Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Slowdown

Hi Lost
Haven't been able to write for a while due to being very busy at work and then a holiday. But I have followed with great interest and can definitely see more of a 3 steps forward but only two steps back situation, not the other way round.
We all have down days, its part of the rich tapestry of life. It would be rather strange if we didin't. But it's how you learn to cope with those days that makes the difference.
I notice that on your down days you beat yourself up. Partly that's because your other half has too much influence on how you feel about yourself, and partly because you feel you are not moving closer towards your goals at that particular moment.
It's ok to stand still on your journey through this every now and again. Travelling at speed, keeping motivated and upbeat is very tiring and often unsustainable over long periods. The key is not to blame yourself when you do have a bad time.
You have come such a long way. If you plotted your progress and achievements on a timeline you would see everything you have done and be justly proud.
It is not easy to change and yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to stand against those who would wish to see you weakened, to heighten their own sense of power over you, yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to confess your mistakes and then take responsibility for them, yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to trust people and the advice they give you, when you don't even know them, and yet again you are doing just that.
Take a deep breath this morning. Look at the day ahead and do what you can. After all, what you can do is better than what you can't.
With my best wishes and full support
Slowdown

girlatplay

Good post Slowdown.

It is difficult when we have down days but I try to remember that I will feel better again in a day or so, so I try not to let it get to me too much and just ride it out. If it was my OH taking the mick out of me I would hang up on him and get on with what I was doing. You deserve to be treated with respect. If he is having a laugh and a joke that is one thing (although sometimes that can get out of hand) but if he seems to be quite serious then are you able to tell him to back off a bit? Mr G winds me up a lot and it really bothers me sometimes but the more it bothers me, the more he does it :mad: I know he is joking though. If he was serious we would not be together!

Take care honey

xxx

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

Hello Lost

Sorry to hear you had a bad start to the day. You say your OH was annoying you. What did he say that annoyed you the most. Why does he do this.

Don't think too much about it, just make a list of what you have to do and get on with it. Slowly but surely. Take a look at your little girl and you will get the motivation. Think of the life you want for her

I feel for you. Remember we are all here for you.

Don't let OH wear you down. You are a stronger person than you give yourself credit for. People who try and knock others down are not happy with themselves.

Let us know how you get on.

God bless
E

He annoys me by going on at me about not doing things, about how I act and that I am so unmotivated unorganised and never stick to anything. He saysabout my weight and how I have been asking for money recently from him for shopping.

I do look at DD and and she does motivate me as I want to get straight so much for her. I really really do.

Do you think hes not happy himself? xxx

Lost_and_nervous

butterflylady wrote: »

Lost & Nervous, I have spent this afternoon reading your diary and have found your writing very inspirational (sp). I wish you were near me in regards to your beauty work, I am the most ungirly girl ever but would like to be more girly, I would love to have someone to advise me and teach me, on things like make up and painting my nails!! God I am so sad!! I think the girly gene completley (sp) missed me and I'm too old now to expirement on my own!!

Any way good luck on the debt busting and keep up the positive thinking!!

Thank you so much for your kind words, you have put a little smile on my face.

If you want to be girly then you can be girly. your not sad at all and never to old to experiment on your own. I could help you over here if you would like?

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Slowdown wrote: »

Hi Lost
Haven't been able to write for a while due to being very busy at work and then a holiday. But I have followed with great interest and can definitely see more of a 3 steps forward but only two steps back situation, not the other way round.
We all have down days, its part of the rich tapestry of life. It would be rather strange if we didin't. But it's how you learn to cope with those days that makes the difference.
I notice that on your down days you beat yourself up. Partly that's because your other half has too much influence on how you feel about yourself, and partly because you feel you are not moving closer towards your goals at that particular moment.
It's ok to stand still on your journey through this every now and again. Travelling at speed, keeping motivated and upbeat is very tiring and often unsustainable over long periods. The key is not to blame yourself when you do have a bad time.
You have come such a long way. If you plotted your progress and achievements on a timeline you would see everything you have done and be justly proud.
It is not easy to change and yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to stand against those who would wish to see you weakened, to heighten their own sense of power over you, yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to confess your mistakes and then take responsibility for them, yet you are doing just that.
It is not easy to trust people and the advice they give you, when you don't even know them, and yet again you are doing just that.
Take a deep breath this morning. Look at the day ahead and do what you can. After all, what you can do is better than what you can't.
With my best wishes and full support
Slowdown

Youve bought a tear to my eye - again - I really dont know what to say, you have such a wonderful way of looking at things and then pointing them out. Thank you so much for being so kind. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Good post Slowdown.

It is difficult when we have down days but I try to remember that I will feel better again in a day or so, so I try not to let it get to me too much and just ride it out. If it was my OH taking the mick out of me I would hang up on him and get on with what I was doing. You deserve to be treated with respect. If he is having a laugh and a joke that is one thing (although sometimes that can get out of hand) but if he seems to be quite serious then are you able to tell him to back off a bit? Mr G winds me up a lot and it really bothers me sometimes but the more it bothers me, the more he does it :mad: I know he is joking though. If he was serious we would not be together!

Take care honey

xxx

Thank you for your kind words you are so right. you are right so right. it does upset me and get me down. hope you and little miss are ok xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Time seems to go so fast! There arent enough hours in the day. I am trying to be strong, I am so worried about the pay day loans, as the time is approaching where they are going to asking for the money from a bank account which no longer exists.

Im scared, worried and jjust want it to go away.... everytime the adverts come on the tv I get really angry and frustrated and have a feeling of guilt come over me. But on the positive side of things I have now got a new bank account which I am now in control of! It feels good.

I have made £8 - very pleased with that, I have put it away towards the debts.

be back in a bit xxx

Lost_and_nervous

56 items to list and still ALOT more to go!!!

Then theres payday tomorrow and and what does payday mean, theres those nasty payday loan companies who are going to default me! Yes theres no longer a bank account which exists where they can take the money from. I am scared about their tactics though, not very happy at all to be honest but I am thinking that once I have defaulted at 12 oclock tonight I will call them first thing and discuss this mess I have got myself into. what else can I do.

On a happier note I have made £6! Im sticking it all in a pot at the moment which I look at to see the pennies amount. Its nice to see actually. Good sense of achievement!

Still nothing from the beauty side of things. Just need to get out there and continue advertising. I need to stay focused and positive! xxx

girlatplay

Hi Lost

56 items and more to list :T

Tomorrow will be another big step for you. Once you have that under control you will feel better. They can't take what you haven't got so they will just have to come to some kind of arrangement with you. I don't know much about payday loans so I can't really comment on this. Good luck with talking to them and remember, this will all be over one day. Keep focussed and keep your chin up

Gap x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi Lost

56 items and more to list :T

Tomorrow will be another big step for you. Once you have that under control you will feel better. They can't take what you haven't got so they will just have to come to some kind of arrangement with you. I don't know much about payday loans so I can't really comment on this. Good luck with talking to them and remember, this will all be over one day. Keep focussed and keep your chin up

Gap x

Thank you so much, thank you for supporting me, being my friend and understanding. I am so scared about tomorrow I really am. xx