What to do?Difficult Situation

squashy

Why don't you take the following approach?

"I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but I'm worried that one of my boys has taken my iPod. Before I go in all guns blazing and ground him for life, would you mind checking that you or your son haven't picked it up by accident?"

meritaten

I too would go with 'did you pick up MY iPod by mistake'? you arent accusing anyone of stealing but giving someone a chance to return it without prejudice! I certainly wouldnt directly accuse anyone of stealing!

silly_moo

You said you searched the house, but have you searched your bag/pockets/car as well? Is it possible that after having written your shopping list, you absent-mindedly picked up the ipod and took it with you?

I had a similar situation with money that went missing. I confronted my aunt and uncle who were staying with me at that time as I thought their little boy may have taken the money to play with it.
Eventually the money was found on a bookshelf and honestly, I still don't remember putting it there! I must have done it without thinking, funny how my brain never registered this.
I have to tell you I was really ashamed afterwards and until this day I feel guilty when visiting them. This happened almost two years ago.

scottishminnie

you could call their bluff and say you've spoken to your insurance company as you intended to make a claim and they have asked you to report it to the police. I'd put this in such a way that it appeared I was letting them know as the police may contact them for statements.

If they've nothing to hide then there shouldn't be any rash reaction. On the other hand if they go off the deep end it probably speaks volumes. They may even suddenly remember something......

ailuro2

I'd drop it into the conversation, phone up and say you're sorry you missed them at the weekend, tell them you've been too busy tearing the house apart looking for the ipod since then to have phoned them before now... ask them if they saw your silver / purple / whatever colour it is ipod sitting on the side table when you were there.

Do you leave your doors unlocked? Were the boys upstairs while you were out - it wouldn't be the first time a thief tried a doorhandle and made off with something without anyone realising the thief had been in their house.

t4mof

We had a similar situation at the beginning of the month on DS2's birthday.

We invited his best friend and one of DS1's good friends around after school for tea. DS2 got a Nintendo DSi for his birthday and after both friends had gone home, he wanted to play on it before bed.

We searched the house for 2 hours but couldn't find it anywhere. It was horrible because I didn't want to think it was one of the friends but when something just disappears from your house after people have been round, it's difficult to think of anything else.

Anyway we sent a text to DS1 friend's dad - again really hard to word it without coming aross as accusing (and even more difficult as English is not his first language!). We went down the line of explaining that DS2 had got this DSi for his birthday, we couldn't find it and wondered whether in the rush of leaving, it had accidentally been tidied away in friends bag. DS1 insisted he knew nothing about it and I know he would have cracked through 2 hours of searching and myself in tears.

I tried to phone DS2's friends mum because I wanted to do it verbally as we are friends. She didn't answer her phone but as I was seeing her OH on the Saturday at DS2's party, I thought I would do it face to face.

Saturday morning comes and DS1 says he thinks his friend had taken the DSi because he'd uploaded a photo on Facebook from a DSi and said his friend didn't have one. So the friend gave himself away and it gave us that bit more proof that he had taken it.

We sent another text to dad and after the party hadn't heard anything so went round to their house to confront the friend. It was a horrible situation but I'm not sure there was any other way of dealing with it. Thankfully dad confronted son and after 20 minutes of him trying to lie his way out of it (DS1 had told him he could have it for the weekend, he found it in the street with DS1, actually DS1 might not have know he had found it) we finally got the DSi back.

Later on in the afternoon dad brought him back round with the game that he'd also taken and tried to get him to give us another of his games as an apology. We didn't take it as we just wanted our things back.

Not sure this has helped OP in any way, just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel.

Hope you find it.

red_devil

one way round it, ask people to come when your there?

You make never clear this one up sadly.

shellsuit

I had a neighbour round once, accusing my son is taking his sons gameboy game (they were about 8 or 9 then), stupid thing was, it was a game my son had anyway so why would he take someone elses?!

We had words at the door, my son was upset, I was livid, then a few days later, my sons friend told him that his Dad had found the game under his bed!

I was fuming, how dare he accuse my son, then not even bother to come and apologise when he'd found it! He was an !!!!! anyway and I did have a lovely go at him one night over something else, which made me feel gooooood





OP, I'd try with the inlaws again, just tell them it's still lost and could they ask their son again if he has got it.

I wouldn't mind if it were my son being asked, just not when he is being shouted at whilst being accused.