My home is a mess

dibuzz

I think the busy week has caught up with me, I havent got the energy to do anything.

We picked the car up yesterday, it's so quiet after his noisy diesel that he is having a few problems getting used to it but he will be fine. He doesn't enjoy driving and after getting the old car 4 years ago he hasn't driven anything else.
I nipped to the post office in it earlier and it felt ok but I will miss the old Golf, Steff's final journey was in that car and I taught my youngest 2 to drive in it so I have good and bad memories of it.

I'm going to miss my son next week, he is a great help to me especially when I'm struggling with things.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Sunday afternoon already....

Dibuzz, I always found the worst thing about changing the car was forgetting I had - searching the supermarket carpark looking for the old one!!

Well, I`ve managed to get a fair bit done.
Paperwork sorted, shredding/recycling bag out for tomorrow and important stuff ready to hand for next week.
I thawed and slow-cooked some oxtail for tonight - I`ve never cooked oxtail before, I chickened out and put it in the freezer a few weeks ago after I`d bought it (YS!) It smells good, lots of thick gravy, should be nice with carrots & leeky mash.
I also `decluttered` into the gravy a third of a bottle of red wine that DS found leftover after his GF`s visit, and the bottle is out for recycling.

DGD & I didn`t get round to making the chocolate pud as we binged on biscuits with Philly cheese that needed using, but we DID clear 3 large shelves in her room, and temporarily dismantled them.
Now I can get to her windowsill as a result (it`s a big bay window & the sill is piled with stuff!!) I`ve already cleared some stuff, the obvious junk, but as her mum collected her a bit early today I really don`t want to sling anything that DGD considers `treasure`. She`s a great lass, and it is her space after all - I`d just like her to have more of it!
I`ve sorted out a box to put the rest in so she can check it next weekend, and during the week I intend to clean windowsill and windows inside and out (it`s a ground floor room) and make her some new nets as the ones up are beyond washing!!

I`m reasonably pleased with progress so far and with plans to aim for.
Hope everyone`s had a nice weekend. x

dibuzz

Emm-in-a-pickle wrote: »

Sunday afternoon already....

Dibuzz, I always found the worst thing about changing the car was forgetting I had - searching the supermarket carpark looking for the old one!!

Especially when the old one was dark green with silver duct tape holding up the passenger window :rotfl:
I'm half expecting a call just after 5 tomorrow asking what his reg is.

We've been to the pub for dinner then the garden centre and B&Q. My mum has treated me to a new lightweight mower so I need some sun now to dry the grass then I can try it.
I've done a fair bit of driving around today and had no problems with the clutch, I can't drive my mum's or daughter's car for long but this one seems fine.

YORKSHIRELASS

Glad to hear you are nearly at the end of the treatment Emm.

I may need to say this quietly but I am fairly on top of things. Paperwork for voluntary job is mostly done and needs to be finished tomorrow, and I am doing nicely with job number 2. There is a bit of laundry to do and a bit of dust and fluff/dog hairs here and there but nothing too terrible.

OH has finally got my shelves put up in our office so its looking much better in there, if nothing else I have been able to take the lever arch files off the floor and put them on the shelves!

I have made myself a bit of a promise to try and get a bit more exercise. My little dog is refusing to go very far on our daily walks - and I think its because we do the same 2 or 3 routes and he is bored. I used to put him in the car and go to different places now and again but we have got out of the habit.

Oh, Dibuzz, sorry to be talking about dogs, hope that wasnt being insensitive, I still think about you and yours x

Right off to empty the dishwasher and put another load of washing in.

dibuzz

It's fine, I still find it hard but life goes on for the other doggies.
I have had a couple of moments where I've thought about another dog but Steff was special and I could never find another dog like her, it would feel like I was replacing her like you would a lost or broken object. She was more than just a dog to me, she was my best and only real friend.
It's hard not having her here to talk to and cry with when I need her but I know it was the right time for her.
It would have been easier if she had been more ill I think, she was obviously uncomfortable the last couple of days but still her lively self and the vet said how hard it was to put her to sleep with her jumping all over her and wagging her tail like mad.
Maybe if I could turn the clock back I would have another couple of days with her but then again she could have deteriorated quickly and I may not have had the choice of which vet was there at the end which was very important to me.
It's getting easier to look at photos of her but I think it will always feel like a bit of me is missing.
And to think I wasn't even that keen on getting a dog, if we hadn't been burgled I probably wouldn't have been persuaded.

YORKSHIRELASS

dibuzz wrote: »

Maybe if I could turn the clock back I would have another couple of days with her but then again she could have deteriorated quickly and I may not have had the choice of which vet was there at the end which was very important to me.

Oh it must be so hard for you, but at the time you knew it was the right thing to do and you just have to remember that. You had her interests at heart all the time.

As for another dog, I think you will just decide when the time is right. I am sure you could give a rescue dog a fantastic home in time but its still early days.

When my parents had their dog pts it was a long time before I could go in their house without looking around for her.

dibuzz

I still have times I look for her and my eldest son goes straight to the front room when he comes in then walks out again before going upstairs. She used to love his cuddles when he came home from work.
If I ever got another dog it would be another rescue staffy but it's a long way off even thinking about yet.
I still haven't disposed of her food and treats even though we could use the space. I did give the postman some of the long flat treats, he always carries them in his bag and if he had to knock would give her one.
One day she was in the hall and barked as he put the post in the box on the wall so he posted one through the letter box for her.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi Messies!

YL, well done on keeping on top of things and finally getting your shelves up - we`re missing DGD`s shelves already because when I find her stuff while she`s not here that`s where I put things - they`ll go back up after I sort the window area though.

Dibuzz, was Steffi your first dog? Whether she was or not, you are quite right feeling that no other dog could take her place.
They are like people, with different personalities. When you do decide to have another dog, and I think you will (I hope so because you`ve been such a brilliant owner it would be such a waste of a loving home for a mutt who needs one) you`ll find its personality and little ways will soon reach your heart, so keep it open - it`s early days hun, but you will know when you`re ready.

Well, Chez-Emm ....
One more day to go!!! I`ve bought some chocs and a card for the radiographers, hope I remember them in the morning as it`s a helluva long way to go back just to deliver them! The blitzed area is quite pink but not sore up to now - they`ve told me the skin reaction continues developing for 7-10 days after the end of treatment, so I`m still having to slap the e45 on and hope for the best.
I`ve emptied the windowsill in DGD`s room and taken the curtains down - the light is dazzling, and I`ve not cleaned the windows yet!! Dunno why I`ve bothered but I`ve put the `net` curtains in WM. They`re muslin, so if they haven`t fallen to bits and aren`t fit to re-hang they should come in useful as cleaning cloths.
I`m making Broccoli & Stilton soup tonight, with a couple of little bacon chops to dip, so that`s nice and simple after last night`s oxtail that took ages (though it was very nice, and I`ve frozen the leftover gravy so that`s a bit less freezer space again.....)

Have a nice evening all. x

dibuzz

No Steff was my 3rd dog but I never felt as much love for the others although I did love them. I got my first dog when I was 13, a black cocker spaniel. By the time I left home 12 years later she was going blind so we decided to leave her with my mum rather than uproot her. She still had a good life and loved to wander round the garden so moving her to a house with a small back yard would have been cruel.
We had only been married a week when we decided to get our own dog (Ella) who we had for 12 years. She became incontinent and was doing her business in our beds then started to snap and bit my youngest son so we had her put to sleep. It was hard but nothing like it has been with Steff.
I think with Ella I didn't have the same time as I had 4 young kids and never got much help from my then other half so I didn't grow to love her in the same way.
Steff has helped me through a lot over the last few years so losing her was almost like losing one of the kids although that does sound a bit wierd but it's the way I feel.

Emm-in-a-pickle

We had a black spaniel when I was young too! She was a foul-tempered dog all her life, and she got worse when I left home to start nursing training because my mum spoiled her even more then!
Since then I`ve had many dogs, sometimes up to 3 at a time if they were desperate for a home. I admit that though I truly loved them all, some were just so special I couldn`t help loving them more - and missing them worse too. We lost my big old hairy lad 6 years ago, and I just ached for ages even though we had Dafty-dog at the time, she was younger then and she missed him too, I think we just tried to console each other.
I wasn`t really intending to have another dog when we had Littly, but my son knew the folks and they were getting desperate so I gave in. It`s quite funny the way it`s worked out...she settled in nicely, we all love her cute ways even though I`m not really a small dog enthusiast. But the one member of the household she seems to adore the most is OH, and this has never happened to him before! They had a couple of dogs when he was small but they were working dogs and he wasn`t encouraged to play with them or fuss them, then later it was only `other people`s dogs`then when we got together my dogs, that he knew. At first, he was quite embarrassed at Littly`s devotion, and denied he was her favourite human, but now he`s daft about her and it`s lovely, it`s like she`s filled a gap he didn`t know was there. Sounds like that`s what your Steffi did, Dibuzz, so it doesn`t sound daft at all how you`re feeling now. It will ease as time passes, but it`s hard right now. ((HUGS))

Well, that`s my last radiotherapy session over this morning.
Bit of anti-climax feeling really. I can now use deodorant again, and have a lie-in tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I should get on with sorting DGD`s window...but it`s grey, wet & gloomy here and I haven`t got myself in the mood yet.....
Have to nip out for milk as I didn`t stop on the way home today....