Memorygirls - The Matrix Re-inspired

OliveOyl_2

I'll have to rely on you lot to chivvy me along.

I just don't know where to start - I've done the coffee (with the dregs of milk) and I have a shopping list started - includes bread as the birds are eating the green stuff. All the post has been sorted and opened and there is a smallish pile of matters arising.

Now I think I'll start gathering a mountain of things that can possibly be sold in the 3 weeks.....
*I hate doing Boot Fairs though*

hypno06

**Sneaks on**

Waves at OO :wave:

**Sneaks off again**

redsquirrel80

It's a point worth thinking about Cheery - especially about the Universe - if we talk/ think that "all men are..." do we get what we expect? And people often behave how they think they are expected to behave... so if we let the men know we think "all men are lazy", does that give them an excuse to get out of the housework? On a more serious note, perhaps it's not that they (the majority of men, or whatever) don't notice subtlety, but rather that society expects them not to respond to such cues, so they are almost conditioned not to?

EssexHebridean

Olive - so long as you make clear what the time limits are on payment you have time to eBay stuff if you've got three weeks - 7 days for the listing, say 3 for the payment, post items the day after payment received, and then a clear week for people to raise any queries that will be easier to sort out from here. Could you maybe sort stuff into four piles:
Sellable on eBay
Sellable via a car-boot/MusicMagpie
Not sellable but good for the charity shop
Not fit for anything - throw it away! Quick!

Then do a quick first pass through for the best bits for eBay - get those listed quickly to avoid wasting time, before going onto a more details sorting out of one area, moving onto one room, at a time? That way you see results quickly, and can hopefully make some extra cash at the same time? Good luck - I'm in the middle of a patch of determination to get things sorted here at the moment! (I think the airing cupboard may be in for a blitz at some stage - did I forget to include something as simple as a new face flannel in my cheap-treats earlier?!)

Daffs my dearie you make some extremely good points there, and I can imagine that there must have been a few butterflies fluttering about when you hit "submit" too. Well done for saying what others may well have been too nervous to say! The point which has been made (by me and several others) about Men not getting subtlety, has actually been proven as true as you may know. The male brain and female brain function in very different ways - and this relates directly to the ways that each gender deals with emotional stuff. Women are "generally" quicker to over-react to a situation - hormones can have a lot to do with this. Women are also more likely to burst into tears because they are angry too, interestingly - what a lot of men see as "being emotional" or "she must be upset about something" is actually just as likely to be frustration that because of conditioning we don't feel able to say *exactly* what we want to. (The angry = crying thing by the way is also a complete vicious circle - you get angry, which makes you cry, which makes you angrier, and repeat....!) Men's brains on the other hand work better when they have a direct statement to respond to - so "Would you give me a hand with the washing up please" gets a better reaction than "You never help with anything! The place is a tip!"
On my FaceBook earlier I spotted that someone had as their status the following:
If you have a wonderful man who helps balance your whole world, who isn't perfect but is perfect for you. Who works hard and would do anything for you. Who makes you laugh and drives you crazy, who is your bestfriend, who you want to grow old with, who you are thankful for everyday and who you could not live without. Brag about him a little and post this as your status x Isn't that just lovely? I don;t usually follow things like that but just might, on that one! It just sums things up for me - I love MrEH to bits, and he knows it. He thinks (and regularly tells me) that I'm gorgeous, and although I am well aware that in the classical sense he is very, very wrong, the fact that to him he's just speaking the truth is wonderful, a real confidence booster. I suspect that one of the reasons why the "anti-men" vibe comes across on forums like this more than the "pro-men" vibe is that a) people who are unhappy with even a little bit of a relationship are more inclined to shout about it than those who are blissfully happy, and b) those who think "well I've got my perfect man, thank you!" feel more than a little awkward saying as much when they are surrounded by others who are maybe having problems in their relationship, or who are single, and unhappy with that.

OK - sorry, rambling now, and probably talking Horlicks.....I'll shut up and go and do another 15 minute blitz somewhere!

robsmum_2

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

It's a point worth thinking about Cheery - On a more serious note, perhaps it's not that they (the majority of men, or whatever) don't notice subtlety, but rather that society expects them not to respond to such cues, so they are almost conditioned not to?

That's really interesting because after my experience with my ex- husband I eventually met my OH. I was so conditioned in not expecting a response that I then expected OH to be the same.
He's poles apart from my ex and in the early days was constantly reminding me "I'm not a mind reader". I've learnt that and now try to talk to him (most of the time) but also had to learn that I may not always get the response I think I should have......:eek:

greenbee

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Morning all - positive vibes going to FW - healthy it is, but I refuse point BLANK to send ANY sort of vibes for anyone wanting to be a stick insect. You're a woman - curves are meant to be there!

Seconded... I'm sure MrFW would be very disappointed if he came home to find a stick insect instead of the curves he loves

Re. OH's... firstly we may be putting MG off finding herself a man (or getting the universe to do it for her ), and I agree with Cheery that yes, we do need to make sure that when we're dealing with the negatives we focus on the positives, or potential positive outcomes too...

better get back to 'work' - my dad is here so instead of writing I'm labouring in the house and garden!

OliveOyl_2

:wave: right back at you Hypno I'm enjoying a faster BB SO much :D

15 minutes and I have a corner of the kitchen where the sofa is *sorted*
I don't think the sofa has moved since I was last here in March, I got about 1lb in crumbs from it's depths, the pictures are wiped, the crud accumulated on the little table is binned or ready for DD to put back in her room. I now have a place to collapse in this evening.

Thanks EH, you've said what Popeye was saying, but I was sticking my fingers in my ears.
He can go through the 4ft high pile of CD's that the kids have returned to us now they're on their i-pod or mp3 or whatever, when he gets here in 2 weeks time.

Now I'm going to do 15 minutes in the bathroom

I know I'm moaning, but a lot of what is sellable is small, so won't make much impact when it's gone......except to the bank balance I suppose....
I bluddy will be positive about this

Alisonpennypincher

I have to agree cheery, i don't mean anyone on here, but i know generally people are quick to moan and whinge about their respective partners. I feel really uncomfortable doing this - not that i need to, although my DH can drive me crazy at times, i don't feel it is something that i need to belittle him with at Mums n tots, school playground etc.

If people have real relationship issues then yes it is important to share amongst friends, but what i mean is the moaning about not doing the washing up, leaving the toilet seat up, picking his nose in front of the telly etc and collective eye rolling that goes with it.

Maybe i am lucky in that i never want to moan about my DH. We've been together since i was 16, have been married for 11 years this year wihtout ever rowing. But i do realise that i am one of the lucky ones.

ClootiesMum

Hi y'all - quick nip on at lunchtime

cheeryDaff - you've made me feel ashamed & for interests of keeping things right
Clootiesdad is wonderful - he's not perfect but neither am I - we accept each other as we are & respect & love each other. We've both been to hell & back over the past few years (nothing to do with marriage issues though) & are now closer than ever & I don't know what I would do without him.
he has a brilliant sense of humour (well, staying with me he has to), an incredible work ethic & he can cook :j:j:j
he's not precious over male/female roles - the other day he was baking & I was chopping kindling but will not see me struggle

I'm making him sound like an angel but he's not - but as I'm not either that's not an issue.

Now that I hope I've set the record straight with my wonderful hubby - and I'm sorry for all others who don't have this relationship with their other halves - I'll try & find some more embarrassing stories about him (believe me, there are many)

Like the time he introdued me to someone at a work's official event as - here's my wife Margaret"

My name's not Margaret :eek::eek:

Bitsy_Beans

Souk08 wrote: »

Perfect man - a pretty skinhead...who I only see twice a week for booze and bed and leaves me in peace the rest of the time to do my own thing! (Well, you did ask) Sorry cheri but Im not the romantic type!

My mum has said several times that men should be kept in a [STRIKE]stable [/STRIKE] stud farm (OK not a stable necessarily but the word I am looking for flew out of my head and is no where to be seen - brain finally strikes back LOL) and then "rented" out for a night. Sounds like you've on to something there Souk as sometimes I think my mum might actually be right LOL

crickett1234 wrote: »

Can I just leap onto one of my many soapboxes? I have found, in my vast experience of emotional eating (I have been doing it for 32 years now - hence my size) that it rarely has anything to do with being comforted. I have started to call it punishment eating. I think that is closer to what it actually is. /off soap box.

Or are you eating to force down the uncomfortable feelings? Anxiety is normally felt in the gut or in the throat. What better way to suppress those feeling than to stuff food down the hole.
I eat for a number of different reasons, being hungry sadly falls way down the list a lot of the time BUT by acknowledging when I am doing it for other reasons is at least helping me pick apart the reasons why I do. Besides as the lovely ladies at Beyond Chocolate say there are number of different things people use for coping with life, drink and drugs being one of them. when measured against those harmful things eating it perhaps the kinder one of all (although I am not advocating overeating as being healthy but less toxic way of coping than drink or drugs IYSWIM).
Crickett if I may I will send you a PM about something xx Hugs for you.

Firewalker - Am late to the thread but hope the appointment went well.

MG - The rabbi and Priest sound like good friends to have

Had a bit of an emotional morning with a friend who I am encouraging to think about what she wants rather than what everyone else does. Hoping our chat has given her something to think about and am sending her positive vibes that she makes the best decision for her.

Other than that done nothing So housework and general playing catchup is on the cards

Sorry if I've missed anything important, doing it all in a rush here