LiT - starting from the beginning and rebuilding my life

life_in_termoil · 2 April 2011 at 11:22PM

Im starting a diary yet again!!! I just dont know whats wrong with me, my lifes a mess, my homes a mess and my finances are in a mess. I know what I need to do but I just cant/wont do it!!! Instead I sit on the laptop all day looking for ways to get out of my "mess" but when it comes to actually "doing" it then thats a whole different ball game!!!

Firstly a little about me, im 41 and a single mum with 4 kids, 3 teenagers at home and 1 who is at Uni and our new edition mr pup. I work part time in a local petrol station 24.5 hours a week and on average work an extra 14 hours overtime a month. I get paid monthly but get TC weekly. I have direct debits coming out at various times throughout the month and I struggle to keep on top of them. I rely mostly on benefits which is something im not proud of and I dont receive any maintenance for the kids. I havent had any help towards my rent for the past 2 almost 3 months and im finding it really hard but I have managed to pay my rent on time. Hopefully HB will be sorted out soon.

Roll back 15 years and it was a whole different story, I had no debt, had a great job and lived overseas. I didnt have to worry about bills as everything was taken from KHs wages, never budgeted, went on fancy holidays, had a wardrobe of designer clothes, new car every 3 years and had some savings. We were the perfect family! But behind closed doors life was totally different. My husband was abusive and violent towards me and our children so 3 years ago after 15 years of marriage I left the marital home and moved back to the UK bringing with us whatever we could fit into the car. My savings went on the deposit for a rented house, tv, furniture and general day to day living.

I was convinced I would be able to find a decent job that paid the same as what I was previously earning but how wrong was I! After 3 months of job hunting and watching my savings dwindle I took a job as a receptionist in a hotel. The hours were long, the wages were rubbish, commuting each day was a nightmare and I never saw my kids. I stuck it out for a year then I quit. I didnt have another job to go to so once again I survived on my savings. KH was paying me £400 a month maintenance which helped me out alot.

1 and a half years ago KH got himself a new girlfriend and things started to get out of hand. He told me that he had handed in his notice at work (he had to give 12 months notice) and that as he needed to find himself a home he wouldnt be able to pay me as much money so he cut the maintenance to £200 a month. But i had an income and could survive.

6 months ago KH left work and moved in with his GF. She is half his age with 2 young kids. I get no maintenance as he hasnt got a job and he doesnt claim any benefits. She is on income support but hasnt declared him as living with her. Then he dropped the bombshell, he said he hadnt been paying for the car and that it would probably be repossessed. I panicked, I needed my car to earn a living. I phoned the car finance company but they wouldnt tell me anything as it wasnt me who had the finance. I couldnt risk waking up one morning to find that the car had gone, I needed transport so with the last of my savings and a loan from bank of mum and dad I bought myself a new to me car. My old car is STILL sat on my drive and the MOT and tax have ran out.

I am now £8000 in debt with CC, catalogues and bank of mum and dad and I need to deal with it. At the moment im overspending by £100 a month which I am managing to do with the CC. I am hoping that once HB is sorted out I will be able to start to deal with my debts.

Anyway enough rambling I now need to compile an action plan and get debt busting!!

Hope I havent bored you too much

Thanks for reading
LiT x

life_in_termoil · 3 April 2011 at 12:50AM

Been on entitledto.com and worked out that I should get approx £535 a month HB and £74 CTB which will mean after everything is paid I should have excess cash to throw at my debts. As well as paying off the debt I want to put £50 away at least each month into a savings account as at the moment I have no emergency fund. BUT cant do this until I know for sure exactly how much HB I will actually receive.

I need to drastically cut down on the food shopping. I spend for the sake of spending not for necessity. This needs to stop. I get bored so I spend so I need to find away to relieve my boredom.

I also smoke!!! I need to stop!! Ive tried quitting on several occasions but due to lack of willpower I cave after a day!!!

Hummm

life_in_termoil · 3 April 2011 at 1:15AM

Debts - scarey as it is more than I thought!!!

Bank of mum and dad - £4000
CC1 - £200
CC2 - £360
DWP - £1684.08
Catalogue - £700
Moorcroft - £1200
Wescott - £474

Total debt = £8618.08 :eek:

monthly expenditure £1494.80 (includes rent, iinsurances, everything car related, all utility bills and minimum debt repayments but doesnt include food or clothing !!!)

Incoming
TC = £780
CB = £188
Wages = £649

TOTAL £1617

total left for food £122.20 per month!! No wonder the CC bill is rising ive been spending at least £120 a week on food!

Different_Corner · 3 April 2011 at 7:24AM

Hi Lit
Just wanted to say hi. Food shopping is one of my greatest downfalls, popping in for milk and coming out with £30 of what ?
Direct debits too - I hate them ! Part of me wants to go back to cash only, but I guess technology has put paid to that.

And the smoking...sigh.

I'm not much help but we're in the same financial boat

life_in_termoil · 3 April 2011 at 3:38PM

Hi DC

I dont know why I feel the need to stockpile so much food (which usually ends up being thrown away)
I dont know why I panic if I dont have any money in my purse
I panic if the car only has 1/4 tank of fuel
I love the security of money but its money thats NOT MINE!

life_in_termoil · 3 April 2011 at 4:17PM

Ive just found 3 weeks supply of nicotine patches so as soon as the cigarettes have gone then the patches are going on!!!

life_in_termoil · 3 April 2011 at 5:24PM

in an effort to use my store cupboard and avoid the shops i have decluttered a pack of beetroot, a block of chocolate and magically transformed it into a chocolate cake. Whether or not it will be scrummy is yet to be decided as it is still in the oven. Smells lovely though. Will see what the kids think of it later! (Just need to forget to tell them its got beetroot in it haha)

life_in_termoil · 4 April 2011 at 2:45AM

Financial
Sort out a budget and stick to it
Put money away each month/week for the following:-

Christmas and Birthday
Rent
savings
holiday
Bills
Shopping

Start chipping away at the debts

Home

Sort out the clutter
try to get into some kind of routine
get organised
only purchase what I need not what I want
delegate chores to the kids
meal plan and stick to it
fly the MSE way

Me

give up the cigs
take time out for me to find out who me really is
stop wasting time on things that arent necessary

Challenges

store cupboard challenge
PAD
virtual sealed pot challenge
no more clothes

welshcamper · 4 April 2011 at 9:36AM

morning

for quite a few years i was single parent to 4 and its quite hard work too lol, only 2 left at home now at home now lol.

have a look at the old style boards for meal planning and budgeting

Action Plan!!

Financial
Sort out a budget and stick to it
Put money away each month/week for the following:-

Christmas and Birthday

savings

holiday

this year in january i opened an isa, i am having my child benifit paid in there ( i only get it for one child) to try and have a back up if the car breaks and for christmas etc and i have assured myself i wont dip into it except for these resons.