Best way to say no to lending money?

Lunar_Eclipse

Since she is such a close, long term friend, I would suggest taking a proactive approach.

The next time she brings up the subject of how much they're struggling financially, I would tell her you'd love to see her turn things around and would like to help her if she would like things to change. Or just start the conversation yourself saying you've been giving their situation a lot of thought and would love to seem them in a better financial situation and think you could help.

Explain that you've been there and are happy to share how you did it, so she can do it too. This would take the form of a spending diary, budgetting and quick win areas that would help cut the excess expenses quickly. Helping with a car boot sale is also an excellent idea. If at any point she asked for a loan, I would simply tell her that you're not willing to jeopardise your friendship over money (it's worth far more than that) and it won't help anyway, it would simply delay the change that is required from her/them.

I would also then take/send round some pantry staples if things were really dire. A mini Tesco shop including pasta, rice, tinned tomatoes, beans etc would be a kind gesture and not cost the earth.