My home is a mess

helen_jelly

Frugal - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, please take it easy, if you HAVE to do the bedroom then do it in 10min chunks and then have a wee cuppa/rest and then tackle a bit more. You must be feeling dreadful so make sure you are kind to yourself. I lost my Dad [actually Stepdad but he was always Dad to me] earlier this year and know how you must be feeling, it takes lots of time to get over this so, again, be gentle with yourself. No words can make it better but I'll be thinking of you, Helen x

Jariya

Aw! Frugal!

I'm so sorry to hear that!

Big (((HUGS)))

That's over and above a normal week and a normal day..by far!

I 'm 42 but lost my Mum just before my 18th birthday and my Dad when I was 33.
I was in a right mess in myself after losing Dad..much more down and worse than I ever thought I would be. I have never suffered from depression but I'd say that must have been the closest to it I ever got and it was a tough time.
Take things a bit easy on yourself..give yourself space and time and there is no need to rush with things.

I know I don't know you but I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. xxx
I said my goodbye to both my parents and I am so glad that I did.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Sagaris - I only came online tonight to see if there was news from you - SO relieved I can`t tell you - my bladder`s too near my eyes! Big Hugs to you and `madam`, AND you`re so absolutely right about waiting to find the right dog for rescue #2 - taking on a dog is like parenting, the dog needs & deserves a place it`ll fit in to, and a human to take the responsibility seriously. NOT a time to let heart rule head for a few weeks then return the poor animal to be recycled yet again! I am so VERY lucky with my vets, been a regular client for just over 30 years, so many pets over the years ranging from big dogs to a pet mouse with bacterial skin infection, and a hamster with a rectal prolapse, a retired battery hen with mild heart failure - and some Best Memories too, sad but comforting, the PTS times were always spot on. The prolaped hamster when it went again gently put to sleep and then cleaned up by vet so it looked ok to take home for my son to bury in the garden. The cat who we thought had a hairball stuck, snuffly and gruff miaows, got worse, booked in for x-ray but worse, suffering before the day it was due - took her in the day before, they could SEE the massive tumour so kindly PTS by a new young female vet who`d joined the partnership. Paid at the time as I always do. Two weeks later, a letter from vets, so thought it might be fee for cancelling xray - it was just a really sweet letter from the young lady vet who had done the PTS, a condolence, she remembered us and our Ellen-puss (Whole family were there for the PTS. Still have that letter, bless her. And then there was my Cloggy-dog, aged 19, rescued at 3 months. My son couldn`t remember a time before he was around, he insisted on digging the grave himself before we went to the vets, and took his `poorly blanket` to bring Cloggy home in. Cloggy was in the back of the car, and the vet came out to the car, save disturbing him more, and for consideration of my son and me & Hubby. Then there was my Benny-dog, huge old black cross-breed hairy mutt, he had a stroke, didn`t improve, didn`t even want cat-food that was his greatest vice.. Lifted him into the back of estate car, vet came out and did the PTS, dog trying to lick chocolate (all he reacted to by then)off my hand as he went out. Perfect end. No manhandling, no stress. Tears later. I remember the now senior partner first arriving there, remember him getting married, first baby etc, and that baby is now a young Physio who was on our ward on placement - a total STAR like his dad - I happily admit that I have more faith in/more feeling of continuity with the family vets than with the family doctor - if I could get treated by the vet rather than my GP I would! Sagaris I`m so glad for your good news, other folks- shop around, it`s easier to shop around for a decent vet than to change GP`s!

Jariya -sound like you`ve been a real star, but your lodger hasn`t had the support she should have had/needed, sounds like you did your best but it shouldn`t have been left to you. Bipolar Disorder isn`t easy to deal with, especially without at least some CPN (Community Psych.Nurse) back-up - as a mere landlady rather than next-of-kin you wouldn`t have had leave to call on this support, I suppose. Sounds like you did well to last out a couple of years, so you have nothing to reproach yourself about.
Motivation? Jariya just think you are Well and sane and you will get through this, this awful aftermath. Just don`t let it prejudice you against folks with a mental health issue, but maybe just not as lodgers...we all have enough to do to motivate ourselves at times.Take encouragement where you can (here is a GOOD place for that!) do a bit at a time, you`ll get there, you`ll get through it. Temper kindness with caution before you take on another lodger. You are wiser already.

Horace- depression isn`t so bad if there`s a fair reason for it -this sounds daft, but not daft really! You can at least see why it`s happening even if you can`t YET sort it out. That`s the light at the end of the tunnel. Bluebag is absolutely right, sound nutrition is really important, it doesn`t have to be costly, and getting into a routine of cooking /looking after yourself is a really helpful thing to do. Do the routine thing.

optimistic

Dear Frugal sending you hugs. It is so hard losing loved ones, especially parents, having lost both of mine I really feel for you. Do give your children a big hug and love them, they will be feeling low too; but do take it easy with sorting their rooms and as been said earlier here, small steps and lots of breaks - tea is good!
Take care.

LINKYPIE2009

Only just started reading this thread as I too am a 'messie'....still got loads to read but just wanted to send all of you who need or want a massive hug xxx

craftygranny

Aww huge hugs to all you messies.

I've had a day off today and done nothing except run round after grandkids and cook. But i do plan to start cleaning and chucking again tomorrow. On a positive note i am about 3 boxes away from sorting and moving all my craft stuff I have filled 3 huge boxes with craft stuff to go.I started with around 50 to unpack and when the last ones are unpacked i'm going to go through the lot again and be ruthless enough to get rid of some more.

Natlie hope you and the baby are ok.

ex trolly hope things are looking up for you too.

Fruball

Thanks for your lovely words

Well, I have achieved a bit this evening - the DDs room is a thousand times better than it was, just a few finishing touches to do to that and a pile of washing! Kitchen half done, living room half done, hallway half done... Story of my life!!!

Also, ordered a lovely big basket of scented flowers for Dad's funeral on Tuesday. Didn't go down the traditional wreath route as we thought it would be nice for the patients at the care home to enjoy them after, without them knowing they were funeral flowers

Still got lots to do tomorrow but having been busy all evening, its time to pour a glass of wine and catch up on some TV

xx

bluebag

Frugal wrote: »

I wonder how many of us on this thread are suffering with depression. I have suffered on and off for years and am at a pretty low place right how having had my fiance leave me a few days before my Dad dying just over a week ago.

My house is in a dreadful state although I have made a few steps to get it sorted.

My DDs have been away with their Dad as i've not been coping and I promised them their room would be sorted by the time they get back - I now have less than 24 hours to get it sorted and tomorrow I am going to visit my Dad to say a last goodbye

So... In a few minutes I will have to go up there and just crack on with it - no choice.

Hugs to all those who need them, and having read a few of the last pages, that is quite a lot of you (((hugs)))

Frugal that's a lot to bear all at once. Don't worry about the room I'm sure they will understand. You need time to take the slow path to recovery from grief. It can't be forced.

Be kind to yourself just now, may god walk with you.

Fruball

bluebag wrote: »

Frugal that's a lot to bear all at once. Don't worry about the room I'm sure they will understand. You need time to take the slow path to recovery from grief. It can't be forced.

Be kind to yourself just now, may god walk with you.

Thanks BB xx

MummyEm

I did a carboot with sis yesterday. Only made about £30 after cost of pitch/tea/coffee/greasy food!! but was a good laugh, got rid of a box worth of junk and bought kids a new toy out of that too.

Today want to clear up the house. Need to

-clean the hall and lounge (I didn't get around to them last week.)
-clean cloakroom
-tidy + hoover through upstairs
-hoover through downstairs
-wash hoover filter
-washing (lots to do inc. spare bed bedding + towels)
-Bleach sink
-Reorganise playroom (couple of big toys to move upstairs, some to come down)
-mealplan for the week
-shopping list from mealplan (keep as low cost as poss, kids away later in week so should be doable)
-ebay 5 items (determined to clear the conservatory by end of Sep, there are boxes and boxes full of stuff to be ebayed in there. Anything not gone by then will the CS. I will ebay 5 a day until all gone. Then my wardrobe needs clearing out too...)
-Ironing (do all of it! Spent 5 hours in 3 days ironing last week to clear the 4 piles, need to keep on top of it now so will do all ironing generated by the washing today)

Good luck tidying/cleaning/decluttering today messies x