VERY intrusive boss in personal life

lucylucky

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hmm well she words it in such a way that makes it extremely difficult to say no, put it that way.

First new thing you need to learn then is how to say "NO"!

Sambucus_Nigra

dilemma10 wrote: »

When I was recruited I was in the Midlands and they asked me when I would be moving to London, the job was advertised as 'based in London' yes, although there is no base. At the same time it was also advertised as 'SOME work from home' for me to realise it was ALL work from home. So it's a bit of give and take.
I am desperately trying to find my contract - I am probably screwed but cannot face going back to London, too expensive, too many bad memories, too much grief!

Can I just add we are a team of 5, one lives 25 miles from London, the other central, the other central London and the boss splits time between being close to London and being hundreds of miles away!

Can I also add their expenses cost hundreds a month, alot more than mine even when I was in London??? and we all have about one team meeting every 6 weeks.

You can add what you want - but if you were recruited with the job being 'based in London' then to be honest, I can see why they are annoyed that you have moved 100 miles away again. And the fact that you didn't tell your boss personally. Where the boss lives is not your concern.

You are going to have to negotiate your way out of this by coming to an agreement with your manager; the best way of doing this I find is to work out what their minimum position is on this and try and come to some middle ground on it. You paying expenses to [say] Luton and them paying expenses from there might be a way forward; as well as never being late for the london meetings!

Loanranger

You sound understandably overwrought from the relationship ending and you need a few days break from work to think calmly. Are you able to book annual leave for a few days?
Your boss has offered you a flat to live in while you sort yourself out. This is actually a generous offer. Her comments about working to take your mind off your personal problems have some validity.
The wound of the relationship ending is still raw, don't do anything now that you may later regret, such as resigning. You mention that the job would be difficult if not impossible to find outside London. This being the case, it seems that if you resign then you'll still need to work in London but for another organisation. It does seem that it's being in London that you are unable to cope with at present but this feeling may well pass. Don't allow a failed relationship to damage other aspects of your life.

lucylucky

Can I ask again about the furniture?

Why did you employers provide you with furniture?
Do they now want it back?

dilemma10

lucylucky wrote: »

Can I ask again about the furniture?

Why did you employers provide you with furniture?
Do they now want it back?

They provided me with a desk, chair, and eventually I asked for a bookcase and filing cabinet which they sent to me. They also provided me with a printer.

I have the printer with me but there is no room for this furniture at my Parent's (I already have a desk and chair here).

They do not want the furniture back but in storage so they can use it again in the future for me or somebody else. So I get this part apart from the hounding and implying it will be safe or not safe!

Yes I can sort of see the annoyance and aggravation I have caused by moving away so irrationally, but my Partner did not want to renew the lease on my flat and it was coming to an end soon so I would have been stuck come what may.

Although the job advert said 'Based in London', there is no office space. The job also said 'SOME' working from home but I later found it was all working from home with the odd meeting. I don't know why I mention this but I always felt like they have misadvertised it just like I have misconstrued it.

We all work over the e-mails with the odd call and team meeting so I think it is more than manageable and more than likely alot of my meetings tend to be as far as Newcastle or Manchester which will now be cheaper to travel to from the Midlands anyway!

They say policy means I should be near the House of Commons/Departments but I have never once had somebody call me up for a spur of the moment meeting. For instance tomorrow I am in Coventry which had been booked for months in advance at a government meeting.

Am I really so bang out of order? The member of staff said 'It's like you have just left an office all of a sudden', but is it? I've left my partner not my job?

DCFC79

Definitely come to sort of compromise about where you could live,

pjcox2005

I've got to admit, I'm most confused about what sort of job sends letters to your parents saying you are doing well - fine if it was work experience, but at 22?

dilemma10

The job separate to the mess now has always been high intensity, high profile and demanding.

I have been left shaking in team meetings before. But put up with it for the profile, CV and progression.

I was given a job title as Assistant Director at the age of 22 but it was taken away as the Boss did not really have the power to give it. Sometimes I think because of these things I should keep going and work hard. Other times I wonder what on earth I am doing as believe it or not working from home at the age of 22 is not too great (I'm very sociable and actually enjoy office banter!).

Just not sure what to do as well as how to get out of this mess. Not prepared to compromise on location as have lived in 8 different places throughout uni and jobs and trying to get on the career ladder and am now heading to a breakdown. (I know this is not all the responsibility of work but alot of it is!).

lucylucky

dilemma10 wrote: »

They provided me with a desk, chair, and eventually I asked for a bookcase and filing cabinet which they sent to me. They also provided me with a printer. Do you use a computer, your own, much?

I have the printer with me but there is no room for this furniture at my Parent's (I already have a desk and chair here). Does this mean you cannot now properly "work from home"?

They do not want the furniture back but in storage so they can use it again in the future for me or somebody else. So I get this part apart from the hounding and implying it will be safe or not safe! Are they suggesting that they will only supply you with the tools to do the job if you live in London?

Yes I can sort of see the annoyance and aggravation I have caused by moving away so irrationally, but my Partner did not want to renew the lease on my flat and it was coming to an end soon so I would have been stuck come what may.

Although the job advert said 'Based in London', there is no office space. The job also said 'SOME' working from home but I later found it was all working from home with the odd meeting. I don't know why I mention this but I always felt like they have misadvertised it just like I have misconstrued it. See if you can find your contract and the advert. Might be useful

We all work over the e-mails with the odd call and team meeting so I think it is more than manageable and more than likely alot of my meetings tend to be as far as Newcastle or Manchester which will now be cheaper to travel to from the Midlands anyway! What you think of how the way the business is run and the costs involved is not really relevant unfortunately

They say policy means I should be near the House of Commons/Departments but I have never once had somebody call me up for a spur of the moment meeting. For instance tomorrow I am in Coventry which had been booked for months in advance at a government meeting. You might get called in for a spur of the moment meeting

Am I really so bang out of order? The member of staff said 'It's like you have just left an office all of a sudden', but is it? I've left my partner not my job?

Perhaps the way you communicated things to the company is less than ideal but at the end of the day they are your employers and if they do not like what you have done then sorry but they will get rid of you.

dilemma10

lucylucky wrote: »

Perhaps the way you communicated things to the company is less than ideal but at the end of the day they are your employers and if they do not like what you have done then sorry but they will get rid of you.

Hi there, I take your point and should tell you that as soon as I left (which was during two weeks annual leave) I then asked one member of staff what the implications were in confidence and she then got the CEO to call me. The CEO then offered me her flat to stay in in London which she sometimes uses but knowing her I could not be around her and be manipulated (as I have in the past) so I told her I was going to my Parents, I have communicated it as best as I could.

If they fire me do they have to pay me three months pay as it states in the contract?