£5 per year?!!

floralaura

Having a 'Dad' who bothers with you when it suits him which is once a year at most for a day, not ringing you cause 60p is too much for a phone call, who has missed 8 birthdays and Christmases and you are only 9, who has never contributed to your up-bringing, has admitted the 4 kids he's spawned since are more important that you..yeah cause that's going to make my Son happy.
From the day we spilt I encouraged the ex to keep contact..tried my hardest to keep it amicable but he is as abusive out the relationship as he was in it.
I don't need to find my Baby a daddy as it was put..I was actually single and not interested in Men for a good few years after splitting and was both Mum and Dad to my Son. I then met Cycloneuk that posted in here and we have lived as a family for 4 years now and have a Baby together and he is more of a Dad to my Son than my ex has ever or will ever be. To the point where my Son has asked to be adopted by my partner and wants his last name too. The ex does not have parental responsibility for my Son so could not 'keep' him and to be honest hes that carp he wouldn't bother abducting my Son as he would not want the responsibility of looking after him!
I had never bad mouthed the ex to my Son until my Ex himself told my Son about court, so now he knows that his Dad thinks he is worth £5 per year, how would that make you feel? Your Dad would rather buy pet food for his zoo of pets than give money for your up-brining? He himslef has said that he does not want to talk to his Dad now, hes 9, he has his own opinion and its not a high one of my ex! I tried to be civil and sort it out of court and ex wouldnt give me a penny..so now if he wants to see DS then hes very welcome to go to court, prove his worth get proper visiting set out and then keep to it. If you think that whats right for my Son is leaving him to wonder when and if he will see his Dad again is good for him then shame on you.
I will be appealing this order if I am able to as I think if you are Man enough to produce a child in a relationship then you should damn well support them! I could not turn around and declare that ur income is not enough and that from now on I can only spend £5 per year on brining my Child up so why the hell do people think this is acceptable for a absent father to do?!!!

floralaura

DX2 wrote: »

Way it go! Well done top marks, you have told your 9 year old child that daddy is only going to pay £5 a year child support, nothing amazes on MSE anymore. A child doesn't need to know this information! especially one so young.

Actually Daddy told my Son about court, not me..and the lack of manners on here no longer amazes me.

DX2

Oozing spite from ever pore, such a sad sad case indeed.

mrsspendalot

It's nothing to do with lack of manners .... the board is for advice about child support ..... you're rarely going to find anyone who thinks stopping an absent parent from seeing their children is acceptable, just like you'll rarely find anyone saying that an absent parent not paying for their children is acceptable.

You've come on here asking for advice about your REMO case, advice has been given that even though the amount is really rubbish, if that is all has been assessed there is little you can do about it. That is no different to parents moaning nil assessments are unfair, or £5 per week is unfair. If they are based on accurate facts, then there is nothing more that can be done. What you won't find on this board is people saying you're right to stop contact between a child and their father.

I completely understand your anger and frustration, and yes he seems like a really crappy father, but you're not going to be able to change that. No amount of getting angry, bitter or venting your frustration is going to make a dad who isn't bothered about his child any more bothered. I would just move on. You clearly have a wonderful partner and he clearly thinks a lot of your son. I would plough more time into making sure your son knows who does love and care for him, rather than dwelling on who doesn't. He won't be the first child in the world to grow up with a closer relationship to his step-dad than his real one. When he's older he'll appreciate who did for him.

floralaura

DX2 wrote: »

Oozing spite from ever pore, such a sad sad case indeed.

I totally agree, though its not your fault. Maybe you could have a wash and see if you can get any of the spite to come off?

DX2

floralaura wrote: »

I had never bad mouthed the ex to my Son until my Ex himself told my Son about court, so now he knows that his Dad thinks he is worth £5 per year, how would that make you feel?

He managed to do this with his one yearly visit with his child if the child just happens to be at the grand parents house, as you have clearly stated he doesn't phone or have any other contact. So your ex knew the outcome before you did

DX2

floralaura wrote: »

I totally agree, though its not your fault. Maybe you could have a wash and see if you can get any of the spite to come off?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: You will be bathing in bleach for a long time before you are clean love.

floralaura

DX2 wrote: »

He managed to do this with his one yearly visit with his child if the child just happens to be at the grand parents house, as you have clearly stated he doesn't phone or have any other contact. So your ex knew the outcome before you did

He knew he was in court as he was there himself (which helps) so obviously the ex knew what happened before I did. He then on a phone call to my Son in January this year told him he had been in court. Then DS wanted to know the outcome. He was told the outcome today when I found out.
You really are a strange person.
Obviously with a guilty conscience for something.
am off to bed now. Sweet dreams Love.

HappyMJ

floralaura wrote: »

Having a 'Dad' who bothers with you when it suits him which is once a year at most for a day, not ringing you cause 60p is too much for a phone call, who has missed 8 birthdays and Christmases and you are only 9, who has never contributed to your up-bringing, has admitted the 4 kids he's spawned since are more important that you..yeah cause that's going to make my Son happy.
From the day we spilt I encouraged the ex to keep contact..tried my hardest to keep it amicable but he is as abusive out the relationship as he was in it.
I don't need to find my Baby a daddy as it was put..I was actually single and not interested in Men for a good few years after splitting and was both Mum and Dad to my Son. I then met Cycloneuk that posted in here and we have lived as a family for 4 years now and have a Baby together and he is more of a Dad to my Son than my ex has ever or will ever be. To the point where my Son has asked to be adopted by my partner and wants his last name too. The ex does not have parental responsibility for my Son so could not 'keep' him and to be honest hes that carp he wouldn't bother abducting my Son as he would not want the responsibility of looking after him!
I had never bad mouthed the ex to my Son until my Ex himself told my Son about court, so now he knows that his Dad thinks he is worth £5 per year, how would that make you feel? Your Dad would rather buy pet food for his zoo of pets than give money for your up-brining? He himslef has said that he does not want to talk to his Dad now, hes 9, he has his own opinion and its not a high one of my ex! I tried to be civil and sort it out of court and ex wouldnt give me a penny..so now if he wants to see DS then hes very welcome to go to court, prove his worth get proper visiting set out and then keep to it. If you think that whats right for my Son is leaving him to wonder when and if he will see his Dad again is good for him then shame on you.
I will be appealing this order if I am able to as I think if you are Man enough to produce a child in a relationship then you should damn well support them! I could not turn around and declare that ur income is not enough and that from now on I can only spend £5 per year on brining my Child up so why the hell do people think this is acceptable for a absent father to do?!!!

None of us think that £5 per year is the right amount or acceptable amount but the CSA does. I'm sure the calculation they used is correct. Sometimes it will be almost nothing and as you've said he has 4 other kids so the money is spread very thinly. I wouldn't waste your time on appeals. I know you are fuming with the order but that's the way things are.

What does he earn? I've worked out if he earns £300 per week which a self employed plasterer would most likely earn then his child support responsibilities would be 25% of his take home salary. In the UK that would be £244 after tax and 25% is £61 per week. He has 5 kids so the responsibility to each one is £12.20 per week which corresponds with the £50 per month you were asking for. He can deduct the 1 way trip of returning to the UK I'm assuming he's deducted 4 trips so £157.25*4= £629 (even though you say it's only once per year). That makes a £5 per year award.

I wouldn't bother appealing and just accept the £5 per year for now.

DX2

floralaura wrote: »

He knew he was in court as he was there himself (which helps) so obviously the ex knew what happened before I did. He then on a phone call to my Son in January this year told him he had been in court. Then DS wanted to know the outcome. He was told the outcome today when I found out.
You really are a strange person.
Obviously with a guilty conscience for something.
am off to bed now. Sweet dreams Love.

So you did tell him then :doh: a 9 year old doesn't need to know these things, you are not going to tell me a 9 year old remembered exactly when the court case was going to happen.
No guilt here love

I quiet like strange better than patting you on the back.