VERY intrusive boss in personal life

KiKi

elisebutt65 wrote: »

No-one else seems to have picked up the fact that the CEO wants the OP to do domestic duties in return for the use of the flat?

So she is insisting you use her flat in London, but also act as a domestic skivvy in return? I'd be looking for a new job ASAP!

Well spotted. I was so gobsmacked they wrote to her parents that I missed that!
:eek:

KiKi

DCFC79

If you want to stay where you are then bow to they're demands but if you want to leave then look for another job and leave,

Savvy_Sue

I've looked at a couple of your previous threads, and can't help feeling that it's time to go ...

Out of interest, when you go to London for team meetings, where are these held?

DVardysShadow

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I've looked at a couple of your previous threads, and can't help feeling that it's time to go ...

I thought the story sounded familiar

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

lol, indeed! She can't MAKE you stay over...

Maybe you're sending mixed signals, and she fancies you lol

That has come up before.

Dilemma, you need to get out of that job ASAP. If things are as twisted as you describe from the inside, then I would be quite certain that anyone with influence who knows about the organisation from the outside has got the measure of them. In short, a short period with them on your CV will probably look better than a long period ....

Savvy_Sue

And while you are still there, I would find a 'friend' in the form of a cheap B&B / YMCA / YWCA / other hostel type accommodation. Then when you need to stay over, you are going to your friends in Clapham / Tooting / Wimbledon / wherever. No further details need be given.

dilemma10

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

The advert said the role was based in London - you have moved away from London which appears contrary to their original requirement. What does your contract say?

You work from home - your employer provided you with furniture to do so - you now say this won't fit into your parents' home - that is a major concern for the company as they will want to ensure that you have the correct kit to do the job - they quite rightly need to follow this up. You naively say that you have a desk and chair at home but have you considered if this would conform to H&S requirements?

You say you can't face living in London because of the memories from the relationship - sorry, but you need to get a grip - London is a big city... if anyone at work has received this message / vibe then no wonder they have concerns.

The member of staff that told the boss did the right thing - that is their job. It's not the school playground anymore... no-one needs to keep secrets. Why did you not just ask the question in an open fashion?

You sound a bit immature to be honest and this may come across at work and result in people trying to be a little more mumsy and protective that they ordinarily would be - think about it... if you seem needy, they they will react accordingly. Going back to live with your parents won't have helped your image much either.

Others here may show sympathy BUT you need a dose of realism - you probably need them more than they need you so work out what you want to do and act (professionally) accordingly.

Hi, I think this is incredibly harsh and quite assuming. Firstly, I do not come across as needy in the workplace, far from it. I get on with things. Moving back with parents does not help my image? Hmm, I don't see it as a negative thing really. I moved out when I was 18 and never even came back for the holidays and worked 100 miles away, I have always been very independent but felt that going back to my parents would enable me to save up for my own place, a bit of short term pain for longer term gain. If it hasn't helped my image then I could not care less.
As for the furniture, perhaps that is a bit of a problem for them with their H&S issues and compliances but it is a desk that I have and the CEO doesn't even have one in their office space!
As for asking the PA to keep things in confidence, that was essentially because I had LITERALLY just split up with my partner and would have told the CEO myself within due course (i.e. the next day perhaps?)
London - yes it is a big city but not for me I don't think. That's not to say I will refuse to attend meetings or even visit it for leisure but I am merely saying it does not seem to have worked out well for me over the years.

santacruz_2

Sounds a bit strange. Would it be at all possible that the CEO wants something more from you?!! I'm intrigued as to what you do all evening..if I had to stay at my boss' house over night it would be more than awkward!

Your feelings seem to be the last thing on their minds, after all your relationship has broken down and you're having to move, that's a stressful time for most people.

dilemma10

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And while you are still there, I would find a 'friend' in the form of a cheap B&B / YMCA / YWCA / other hostel type accommodation. Then when you need to stay over, you are going to your friends in Clapham / Tooting / Wimbledon / wherever. No further details need be given.

Hi there, this is a good idea and already working well as people have offered to have me whenever I like or need to stay over so I really genuinely am not understanding some of their issues with this.

chabanad

Lol I've worked in my company for over 5 years now and my boss never required me ever to stay over at her place. If you feel really awkward and unhappy with your boss then either tell her to back off a bit (in a nice way) or I suggest you try looking for another job.

Emmzi

They are entitled to the furniture back so you should arrange for that to be returned to wherever their storage is asap

Lesson for the future - "I am moving" - no reason why is required. Then no one will dig over your private life.

Your employer sounds odd and I would be looking for a new job anyway.

If they employed you on an "in London" basis then cover B&B and travel as if you lived in London. Work out if that is financially viable.

They can dismiss the first time you cannot go to a London event, the first time you look tired at a weekly meeting.

I think you will be happier working somewhere else.