Fruadulent claim!!!

HelpMePay

kelloggs36 wrote: »

I love the way that the fact that the NRP is lying to avoid paying is ignored and encouraged - sorry, but I believe in justice and truth. The person responsible for this is the NRP and nobody else - a child can give lots of info without being quizzed - casual chat about their weekend and who was around, it doesn't mean they have to be put under the spotlight!

It wasn't phrased as a 'casual chat' in your original post, more a case of recruiting an accomplice.

I don't think that anyone is condoning what the NRP 'may' have done, but it is yet to be proved and the advice given may damage the relationship between the child and the NRP, which is more important than cash. I think what was said was....

kelloggs36 wrote: »

how often does your dd go there? Get her to write a diary of who was there and stayed over when she visited - get pics from a mobile or something and pass it to the CSA.

kelloggs36

Tell that to the utilities when they are cut off - I don't condone fraud in any way, and would be more than happy for my child to tell me who was living at the house they were staying at - afterall, as their parent, I would have the right to know this in the best interests of my children.

mrsspendalot

tattycath wrote: »

Interogation/Casual chats, and photographic evidence obtained by a child-I believe in justice and truth but to put your own child in that position is using you child as a weapon really to get what you want-and it's wrong-I'd never put my child in that position, and if the roles were reversed and the OPs ex told the child to photogragh pwc and what goes on at their house, if and when the pwc found out they would be up in arms about it and would be saying how disgusting their ex was and how low can you go etc

My children happened to drop into conversation that their dad had moved house. I was appalled he had moved and not told me where my children were staying on the weekend he had them. I didn't make a fuss with the kids, just said how lovely and asked them if they had bunkbeds and whether they had a garden to play in to make conversation, but I did quiz ex. He reckoned he had forgotten he had moved house :rotfl:

Some NRPs go to extraordinary lengths to get out of paying maintenance. I don't think anyone is suggesting the kids sign up for MI6 or anything here - but why is it harmful to ask your kids what they've done over the weekend and where they've been? I do it all the time to show some interest and make sure they've had a nice time. It's the same to me as asking them what they did at school all day. It makes the fact that they go away every other weekend just a normal part of life. Like Kelloggs says, a lot can be gleaned from just general chit chat without sitting them down and interrogating them.

tattycath

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Tell that to the utilities when they are cut off - I don't condone fraud in any way, and would be more than happy for my child to tell me who was living at the house they were staying at - afterall, as their parent, I would have the right to know this in the best interests of my children.

And obviously it's in the best interests of the child/children to use them as an accomplice and help destroy their relationship with the nrp isn't it (roll eyes)

HelpMePay

mrsspendalot wrote: »

My children happened to drop into conversation that their dad had moved house. I was appalled he had moved and not told me where my children were staying on the weekend he had them. I didn't make a fuss with the kids, just said how lovely and asked them if they had bunkbeds and whether they had a garden to play in to make conversation, but I did quiz ex. He reckoned he had forgotten he had moved house :rotfl:

Some NRPs go to extraordinary lengths to get out of paying maintenance. I don't think anyone is suggesting the kids sign up for MI6 or anything here - but why is it harmful to ask your kids what they've done over the weekend and where they've been? I do it all the time to show some interest and make sure they've had a nice time. It's the same to me as asking them what they did at school all day. It makes the fact that they go away every other weekend just a normal part of life. Like Kelloggs says, a lot can be gleaned from just general chit chat without sitting them down and interrogating them.

There is no problem with a casual helpful chat, but the post suggested maintaining a diary deatiing visitors and taking pics???

kelloggs36

Erm, I think that by deciet the NRP is doing that all by himself actually. If he cared that much about his children, he would pay what is legally right, and not try to score points by hurting the mother!

tattycath

mrsspendalot wrote: »

My children happened to drop into conversation that their dad had moved house. I was appalled he had moved and not told me where my children were staying on the weekend he had them. I didn't make a fuss with the kids, just said how lovely and asked them if they had bunkbeds and whether they had a garden to play in to make conversation, but I did quiz ex. He reckoned he had forgotten he had moved house :rotfl:

Some NRPs go to extraordinary lengths to get out of paying maintenance. I don't think anyone is suggesting the kids sign up for MI6 or anything here - but why is it harmful to ask your kids what they've done over the weekend and where they've been? I do it all the time to show some interest and make sure they've had a nice time. It's the same to me as asking them what they did at school all day. It makes the fact that they go away every other weekend just a normal part of life. Like Kelloggs says, a lot can be gleaned from just general chit chat without sitting them down and interrogating them.

But like kelloggs said, keep a diary and take photos on a mobile.
I'm a pwc and have also come across pwc (having been in relationships with nrps) and some pwcs do in fact interrogate their children to glean any information relative or otherwise to satisfy nothing other than their apparent nosiness-obviously not all pwcs are like that but there are some who would go to any lengths to find out anything and everything-and i've even known pwcs who have sunk to the lowest depths to try to destroy childrens relationship with nrp-making up lies and all sorts. Sorry, i digress.

kelloggs36

writing a diary is not an issue and can be very useful - I really don't see the problem with gathering evidence. I guess that is why I won my tribunal hearing and got my ex to pay, when he wanted to lie and cheat his way out of taking responsibility for a child whom we BOTH had responsibility for. My sense of justice was too strong.

HelpMePay

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Erm, I think that by deciet the NRP is doing that all by himself actually. If he cared that much about his children, he would pay what is legally right, and not try to score points by hurting the mother!

.....erm....unless he has actually broken up with his new partner and is going through another upsetting breakup but is trying his best not to broadcast it to his ex and/or the village. In fact he may even be going out of his way to maintain normality for his child.

I'm sure discovering that his daughter is spying on him at the same time as his new-ex is taking him to the CSA and his old ex is accusing him of fraud will not damage his relationship with the children at all.

I just think we should be careful of the advice we give on a forum because, whilst we only hear one side of the story and never hear of the impact that doesn't mean we are not responsible for it.

tattycath

kelloggs36 wrote: »

writing a diary is not an issue and can be very useful - I really don't see the problem with gathering evidence. I guess that is why I won my tribunal hearing and got my ex to pay, when he wanted to lie and cheat his way out of taking responsibility for a child whom we BOTH had responsibility for. My sense of justice was too strong.

and obviously you're not at all biased or bitter because of your experience are you!!
Not all nrps are as bad as some pwcs make out.