please help

cher1977

Ok now its getting messy. Story so far is this.
This week my accounts were frozen because i have my mortgage with the same people i bank with. Fallen behind with mortgage payments and now have a default.
I was saving the money in my account to petition my own bankruptcy.
I have managed to get the money because it was benefits and have also now opened up another account elsewhere.
The problem is my ex husband who was on the mortgage has just rang me to say his accounts have been frozen and he has lost alot of money.

Now, i have been advised to go for repossession because that way i will be re-homed with my two children by the local council. The ex on the other hand has gone mad saying i should sell the house now so that he wont have this on his credit score for 6 years.
I explained to him if its sold then we would have delibretly made ourselves homeless and wont be re-homed.

Now what the heck do i do? This has happend 2 weeks to early, if i had another couple weeks i would have had the money together to pay for the court fees for bankruptcy. (

MichMoor

Do what you need to do regardless of your ex, you and your children come first.

Ineedaname

Is your new account a BR friendly Barclays Basic or Co-op Cashminder? If not then the new account could be frozen when you go BR.

Agree with Mich, your ex-husband is not your concer, you and your children are the priority here.

Stop paying all your debts if you haven't already and just keep saving, you're nearly there.

cher1977

its awful though i feel so guilty (
The account i opened was a Lloyds tsb basic account just for my benefits to be paid into.
I am long-term sick so cannot work but the only money that goes into the account is just the money to live on.

Its taken 4 years to get back to on speaking terms and now he is fuming.

intranicity

I personally think her ex possibly needs some consideration in this though, but agree the kids come first.

What were you arrangements with him regarding the home and maintenance etc, was this sorted in court?

Make sure you have a friendly bank account. Lloyds isn't a good choice, Co-op or Barclays are better

Before this happened, where you on decent terms with the ex, did he know the mortgage wasn't being paid, was he giving you his share of the mortgage etc, not saying you have, but have you dropped him in the poo?

cher1977

ex stopped paying anything towards mortgage over 4 years ago.
He owns 8% equity whilst he is on mortgage... decided in divorce.
he stayed on mortgage because we have a son together and since i stopped work the bank would not let me have it on my own.

The maintenance is paid voluntarily every 4 weeks for son, however obviously because this has happened i wont get any of the money.

Yes he knew it wasnt being paid, i told him a month ago to get some legal advice because i was going to petition my own bankruptcy.
Its only now that he has lost his money and they have frozen his accounts that he has taken notice.

I really do feel for him tho but i know i must do this to ensure my kids have a roof over there heads.

intranicity

cher1977 wrote: »

ex stopped paying anything towards mortgage over 4 years ago.
He owns 8% equity whilst he is on mortgage... decided in divorce.
he stayed on mortgage because we have a son together and since i stopped work the bank would not let me have it on my own.

The maintenance is paid voluntarily every 4 weeks for son, however obviously because this has happened i wont get any of the money.

Yes he knew it wasnt being paid, i told him a month ago to get some legal advice because i was going to petition my own bankruptcy.
Its only now that he has lost his money and they have frozen his accounts that he has taken notice.

I really do feel for him tho but i know i must do this to ensure my kids have a roof over there heads.

From a man's point of view, I think it serves him right, and you have warned him that the Mortgage isn't being paid, it's his problem that he's left his own accounts where they were. I'm actually surprised that they haven't been taking the money from his accounts to pay the Mortgage anyway...

Sounds like you need to get onto the Housing Association/Council and get there advice as to weather you would be OK to leave the house, not sure if they would deem you to have "delibretly made ourselves homeless" in this situation, but you need advice on this.

GET a proper friendly account sorted, and remember only 1/2 this debt is yours as he's still on the mortgage! What are your other debts out of interest?

Good luck and try and stay calm, for you and the kids

cher1977

intranicity wrote: »

From a man's point of view, I think it serves him right, and you have warned him that the Mortgage isn't being paid, it's his problem that he's left his own accounts where they were. I'm actually surprised that they haven't been taking the money from his accounts to pay the Mortgage anyway...

Sounds like you need to get onto the Housing Association/Council and get there advice as to weather you would be OK to leave the house, not sure if they would deem you to have "delibretly made ourselves homeless" in this situation, but you need advice on this.

GET a proper friendly account sorted, and remember only 1/2 this debt is yours as he's still on the mortgage! What are your other debts out of interest?

Good luck and try and stay calm, for you and the kids

My other debts are loans,bills etc that add up to around £15k
the problem i have is that i cannot maintain the house, i have not got disposible income to do so.

I was advised by the National debt-line to petition for bankruptcy and have been saving every penny i can to be able to do this.

Its just a nightmare (

intranicity

Cher, I agree with you, It is a nightmare, but thats why Bankruptcy is there for you, It's not great going BR, but it's a means to an end, and having, along with many others had to take this route, IT DOES GET MUCH BETTER, PROMISE.

I think you need to do the following, sure others will correct me or add to it

1. Get a proper BR friendly account, I used Co=op who were great, others use Barclays, but it is one of these 'Basic' Accounts you need
2. Get advice Re Housing from the Council/Housing Associations and CAB to find out what your options are
3. Try and keep paying PRIORITY DEBTS, ignore the rest and get the money saved ASAP to pay the Court fees for BR
4. Keep asking on here, people have been there and will try and help/Be supportive
5. Find a friend that you can talk to and share your burdens with
6. Try and keep a smile on your face, YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT and will be so much better off in the end
7. Personal suggestion, try and keep the relationship as good as possible with the ex for the sake of the kids

Hope this helps and good luck x

Ineedaname

Priority debts being those for utilities as you will need to keep them on side for the future. Credit cards, loans and the mortgage can be stopped in order to save to go BR.

cher1977

so is the Lloyds tsb account not good then? i just got the most basic account.

If i go for the co-operative one is it the cashminder account i need?
just wanted to say thanks to everyone today, your all so kind and i do feel a bit better now x