Neighbour problems - help!

ab7

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

No, in the interests of "good neighbourly relations" the boy should not be playing ball by the neighbour's car full stop.

Your parents should also have taught you to take more care around other people's property too.

IMO that comment was unnecessary about plans parents:eek:

As a parent who teaches her kids to respect others property at all times I also remember what it was like to be out playing and something to go into the neighbours garden I'd go get it - nothing to do with how my mum brought me up either!!! (I'd have got a clip round the ear if she'd caught me!) As far as I know, this didnt start as a lets criticise the parents again thread either:cool:

You know, no wonder we live in such a nanny state parents scared to let their kids out - what kid wants their mum babysitting them at the local park unless they're under 9???? Thats if mum even has the time between work to get them to the local park :rotfl:we wont even go into community spirit.

Anyway OP, I understand that because your neighbour started this by slating your son and swearing - thats very rude and its annoyed you. Dont let it get to you though - you cant please everyone Maybe next time get your son to apologise if he does do something like that again? But highly recommend he doesn't obviously!
Cat mess is a huge problem in my neighbourhood too - I hate it - the corks will be remembered! Havent got a clue about that

Kay_Peel

Cats like dry crumbly soil around shrubs and plants but there are tons of ways of discouraging them.

It might be a good idea for you to provide the cats with a big litter tray in your garden for a few weeks, so that they have somewhere safe and comfy to go - because after they've experienced some of the following tactics they won't want to visit your neighbours.

Here's some very effective, cheap, MSE ways ways of keeping cats off a garden that you can share with your neighbours:

1. If you haven't got any wine-bottle corks, use old teabags. Put a few drops of Olbas Oil or Vicks Chest Ointment on the tea bags and dot them round the favoured spot.

2. Water the favoured area and try to keep it damp. They don't like getting their feet wet or covering their doings with claggy soil. (This will be a bonus for the shrubs at this time of year!)

3. Plant a few cloves of garlic here and there or just leave the garlic on top of the soil. Boy do they hate garlic!

4. Cover the area temporarily. I use spikey, thorny branches and cuttings from rose bushes, holly and hawthorn because they don't like it up 'em.

5. If they do their business in planters or pots, then make sure you keep any coffee grounds, so that you can spread a thick layer around the plants. They hate coffee grounds.

6. Get a few small whirly child's windmills from the pound shop and stick them in the ground, or silver foil. Put a small rock on the silver foil and leave it there for a few days. I don't know why they're afraid of silver foil and windmills but they are.

Spray the shrubs and soil with diluted vinegar or sprinkle orange peel/lemon peel/coriander seeds etc around the place.

Don't use pepper, mustard, chilli flakes or mothballs because that's just cruel. It's not a good idea to drench the cat with a hose either but a quick squirt from a water bottle doesn't do any harm.

Hope that helps!

Wilma33

I would be very annoyed if kids were playing ball games around my car (and then climbing under it) and cats were pooping in my garden. I think you need to apologise and tell your son to go to the park if he wants to play ball games. I don't think you have neigbour problems, I think your poor neighbour does. He shouldn't have hurt your cat though (assuming he did).

Tiddlywinks

ab7 wrote: »

IMO that comment was unnecessary about plans parents:eek: Why? parents need to let kids know the boundaries.

As a parent who teaches her kids to respect others property at all times I also remember what it was like to be out playing and something to go into the neighbours garden I'd go get it - nothing to do with how my mum brought me up either!!! Well, who is to blame then for you trespassing in your neighbour's garden? (I'd have got a clip round the ear if she'd caught me!) As far as I know, this didnt start as a lets criticise the parents again thread either:cool:

You know, no wonder we live in such a nanny state parents scared to let their kids out - what kid wants their mum babysitting them at the local park unless they're under 9???? Thats if mum even has the time between work to get them to the local park :rotfl:we wont even go into community spirit. By all means let kids out BUT don't let them become a nuisance - and crawling under someone else's car is being a nuisance. If you don't see that as a lack of respect then you are part of the problem which has caused the community breakdown.

Anyway OP, I understand that because your neighbour started this by slating your son and swearing - thats very rude and its annoyed you. The OP's son has also annoyed the neighbour remember. Dont let it get to you though - you cant please everyone Maybe next time get your son to apologise if he does do something like that again? But highly recommend he doesn't obviously!
Cat mess is a huge problem in my neighbourhood too - I hate it - the corks will be remembered! Havent got a clue about that

Yes, let kids play out but recognise that ball games around cars may be an annoyance to others and certainly crawling around others' property without permission is unacceptable.

valkirn

Nothing helpful.... but my god how times have changed when children are no longer allowed to play in their own street without the fear of recriminations.

Our local park is a good hours walk away, local community land 2 seconds outside the front door, i know where my kids will be playing on an evening.

Good old blighty though where children are to be seen but not heard, hell why not go the whole hog and lock them away till the are 21 and fit to join the rest of society

barbiedoll

Why not buy your neighbour one of these plants.....

http://www.hedging.co.uk/acatalog/product_54609.html

and tell your kid not to crawl underneath anyone's car. I know what kids are like but apart from anything else, he is putting himself in danger, suppose your neighbour got in the car and started driving off?

If your neighbours give you anymore grief (and you feel it is unwarranted), keep a journal detailing the incidents. These kind of disputes can tend to escalate.

Plans_all_plans

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

crawling under someone else's car is being a nuisance. If you don't see that as a lack of respect then you are part of the problem which has caused the community breakdown.

The thing is that we all have different ideas of what is disrespectful though! People always have done and always will do. I think the neighbour is making a big deal out of nothing regarding the ball rolling the car, but you think he is rightly outraged. I don't think this is an issue whereby there is one obvious correct way to behave. I think it's ridiculous to bother one's neighbour over something so trivial, as do others, but you'd rush round to ask permission to get the ball.

I also take issue with your notion that my thinking on this matter makes me a nuisance who causes community breakdown! Overreact much?! I am extremely active in my community and I daresay I do more than most to promote community cohesion and volunteer my time to a number of different local causes.

jovichick123

Thanks for the replies all, I will be trying to come to some amicable agreement with neighbour, not sure how realistic that is but will try

Just to clarify, I would never condone my son causing any type of wilful damage to anyone elses property - he is not a vandal. The damage to the car was apparently a 'ripped off exhaust pipe', am not sure this could reasonably be caused by a child retrieving a ball from under a parked car.

My son is 6 years old (just), we live on a quiet road with a field opposite our window. He plays on the field (which has a slope down to the road) with his friends and the ball ended up under the car due to a particularly strong kick from his friend. Yes, he should have knocked on our neighbours door to ask permission but he didn't. He did however (after our neighbour had complained a week later) knock on their door and apologise. He also got grounded for 3 days by me and OH and has not dared go anywhere near car ever since

TBH I probably did a bad job of explaining myself last night, I was very conscious of not putting too much info in my post (and was slightly annoyed).

Thanks for all reponses, will try to find a way to move forward

pinksleepybear

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

If your son was crawling under my car to retrieve a ball then I would be really cheesed off as well - why did he have a ball by the neighbour's car in the first place? He should be taught a bit of respect for the property of others rather than you just seeing this as acceptable behaviour.

I don't understand this - surely it's equally 'disrespectful' for the neighbour to park his car where someone may wish to have a ball.

Do you believe the neighbour has more right to that roadspace than anyone else?

KxMx

I think it depends where the car was (sorry if i've missed this), if it was on his driveway then i'd agree the boy shouldn't have gone onto his property and underneath the car.
But if it was parked on the public road then that is a different story.
And I agree it wasn't a very safe thing to do but then kids are not always aware of these things.

As for cats, people need to realise they are classed as wild animals, I know not everyone is a cat fan though!