Memorygirls - The Matrix Re-inspired

MrsMoo2U

Deep breaths indeed Cheery. All I will say is that last year I just paid somebody to come and do the garden fence (after Mr C insisting that he would and could do it but always found other things to do - for example he is currently reading a motorbike magazine and he doesnt own a motorbike!). He (Mr C) was over the moon with the result and said that he wished he had done that years earlier. Personally Cheery I wouldnt give it 4 weeks. If this mornings events are anything to go by then I doubt that anything will change in 4 weeks. Dont let him put you off by saying that it is negative as I am sure that he will appreciate the use of the garden as much as you and will also wonder why it took so long to get it done. I do however know how hard it is to do this. Think of it like this........ 4 weeks is 28 nights of not being able to sit in the garden...... 28 evenings of sheer rest and relaxation, 28 nights of coming home from work and wishing. Remember Hyders bucket list and think that you will never get those 28 evenings back. Go for it. If you have the money now why not treat yourself. You are so worth it.
PS In 28 days time we will have passed the longest day so the evenings will be getting shorter and you will have less hours to sit outside!!!

Cheery_Daff

Ah, what price marital harmony..... He was dashing off somewhere else when we talked briefly about it, so we'll sit down later and have a proper chat. You're right, if it's not going to be started in the next week, it probably won't be started in the next 4! I'm not sure what the issue is with getting someone in - it'll be me who's paying for it, not both of us!

Anyway, I think it's touched a raw nerve as I've generally got a bit of a thing about thinking I have to be entirely self reliant, not asking for help, not admitting defeat, thinking I should be able to do everything by myself if I only try hard enough - so it was actually quite a big thing to think 'actually, I don't *have* to struggle, I can get a professional to do it!' - so then being told that was a negative attitude sent me right back into 'oh no, I'm terrible, of course I *should* be able to do it by myself'....

Anyway, enough moaning and moping and misery, the sun's shining and there's plenty of things to do out there that don't involve building walls! (even if I do have to look at the debris in the meantime :rotfl:)

MrsMoo2U

Oh Cheery, I also identify with the self reliant thing. I always have been and always sorting every one else out. Me and Mr C had a similar conversation last week when I was worrying about money and he suddenly said something that made me realise that for the first time in my life, I had somebody who was prepared to share those worries and work things out. I had been keeping it all to myself and it was a revelation.
You are not being negative in getting somebody to help. I think it is more a case of Mr Daffs perhaps feeling inadequate (that is what happens with Mr C) even though he isnt as this just isnt his forte (but I bet that even he doesnt realise this is the issue). The problem is working out how to do something without making them feel as though they are inadequate. Try selling it to him along the lines of money saving in the long run and you can enjoy it more quickly. Whilst somebody is doing something they are good at then he can concentrate on more important things like guitar lessons etc.

Cheery_Daff

Thanks cheri. I suspect I know the reason(s) for the reluctance (which I won't go into on here), so I think I will be suggesting that I'll ringing someone else, and then he can concentrate on other cheery things And I might be able to sit outside before the end of the month! :T :T

jc2703

Evening All - can I stick my head in ?

Hope you are all doing well! I've not been about much since I started my new job in March - just as I started to get my head around everything and settling in to working full time they decide to announce that they are putting 80 of us up for possible redundancy. found out on friday that they are proposing one redundancy in my group of three - the other two have been there for five years so I think its pretty much me so Im job hunting again. Diet went out of the window a couple of weeks ago, budget is up the swanny and my health has took a nose dive but this is all related to the current situation and once that's resolved everything else will fall into place.

J x

Memory_Girl

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

Anyway, I think it's touched a raw nerve as I've generally got a bit of a thing about thinking I have to be entirely self reliant, not asking for help, not admitting defeat, thinking I should be able to do everything by myself if I only try hard enough - so it was actually quite a big thing to think 'actually, I don't *have* to struggle, I can get a professional to do it!' - so then being told that was a negative attitude sent me right back into 'oh no, I'm terrible, of course I *should* be able to do it by myself'....

)

OMG Cheery - I could have written that.

Can I refer you to my earlier "sometimes this personal deveopment stuff is pants" comment :rotfl:

You know what, my new mantra is going to be "It can be simple" - from here on in I will look at how to achieve what I want the SIMPLEST way - not necesarily the CHEAPEST way.

I'm going to stop fighting with MYSELF and make peace with the fact that wanting to have it all means I have in the past ended up doing it all.

For my birthday I am going to treat myself to a year of the "simple life" instead.

MG

Off to make noodles for DS2 for his tea, its what he wants, what he will eat and as DS1 is still at Grandmas there no reason to make life hard on myself on inisisting on a proper knife and fork dinner

teapot2

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

Anyway, I think it's touched a raw nerve as I've generally got a bit of a thing about thinking I have to be entirely self reliant, not asking for help, not admitting defeat, thinking I should be able to do everything by myself if I only try hard enough - so it was actually quite a big thing to think 'actually, I don't *have* to struggle, I can get a professional to do it!' - so then being told that was a negative attitude sent me right back into 'oh no, I'm terrible, of course I *should* be able to do it by myself'....

Hi Cheery, I too know this sentiment but recently have had a bit of a change of mindset and it has been such a relief. Whilst I CAN decorate, it takes me ages, hurts my knees [arthritis] and means rooms are out of action for ages and I'm stressed, tired and grumpy. SOOO took a deep breath and rang a local decorater who was recommended and him and his sidekick were great - did a bedroom, living room and eating area in 2.5 days. They moved furniture and took down and replaced the curtain rails etc and tidied up after themselves. Result - far less stress and all done and dusted really quickly. On the back of that I got someone in to weed and tidy the garden. My back was really bad last year and I couldn't do much so it was looking a real mess and getting me down. He did 6 hours which was weeding, taking out a dead tree, thinning out plants and generally making it look decent again. Am so pleased and hope to be able to keep it weeded if I do a bit at a time which is really all I can manage.

I work almost full-time and have other committments too so life is pretty full at times and I'm so pleased I took the step to move away from thinking I must do it myself . I know I can but I don't have to! Will save up and get more decorating done as and when we need it - can highly recommend payiing other folk to do things that make life easier. Soz for long post - Teapot

teapot2

jc2703 wrote: »

Evening All - can I stick my head in ?

Hope you are all doing well! I've not been about much since I started my new job in March - just as I started to get my head around everything and settling in to working full time they decide to announce that they are putting 80 of us up for possible redundancy. found out on friday that they are proposing one redundancy in my group of three - the other two have been there for five years so I think its pretty much me so Im job hunting again. Diet went out of the window a couple of weeks ago, budget is up the swanny and my health has took a nose dive but this is all related to the current situation and once that's resolved everything else will fall into place.

J x

Hi J, sorry to hear your news, take care of yourself in all the stress you are feeling and here's hoping it means a new and better opportunity will spring up for you.

Bitsy_Beans

JC - Sorry to hear about the possible redundancy and general "life is a bit pants", hope things pick up for you xxx

Cheery - Pay someone, you can afford it and if it means it will get done in time for you to actually enjoy the garden then so be it. Sometimes it's just easier to get someone in. My lovely FIL keeps going on about getting a conservatory and fitting it ourselves. He'd do a great job with the half brick walls etc BUT he's used to working on a building site and would in all honesty wreck the garden in the process. Not to mention is attitude is to "tip away at it" meaning doing it slowly (he is in his early 70's) but given that I have children on site I am responsible for I need it done ASAP. No guarantees of that if FIL does it so pay someone else more to do it is our only option.

I heartily agree with making lives simple

clairewop

OMG my arm is killing but I have perservered and have knitted my first square Now lets see anyone tell me I will never be able to knit with needles . Will take the wool to the hospital tomorrow and have another go at another square, while I'm waiting for Mum, I can then sew them together and make a blanket