VERY intrusive boss in personal life

lucylucky

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi there, I take your point and should tell you that as soon as I left (which was during two weeks annual leave) I then asked one member of staff what the implications were in confidence and she then got the CEO to call me. The CEO then offered me her flat to stay in in London which she sometimes uses but knowing her I could not be around her and be manipulated (as I have in the past) so I told her I was going to my Parents, I have communicated it as best as I could.

If they fire me do they have to pay me three months pay as it states in the contract?

If you have broken your contract then no - they do not need to pay you three months money.

hcb42

I think all of this can be resolved with a sit down meeting, where you sit down with them and overcome any concerns e.g. about accepting evening functions, getting to work on time in London when required, what is happening with the furniture etc...and like the earlier poster said, a few days off work on holiday would probably be good as well.

Sambucus_Nigra

dilemma10 wrote: »

Hi there, I take your point and should tell you that as soon as I left (which was during two weeks annual leave) I then asked one member of staff what the implications were in confidence and she then got the CEO to call me. The CEO then offered me her flat to stay in in London which she sometimes uses but knowing her I could not be around her and be manipulated (as I have in the past) so I told her I was going to my Parents, I have communicated it as best as I could.

If they fire me do they have to pay me three months pay as it states in the contract?

Her job as PA is to let the CEO know everything that the CEO needs to know!

marmitequeen

Right, it sounds to me as if you need some time out, for yourself. You've got loads going on and need some quality time for you. Can you book a couple of days or even ask for compassionate leave?

It's really difficult to understand what is going on with your company - it could be they are just trying to be supportive, but are failing and so actually seem totally intrusive. The only way you'll really find out is if you sit down and have a face to face discussion where you establish what your and their expectations are. Don't go in all guns blazing or telling yourself you are near to breaking, just ask what they expect of you. If it's a shock ask for time to consider your options - then go home and compare to the original advert/contract/person specification. You might well be pleasantly surprised. I'll keep everything crossed for you. Good luck x

KiKi

!!!!!!?

They wrote a LETTER TO YOUR PARENTS? I'm sorry, are you at school? This sounds incredibly unhealthy.

If it is not in your contract that you have to be in London (and I would be GOBSMACKED if it was) then you can live where you want, as long as you can fulfil the job's needs. I utterly disagree that a job 'based in London' means you have a responsibility to be in London. My previous job was based in London, but I still lived 80 miles away. I managed to get to work every day on time, work hard, work from home when required, work long hours when required.

*If* your job means that you are often needed to get to London with 30 minutes' notice, then that's different. But given you primarily work from home, it doesn't suggest this.

OP, given your emotional state (not a criticism, splitting up with someone of 5 years is a big deal), I think you need some time to think about your priorities. Do you really want to be in a job where you're manipulated, made to feel uncomfortable, where your boss writes to your parents and where you are essentially treated like a child? I was on a two-year grad programme at your age and I was treated with respect and professionalism. I wasn't treated like a 13 year old who was made to feel stupid.

This sounds really rather unhealthy. Live where you like, do your job responsibly and learn to say no. And reconsider whether this is worth your career. Your boss has no right to any area of your personal life, so long as you are able to fulfil your role.

ETA - assuming you haven't breached your contract (and I could not think why you would have) then yes, they have to pay you 3 months' service. You may even find that if you resigned they would be shocked. It sounds like they're treating you like the 'young' one in the office, and when you've gone straight from school, to uni, to your first job, it's easy to assume that it's okay to send a letter to your parents or whatever. But it's not. You're an adult, a professional. Yes, you lack experience compared to your boss, but you're still a grown-up and a colleague!

KiKi

gordikin

You've been employed by them for less than 12 months, they can therefore terminate your employment tomorrow without having to give a reason.

KiKi

dilemma10 wrote: »

The member of staff said 'It's like you have just left an office all of a sudden', but is it? I've left my partner not my job?

Regardless of 'what' you've left, you weren't in an office. That's the whole point of working from home. You haven't left an office where you all worked. They can still call you on the same number, still email you, still talk to you?

They sound like odd people. Or maybe I've just been very lucky in having very fair, respectful employers!!

KiKi

Tiddlywinks

The advert said the role was based in London - you have moved away from London which appears contrary to their original requirement. What does your contract say?

You work from home - your employer provided you with furniture to do so - you now say this won't fit into your parents' home - that is a major concern for the company as they will want to ensure that you have the correct kit to do the job - they quite rightly need to follow this up. You naively say that you have a desk and chair at home but have you considered if this would conform to H&S requirements?

You say you can't face living in London because of the memories from the relationship - sorry, but you need to get a grip - London is a big city... if anyone at work has received this message / vibe then no wonder they have concerns.

The member of staff that told the boss did the right thing - that is their job. It's not the school playground anymore... no-one needs to keep secrets. Why did you not just ask the question in an open fashion?

You sound a bit immature to be honest and this may come across at work and result in people trying to be a little more mumsy and protective that they ordinarily would be - think about it... if you seem needy, they they will react accordingly. Going back to live with your parents won't have helped your image much either.

Others here may show sympathy BUT you need a dose of realism - you probably need them more than they need you so work out what you want to do and act (professionally) accordingly.

bristol_pilot

The whole Company sounds bizarre - job title of Assistant Director, but hardly the salary to match! And 'based in London' but there are no offices!

IMO you are better off out of there. Working from home is OK for older people on the run-down to retirement, but not for youngsters building up a career. You need networking opportunities, not to sit at home and attend the occasional meeting. TBH you can pick up jobs paying well above your current salary in London fairly easily. They may have fed you a load of BS about being Assistant Director, but they have paid you as an admin assistant and it is easy to pick up work in that line for a lot more money in London and where there is a proper place of business and commuting 100 miles into town will not be seen as an issue.

elisebutt65

No-one else seems to have picked up the fact that the CEO wants the OP to do domestic duties in return for the use of the flat?

So she is insisting you use her flat in London, but also act as a domestic skivvy in return? I'd be looking for a new job ASAP!