how to deal with one upmanship from friends?

split_second

Bazey wrote: »

just moved in together....I see!!

do you and your buddy get to hook up alone or without partners at least?? If he is a good friend then perhaps you should have a quiet word when she is not around and tell him you find her behaviour challenging...

some people don't realise how off putting their behaviour can be, and would be grateful for someone to discretely tell them...:cool:;)

everywhere he is, she is. if she is on nights then the group dont meet up, he has chores to do (seriously)

my girlfriend is the most lovely laidback person ever (although she batters me on the wii haha), he would probably say something like it was how women are (even though i am 5 years older and i know he is wrong)

Plans_all_plans

To be honest, the only thing she's said that would have got to me was the holiday comment "I could afford that".

You should've put her down with a "well it's a shame he hasn't invited you then, eh?" response.

The proposing thing, well after 4 years together, she's within her rights in my opinion! She's clearly looking at it from a "he needs to p1ss or get off the pot" angle!

The John Lewis table comment, it depends how it was said really. If it was just a "got this nice table from John Lewis the other day" I don't see anything wrong in that. If it was "look at our incredibly expensive J.L table", then that's annoying.

If it's getting to you and your other friends though, the next time you meet up and she starts on, I'd just say "Do we have to talk about your earnings/house/table every time we see you, it gets quite boring after a while! We all know you're doing well for yourself and are happy for you, but we all think this focus on money is vulgar really."

shop-to-drop

It's immature. Ignore it. Shows how shallow they are and will probably result in them splitting up as the relationship probably doesn't go very deep. Whatever you do don't feel pressured into spending money to keep up with them.

split_second

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

To be honest, the only thing she's said that would have got to me was the holiday comment "I could afford that".

You should've put her down with a "well it's a shame he hasn't invited you then, eh?" response.

The proposing thing, well after 4 years together, she's within her rights in my opinion! She's clearly looking at it from a "he needs to p1ss or get off the pot" angle!

The John Lewis table comment, it depends how it was said really. If it was just a "got this nice table from John Lewis the other day" I don't see anything wrong in that. If it was "look at our incredibly expensive J.L table", then that's annoying.

If it's getting to you and your other friends though, the next time you meet up and she starts on, I'd just say "Do we have to talk about your earnings/house/table every time we see you, it gets quite boring after a while! We all know you're doing well for yourself and are happy for you, but we all think this focus on money is vulgar really."

with the table its definitely the latter :rotfl:

when it came to proposing he wanted a long engagement and she wouldnt let him have one, the embarassing part was that every phone conversation in front of him she would mention it, every visit to one of us, everytime we went out etc, thats why it got annoying.

everyone in the group has noticed it to be honest and my best friend and his fiance have got so sick of it they have taken to avoiding them and wont invite them to their wedding (where i am best man)

split_second

shop-to-drop wrote: »

It's immature. Ignore it. Shows how shallow they are and will probably result in them splitting up as the relationship probably doesn't go very deep. Whatever you do don't feel pressured into spending money to keep up with them.

its funny when they come to mine, i'm waiting for them to compliment something of mine that was really cheap :rotfl:

onlyroz

Could be worse - they could be like my mum, who prides herself on bragging about how cheap everything she buys is. In particular "Here's some wine for Christmas - I got it from the Co-op on buy-one-get-one-free". Erm thanks, mum...

barbiedoll

Next time they come round, have this playing on the computer...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHo2pXO_XAI


:rotfl::rotfl:

Nottoobadyet

split_second wrote: »

i found out what that was the other night :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

i'm male btw

Even better! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I just hope you arent still around to listen when shes bragging about the huge settlement she got out of the divorce!

the_cat

split_second wrote: »

we only get told about something if its bigger or better than what anyone else has lol

Sounds like a case of trying to 'prove' her worth by sniping at others and therefore making herself appear in some way better than you. Sad really, with self-esteem that low she is going to be miserable..................... and most likely, friendless unless she packs it in;)

meritaten

I think its insecurity too. Or like my mother - who doesnt believe in 'bargains'! her favourite saying is 'You get what you pay for'! she will only tell you the price of something if she thinks you will be impressed that it is 'Top Quality' and will 'Last Forever'! Being an MSEer, I get a real kick out of reminding her that her Expensive Washing Machine only lasted 3years 1month (and had to be 'fixed' countless times) compared to my bargain £199 one which has lasted 5 years and still going strong!
hun, dont get sucked in - these people are sad - a table is a table - does it matter if it is made from marble and pure gold against perspex and aluminium? both do the job and can please the eye!