Sod's Law - Part 1 & 2

FatVonD

Stay put in the job you're in now, if you think your emotions are all of a roller coaster at the moment wait until you're around 6 months

Seriously, you don't need to be taking on new challenges right now, sit back in a job you can do with your hands tied behind your back, enjoy your extended maternity leave and most of all enjoy your time with your baby

pinkshoes

There is NEVER a good time to have a baby.

I hated my job due to all the bullying, so was feeling very smug when I landed myself with a company that seemed to respect its employees. I'd been VERY stressed with work, so despite being on the pill, being a few days late was normal with stress. I took a pregnancy test anyway just to rule it out, and was horrified to see two lines... EEEEEK!

I decided to pull out of the new job, and told them my reason for doing this was due to discovering I was pregnant. I felt it was unfair on them (quite a small company), and unfair on me (lack of maternity pay). I actually got a call a few months later saying they were appreciative of my honest, and would I be interested in joining their company once my maternity leave was over! DS is now 5 months, so I may be getting back in touch with them soon...

You don't NEED to be near your family. My parents live the other side of the country, but they get to see DS frequently on Skype. I'd say you should stay in Australia, and enjoy life.

Blue_Monkey

annakat99 wrote: »

Hi Blue Monkey,
I don't normally post on here... but your story has really struck a cord with me. We're emigrating to New Zealand in 2 months time and I can see myself in avery similar situation to you a couple of years down the line - pregnant on the other side of the world and wondering what to do.

Having not been in that situation, I have no real words of advice, I guess there's no right answer, so go with your gut feeling. Whatever you do, I'm sure you'll make it will work out for the best.

One thing I can say is that I have a friend who had hr baby before the rest of her mates and with her parents out of the country, and she's found masses of support (and a whole new social network) through pregnancy classes / toddler groups etc etc... I don't think you're ever completely alone unless you let yourself be.

Good luck, I hope everything falls into place soon.
x

Thanks for your note. Moving to a new country is very exciting - I hope it all works out well for you!

I turned 30 after being here for a couple of weeks and had a freak out (shouldn't we be settling down rather than running to the other side of the world?). I had a totally unfounded fear of being unable to conceive easily :cool: so was worried about waiting until we returned home and being an old mum...

I'm sure I would find friends through baby groups etc, but I do worry about my family's reaction to the fact that I will have to have chosen the job over going home to them (ie I need to decide on the job next week, 12 week scan and the 'announcement' won't be for another 6 weeks).

OH isn't helping to be honest. He's said he doesn't want to go home and I'm a bit cross with him for sulking about it. I'm thinking about all this in what will be best, he's still thinking about what he wants. To be fair, we've always been able to do what we want - up to now - so I guess it's quite a bit change in mindset....

Blue_Monkey

FatVonD wrote: »

Stay put in the job you're in now, if you think your emotions are all of a roller coaster at the moment wait until you're around 6 months

Seriously, you don't need to be taking on new challenges right now, sit back in a job you can do with your hands tied behind your back, enjoy your extended maternity leave and most of all enjoy your time with your baby

Eek, well, this is kind of what I'm thinking - is now the right time to be throwing myself into a new job? I feel exhausted emotionally at the moment due to all the decision making; not so much physically but I expect that will come and I'm a bit worried about overdoing it...

And your last sentence really strikes a chord........... Thanks.

Blue_Monkey

pinkshoes wrote: »

There is NEVER a good time to have a baby.

I hated my job due to all the bullying, so was feeling very smug when I landed myself with a company that seemed to respect its employees. I'd been VERY stressed with work, so despite being on the pill, being a few days late was normal with stress. I took a pregnancy test anyway just to rule it out, and was horrified to see two lines... EEEEEK!

I decided to pull out of the new job, and told them my reason for doing this was due to discovering I was pregnant. I felt it was unfair on them (quite a small company), and unfair on me (lack of maternity pay). I actually got a call a few months later saying they were appreciative of my honest, and would I be interested in joining their company once my maternity leave was over! DS is now 5 months, so I may be getting back in touch with them soon...

You don't NEED to be near your family. My parents live the other side of the country, but they get to see DS frequently on Skype. I'd say you should stay in Australia, and enjoy life.

Sounds like things have worked out great - that's really cool!

Staying in Australia longer-term never was our plan... But taking the job does mean committing to this country for at least another 18 months. We've settled in ok and we like our lives here, but we're not emotionally attached yet, so leaving won't break my heart. It's just better for work and money...

This type of role is more common in London, so the same opportunity might exist there (after mat leave).

rachel6188

Huni theres the baby bonus in Aus I think. Theres a aus forum im on pm me if you want the info. Its for TTC and pregnancy x

Blue_Monkey

rachel6188 wrote: »

Huni theres the baby bonus in Aus I think. Theres a aus forum im on pm me if you want the info. Its for TTC and pregnancy x

Thanks, but I'm not eligible for it as a temporary resident.....

belfastgirl23

Would any of the parents consider relocating to oz for six months or so to help you out? Just a bit of lateral thinking, ignore if it sounds crazy - obviously would only work if any were retired and particularly fancied a bit of time abroad...

Blue_Monkey

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Would any of the parents consider relocating to oz for six months or so to help you out? Just a bit of lateral thinking, ignore if it sounds crazy - obviously would only work if any were retired and particularly fancied a bit of time abroad...

:eek: I think this would drive me and OH insane!!! To be able to afford it, they would need to stay with us - they've all been for a visit over the past few months and 2 weeks was enough!

I had considered asking my mum to come out for the birth if we stayed, but that would be more for her benefit than ours and actually this is about me, OH and our baby and I think it's important that the 3 of us get some quality time on our own right at the beginning. I had also thought of asking mum to come for a few weeks in Jan perhaps when OH goes back to work after his Xmas break... But I think this would be a double-edged sword as a) she'd still have to stay with us, and b) if I am to make friends with other mummies, having my mum around might not be conducive to that... dunno.

Plans_all_plans

If I were in your shoes, I'd stay in my current job and not put any additional stress on myself by changing roles etc. I would also be seriously thinking about returning to the UK to be nearer family.

However, a career - and all that goes with it - is not really my cup of tea! I much prefer being at home, looking after our daughter and my husband is very supportive of this. Good luck.