VERY intrusive boss in personal life

Gordon_Hose

I commute from Kent to Berkshire 3 days a week. No-one at work is bothered that I live 170 mile round trip away, provided my work gets done.

KiKi

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi there,
I should have clarified further but am not thinking straight. I have to commute as and when I need to, so for example this week I am in London for three meetings on Thursday, next week all day on Wednesday and the week after that I am out to London for two nights in a row. So it is not ideal.

But it's still your choice. You can live where you want, as long as you get to work on time and do what you need to do.

The problem is my work pay all of my travel expenses - I used to work in South East London and sometimes I would travel to Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester (anywhere) and they would pay for that. Now they see it as I may not attend evening functions like I did before because they would need to book me a hotel (I am sure they would not), and they seem to think they will be paying more expenses.
The thing is, I am sure they won't and another member of staff lives in Reading and they pay her expenses up to about £400 a month!

I think you *should* pay your own commuting expenses - that's just getting to work. We all have to do that. But they should pay your work-related travel expenses on top. Ie, they pay when you're not going to your usual workplace.

I can't see how it would be extortionately more. They can't request you to live in London just so they pay less travel to Coventry or Manchester or wherever.

Perhaps the issue is that I have split up with a long term partner and moved back to my parents and they think I may quit my job too so are piling on pressure.
There is no office space - I find it all bizarre. The member of staff said today the CEO is going to ask the Chair and he may not like it that I have gone 100 miles away, that policy work needs me to be in London, that insurance purposes are now confusing, that contractually things need to change (talk about blowing things up!).

This may be easily resolved by a simple one-to-one conversation with your boss. Ask why there is a need to live in London, and provide any reassurances as to their concerns.

Am I protected for this? Do they have the right to sack me? I have been working for them for almost a year come May 24th. My contract is for 3 months notice period.

I could do without the stress I have reassured them I will work so hard as I usually do whether I'm in Timbuktu or London!

With less than a year's service I'm afraid you have no protection for dismissal at all, except for discriminatory reasons. They could sack you, and have to pay you notice and you'd have no recourse to the law. Stick it out to May 24th and it's a whole different matter.

But I would have a frank and open conversation. Reassure them of your commitment to the job, your love of the company, that you will pay your own commuting expenses etc. That might be all they need.

HTH
KiKi

dilemma10

Hi everybody, very informative and helpful thanks so much.
I have had a very bizarre conversation with a Member of staff who deals with this sort of thing.
Basically it was like - The CEO is going to ask our Board of Directors who may or not like hearing that I am now 100 miles away from what they call the 'base' - we have no office! That she needed to know SHORT or LONG term where I am staying for insurance purposes (isn't that just being nosey?), that my work furniture which is in London (is it going to be safe? will it now be damaged? hello it's work furniute which amounts to about £100 worth and which I will get couried back to their storage), that I once accepted evening functions and now I may not? I live in the Midlands not Egypt so I can still do this and get a late train back...It's all a bit bizarre and pressurising.
In fact it's enough to make me flip, I am only 22 and do alot of work for them. My Parents are saying I'll have a breakdown with the pressure. I only split from my very long term partner of 5 years but known for 8 last Wednesday and already I have been hounded with e-mails about 'Working hard is important' and 'I'll get a key cut made for you you can stay in my flat and help out with domestic duties to pay for it' etc. It's just so god damn awful and soul destroying to have employers meddling during this time!

lucylucky

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi everybody, very informative and helpful thanks so much.
I have had a very bizarre conversation with a Member of staff who deals with this sort of thing.
Basically it was like - The CEO is going to ask our Board of Directors who may or not like hearing that I am now 100 miles away from what they call the 'base' - we have no office! That she needed to know SHORT or LONG term where I am staying for insurance purposes (isn't that just being nosey?), that my work furniture which is in London (is it going to be safe? will it now be damaged? hello it's work furniute which amounts to about £100 worth and which I will get couried back to their storage), that I once accepted evening functions and now I may not? I live in the Midlands not Egypt so I can still do this and get a late train back...It's all a bit bizarre and pressurising.
In fact it's enough to make me flip, I am only 22 and do alot of work for them. My Parents are saying I'll have a breakdown with the pressure. I only split from my very long term partner of 5 years but known for 8 last Wednesday and already I have been hounded with e-mails about 'Working hard is important' and 'I'll get a key cut made for you you can stay in my flat and help out with domestic duties to pay for it' etc. It's just so god damn awful and soul destroying to have employers meddling during this time!

What is the "work furniture"?

Do you have to do computer based work at home?
If so did you do enough to warrant having your home assessed for DSE regulations? If that is the case your new place of work aka home would need to be assessed.

They seem to be very keen for you to have a home base in London, you seem to be suggesting that you will cope when living elsewhere.

If you can continue to do your shop and attending whatever meetings and functions are required I cannot see what difference it makes where you stay.

Is the job worth the hassle?

Sambucus_Nigra

When you were recruited, did you live 100 miles away? And was moving to london a condition of offering you the job?

dilemma10

I do really like the job on one hand but hate it on the other.
I have alot of recognition in this job as it is national and I can get my name about in the sector and am only 22.
On the other hand I cope with an extraordinary amount of stress for a 22 year old for £23k a year (is that good for a grad?) and the Boss is very intrusive, I have to stay at her house sometimes overnight, she wrote a letter to my parents praising me (?) I have a tremendous workload of things which are difficult.
It's a mixed bag really and I don't think there are many jobs going in the Midlands in the same sector.
I do like the line of work and the

lucylucky

"I have to stay at her house sometimes overnight"

I hope that means you "choose" to stay at her house overnight?

I would not be interested in a job where I "had" to stay at my bosses.

dilemma10

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

When you were recruited, did you live 100 miles away? And was moving to london a condition of offering you the job?

When I was recruited I was in the Midlands and they asked me when I would be moving to London, the job was advertised as 'based in London' yes, although there is no base. At the same time it was also advertised as 'SOME work from home' for me to realise it was ALL work from home. So it's a bit of give and take.
I am desperately trying to find my contract - I am probably screwed but cannot face going back to London, too expensive, too many bad memories, too much grief!

Can I just add we are a team of 5, one lives 25 miles from London, the other central, the other central London and the boss splits time between being close to London and being hundreds of miles away!

Can I also add their expenses cost hundreds a month, alot more than mine even when I was in London??? and we all have about one team meeting every 6 weeks.

Gordon_Hose

lol, indeed! She can't MAKE you stay over...

Maybe you're sending mixed signals, and she fancies you lol

dilemma10

Hmm well she words it in such a way that makes it extremely difficult to say no, put it that way.