My home is a mess

Taliahmai

Good morning eeryone...well its a gorgeous day here today, which isnt a good thing as i need ot get cleaned up before the baby comes home, but this weather just makes me want to go out lol.

My to do list today is as follows:

Clear living room floor (toys n easter egg wrappers)
Wash up and clear sides in kitchen
Take the 4 piles of clothes currently occuping my dining room table so we can have dinner tonight, upstairs
cut the grass....or clear garden of tuys ready to cut grass tomorrow lol
Sort through my girls clothes and fill at least 1 charity bag

I already gave my bathroom a once over when i got out the shower so thats done at least....im also starting my meal plans today and my healthy eating program, far too much rubbish eaten lately.

Time to upset the kids and go in the living room and turn the cartoons off! Its far too nice for them to be stuck inside getting under my feet lol

Hope you all have a lovely day and achieve what you want to get done.....enjoy the bank holiday!!

oh and on the cutlery note, mine gets eaten too, but you can guarentee when i get round to cleaning the kids room out i find loads of it! even tho they are not meant to eat up there!!, mnine are also !!!!!!s for throwing there spoons away with empty yogurt pots!!

soupdragon10

Procrastinator I too am guilty of keeping stuff that the sensible half of my brain knows I don't use/don't need/takes up space/is of no earthly use but......

Came across a bag of my DD's baby clothes the other day (she is now 24) can't bring myself to part with them all (yes a few tears were shed great big sentimental thing that I am). Couldn't actually think of a reason to keep old bibs so did chuck those but the rest are still in a drawer.

I always start clearing out with things that I am less attached to (e.g. would be easy to throw out ironing board and iron as I loathe ironing) and rather than bin it, if it's useful I put it on Freecycle. Then at least I know someone will make use of it.

Books are my downfall - I must have hundreds of them - and I still buy more. Cookery books, fiction, craft books - anything really, and even when I've two copies I can't bring myself to sell one on.

Baby steps in getting rid - one thing disposed of is one thing less to make a mess.

Have a good day fellow messies.

GreyQueen

procrastinator wrote: »

Quick question
How do you overcome the manic hoarding instinct. I get very distressed when having to make the decision to chuck...anything.
Items bought after much thought and given with love, now unused and disgarded. We had so little money when i was a child and everything was precious. Now we have more than I did then but still tight and way behind the average. My teens are shocked when entering friends houses, makes ours seem like a time warp. How do you overcome the massive fear and guilt and depression. I'm near to tears thinking of all that has to be done.
For some the messy comes from a deep physcological place. How do you overcome that?

Hello, Procrastinator, was just about to get off my backside and up to the lottie but your post moved me deeply and I felt I had to respond. As you may have gathered if you've seen some of my posts, I can be a bit of a joker, but I was raised by a serious hoarder and have issues which sound not dissimilar to your own.

I think the first thing is not to beat yourself up emotionally about your situation and to cut yourself some slack. Fear of want and need, especially if you were raised poor and have a below-average income (ditto to both over here) are serious issues.

I have found reading books on decluttering helpful as a way of identifying my triggers and realising that they're commonplace. I particularly like an American author called Don Aslett. His books like Freedom from Clutter, Not for Packrats Only, etc etc, are snappy and funny with brilliant cartoons and a lot of homespun wisdom. You've probably got some in your library; they are in mine. Or perhaps Amazon? If I'm losing my mojo, I get another fix.

One cartoon I particularly remember is a guy with a think-bubble showing a nuclear mushroom cloud and a caption along the lines of "What is the worst thing which could happen if I got rid of it?"

You could also give yourself a mental exercise in imagining that you are one of those poor Californians whose homes are in the path of raging wildfires. The emergency services have given you 20 minutes to do an evacuation and you can only take the whatever will fit in your car. What would you choose? For most of us, after family, it's things like the family photo albums and the pets!

Another Aslett-ism is Don't love anything which can't love you back (i.e. a person or a pet is more precious than any thing).

I'd suggest that you start to declutter with baby-steps on things which don't have an emotional handle on you (marge tubs etc) and think about liberating the resources stored in them to serve someone else or to be re-purposed via recycling. I know that I can let stuff go more easily if it will go somewhere to be useful as I can't bear waste.

If you take the equivalent of a carrier bag of stuff off your premises each week, and don't add the same amount, you'll gradually win. It didn't get there overnight and it won't disappear overnight.

De-cluttering is emotionally exhausting as what is going on is post-poned decisions and dealing with the demons of fear and want. I was dealing with 2 files of old-job paperwork last night and was shattered from 30 minutes sitting at a table! Limit what you do each session (one drawer or one shelf of a cupboard a day is about the right level) and stop as soon as you start dithering. Some days will be temperamentally unsuitable for decluttering if you're feeling vulnerable and needy.

I'm at the stage on my own decluttering where all the low-hanging fruit has been harvested and what's left is the real toughies; my 18th birthday SLR film camera which I have carefully stored unused for 20 years (I'm nearly 50 btw). I feel that if I get rid (assuming anyone wants this once-valuable but superceded bit of kit) I will be disloyal to the parents who gave it to me. Yet I shan't use it and it's bugging me. Think I will have a wee discussion with them so that I can let it go without guilt or feeling that I have to pretend it's still here............

All the best, GQ. x

PS there's a Great Declutter thread here in OS, too.

Taliahmai

Whey hey ive actually started....tv is off, music is on, kids are in garden, windows are open and i'm....sat on here not wanting to move:o

Loulou2010

well i didnt tackle the bathroom... i went into the kitchen instead and that wasnt even on thel ist but the dishwasher has been emptied and has few glasses in there ready to be filled later. the sides are clear and i'm just about to wash them down and then sweep and mop the floor :cool:

Buddingblonde

Yay for Lou Lou - little steps!!

Grey - love the thought of that book esp. the cartoon - what is the worst that could happen - I think I need that for handling my stuff!

auntymabel

Hi Procrastinator, I'm a lurker here and not even dressed yet so everyone on this thread is way ahead of me. A tip I saw on the Decluttering thread for letting go of sentimental items was to take photos of them to keep the memory.
Some thing aren't sentimental but are still hard to let go of if you're not in the best of financial health because they seem more valuable than to people with plenty of cash that treat almost everything as disposable. I think with me it's comfort thing to keep things but I am gradually letting go but can only do it a little bit at a time but it gets easier as you go along.

Another thing is that when your house in untidy you can imagine that if if I cleaned and tidied it would look great whereas in reality it will only reveal the run down dump it actually is.

I think maybe stuff is like bars on a window - they can protect you or they can imprison you.

I really must move myself - it's lovely day outside and I'll be at work tomorrow :eek: wishing I hadn't wasted so much time on the computer.

Have a productive/relaxing day everyone.

yummymummy79

Another newbie here joining the clan. The main thing to say has to be I HATE HOUSEWORK!! hence it doesn't get done as often as it should. Add to that the fact that I am now 8 weeks preggers and you can imagine the distinct lack of anything that gets done around here!

I'm a student teacher, have my nearly 7 year old son half the week, and an OH who doesn't live here (yet). Baby steps definitely seem the way forward (especially in my case!) but I am mostly concerned with getting through my upcoming 6 week teaching placement in one piece. Last placement I employed my ex's sister as a cleaner which wasn't very money saving but very sanity saving so will be doing that again this time. The last thing you want after a stressful day at school and an evening of planning/marking ahead of you is to come home to a load of stuff to do. Saying that, she only does hoovering/washing up/cleaning kitchen and bathroom so there's still plenty for me to have to do.

I shall shortly be making a list of 'things to do after placement' ready for the Bean's arrival mid-December, who knows I may actually get them done!

Buddingblonde

There are so many messies here that I am going to edit my first post and put everyones name down so that we can keep track of us here. If I miss out your name (or you are a lurker) and want to declare your messyness then let me know.

YORKSHIRELASS

Morning all

Procrastinator, I sympathise. I find it hard to throw stuff out too but I have found that once you start it actually gets easier. I was talking to a neighbour yesterday and she feels like she has reached the point where its pointless even trying to declutter because its got so bad. I understand that feeling but once you do get rid of stuff and see some space in your home it makes you realise that you are doing the right think and gives you the encouragement to continue.

Dont laugh but I keep going and looking at the shelf over my microwave because it looks so nice. I cant believe that firstly I let it get so messy and secondly that I never bothered to sort it out! Small steps all the way.

I have made myself a promise that I will get rid of at least one thing out of my house every day for the next four weeks. Today is easy because I have some catalogues to clear out. Not sure whats next but will try and make it as productive as possible.

Have a good day everyone.