New here, at the end of my tether

joeblack066

Hi. I have been lurking awhile, which seems to be how everyone starts on here, but I am really feeling it now.

I am a single parent, but my 16 yr old has left school. and is working part time, and my 9 yr olds Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit gets claimed by her dad, even tho she spends more time with me. There were domestic violence issues so I can't/ daren't change things.

I earn enough to pay my normal bills, but have outstanding debts plus a car finance that I can't manage. I was doing fine for a while, even bought a house, but then my partner moved in, moved his family in, walked from his job and I spent 3 months supporting 10 people off one wage! I finally kicked him out when he lied about having a job to go to. I rented out my house (the mortgage was too high for me alone) moved to a smaller rented proerty, but I am saddled with debts from when I was supporting us all, debts HE ran up on a mobile (in my name) and this car finance that was supposed to be paid between us that of course I am now left with.

I also am still paying debts from my previous marriage (my 9 yr olds dad) as he doesn't work so its down to me and I seem to be getting deeper into a mess every day. I am not sleeping, I am worried all the time. I have been working 2 jobs (50-60 hrs a week) to get some cash together, but I have a health condition that is made worse by this so I have cut dwon again

I know I need to post an SOA, and I will as soon as I get time.

Am thinking about Pay Plan, just needing some initial advice I suppose.

Thanks in advance....Debs.

Brassic

Oh dear - it sounds like you are having a really awful time of it ((Hug)) Well done for posting here first off - you've taken a huge step in the right direction and will find loads of support and good advice on here.

I can't offer much advice without seeing your SOA - but it does sound to me like a trip to the CAB is in order about your eejit of an ex, followed by a phone call to CCCS (they don't charge for their advice and for setting up a dmp).

Anyway - good luck with it all, and keep your chin up!

peskie_pixie

:hello: Hi debs

Sorry to here you're having such a !!!!!! time at the mo, but well done for posting on here. They'll be plenty of support and advice to follow, especially once you've posted your SOA.

Can't really expand much on what Brassic recommends so far. But will keep dipping into your thread to see if i can add my 2 penneth.

Chin up, and you're in the right place :grouphug:

oops_a_daisy

Hi Joeblack - cant add anything that hasnt already been said but just to wish you luck and will keep looking in too to see how you are getting on.

All the best - OOPS

peskie_pixie

Justing bumping this so it doesn't get lost

Imelda

Hi JoeBlack,

Well done for posting on here, it's not always easy!

The only thing that sticks out to me is the car, could you sell it to pay off the finance?

saintly_2

who has the car your ex or yourself?? if you have it you could give it back to the finance company if you have paid over half!

Pobby

Debs sorry about the really difficult time you are going through.You are one,strong lady.You say you have a home that you are renting out.Do you have much equity in it?Maybe,just a thought,if you sold it and released any profits from it this would maybe ease your situation.Well done for posting.

woohoo_postingid

Who is the main carer of your 9 year old? That is the person who is entitled to the child tax credit and child benefit. If she lives with you then a simple phone call to the tax credits office can get this sorted.

dancingfairy

Just wanted to say hi. You really are having a tough time of it aren't you. Hang on in there and we'll try and help you out. Just wanted to say good luck really.

joeblack066

Hi again and thanks so far! I know I can't do much without an SOA but I am going to do it tomorrow when I have some time/ privacy.

Car is mine, HP so can't sell it, haven't paid half so can't hand it back.

I know that I could sort the tax credit thing but the thing is I am scared of him and the waves it would create. He used to bad-mouth me all the time to my daughter, he has stopped now but I know that he would start again if I changed anything. He spends the money on beer tho, while it's me who buys her clothes etc.

The house is a complicated one. When my last relationship broke up I needed to get out of it qhuick as I couldn't afford the mortgage, but it had taken so much to get back on the housing ladder that I wanted to try to hang on to it. I leased it to a Housing Association for 10 years, I will give you the figures on the SOA. I have thought about selling it, the equity would be approx 25 - 30 k , there is a lock in , not sure bout this one. Need LOTS of advice when have posted SOA.

Thanks for saying I am strong........I have had to fight so much in my life that I sometimes wonder if I have any fight left in me at all..............then along came this site! Just the support that I have READ on here has helped.

Will post SOA tomorrow, and thanks again, Debs x:rudolf: