What to do?Difficult Situation

Disdisbiff

I have a difficult situation/problem and dont now what to do.I am looking for any advice on what others would do.

On Sunday I went shopping having left my teenage sons at home as I was only going shopping to my local Mr M which is 5 minutes away to collect a birthday cake for my son.
Whilst i was out My SiL BiL and Nephew arrived with birthday cards for my son.
When i had returned home i had already missed SiL BiL and nephew as they had gone home. After making tea i went to fetch my Ipod touch which was left on the dining table which is in my living room but it was gone.
I have searched the house high and low and have even fully emptied out my recycle bin and refuse bin to no avail.
OH called BiL nephew says he saw it on the table i was out from 2.15 until 3.00 pm and BiL and co arrrived at 2.30 when i came home the boys said that after i left they locked the door behind me and only let in their aunt uncle and cousin and locked the door when they left again
I dont want to accuse anyone of taking itas i have no evidence but its not in the house the bins anywhere any advice please.

balletshoes

it is difficult ..... but I don't think you can accuse anyone to be honest. If you are absolutely positive you haven't mislaid it/its been moved, then it could still be any one of 3 people or your boys. So where would you start and how?

RadoJo

Could you ask your SiL and BiL just to check whether they have picked it up with something else by accident? You don't need to accuse anyone - just tell them what you've written here: that you can't find it anywhere and just want to check whether they saw it or might know where it could have ended up.

Disdisbiff

I have asked my boys the haven't touched it as they have PC in their room eldest son said nephew was standing at table the whole time and it definately wasn't seen or touched after i arrived home at 3pm
Feel really bad as dont want to accuse anyone and dont want to fall out with BiL and SiL but its looking likely that its been taken during the time i was out and only 5 people were in the house 2 of them were my sons

jackieglasgow

How old is your nephew and do you know him well? If it were me, I would call him up and ask him directly, say that you hope he never took it, but that if he did, and he returns it to you by a certain day then no more will be said about it. It might work better to go softly, softly directly with him, than go through his parents.

Disdisbiff

Rao Jo nephew said he saw an iPod touch on the table described it and said it was next to wrapping paper have checked right to the bottom of each bin and it wasnt found whole house has been searched too

jackieglasgow

Also, what about the grandparents? Would they be any help with him?

Disdisbiff

Nephew is 14

jackieglasgow

If it were my 14 year old nephew (not far off, they are 11 and a half!) I would call them and ask them myself, as I described before. No need to be argumentative and confrontational, just straightforward.

LEJC

Can you afford to replace it without saying anything to anyone?
Are you 100% sure where you left it?
Do you have the type of honest relationship with SIL and BIL to say that the ipod is missing?
If a similar thing happened the other way round ie SIL lost her ipod after your family visited would you feel upset if she mentioned it to you...or would you think she has every right to ask about property in her house?


Ask yourself those questions and hopfully you will have a clearer idea of if its worth persuing or if you should just put the incident down to bad timing and experience....

sometimes people are frightened to mention things for fear of upestting people but on the other hand if its not cleared up will you always look at your nephew with a slight suspison...and potentially if he has now taken from you once ..will he try again.
It may be a simple case if the ipod got moved and you'll find it in a few days in an unlikely spot...but it could also be that at that age 14 year olds do do things like take something that doesn't belong to them....
Its possibly a good idea to make a follow up call to your BIL and say that the ipod wasn't where the nephew last saw it so it is still missing....if they happen to find it amonst their belongings or if they could recheck that it wasnt picked up in error you would really appreciate its return....

sjc3

Very tricky situation. Really depends on what kind of relationship you have with them all.

If this had happened to me when my sister or brother and their partners/kids visited I would phone and say just as you have here. That it was on the table when I popped out and had now disapeared and despite turning the house upside down I couldn't find it.

I would ask if they had seen it whilst visiting and then go quiet and see what they said from there. If nothing else I know they would check round their homes and speak with their kids. Keeps it lighthearted but also sends out a message that its been noticed. If anything was amiss then hopefully no-one would do it again.

Dont envy you this position it must be very tricky.