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Trying for baby number 5??
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I had my 5th baby 7weeks ago, I now have 4 of them 4 and under.
I was also one of 5, but that wasn't for lack of trying on my parents part lol
We aren't sure if we will have any more or not...0 -
I did what was necessary to provide what I can for my children.. Obv. we still get tax credits and such.. but we got those when I just had 1 child too... and I received income support then too.
!
I suppose it's just hard for people like me,who chose to keep our family small, to understand how;
a)people can give enough emotionally to 10 when we struggle sometimes with 2 and
b) How,when we have a good wage and no debt,we feel we couldn't afford more. I always think that people with big families must be high earners. I always want to know how much they earn and what their partner does for a living.
As I say, it's just hard for me to grasp. Doesn't mean it can't be done.
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I could theoretically afford it.. but I would refuse to pay it..
Education I would do my utmost to provide.. it gives them the tools to provide for themselves.
a mortgage and a wedding get them nowhere in life, they are not vital to their future... they are like.. a holiday.. nice to have but not an absolute must.. a decent education is a must.
How can you compare a home to a holiday??? A home is the biggest single purchase that any of us ever makes.
We're living in a world where people can have a decent education and job but can't get on the property ladder. They're having to wait well into their 30s before they can afford to buy their first house. I'll do whatever I can do to make sure that our son and unborn child have a decent education AND have the security of their own homes. I can do that for 2 kids...not 20!0 -
‘Bank of Mum and Dad’ is increasingly helping children with their first step on the property ladder simply because without the help they're have to save longer.
Good. they will appreciate it more!
If you're not in the position to help your children then they at a disadvantage compared to those that have that help. The more children you have, the less able you are to help your children.
They are also at the advantage of not expecting things to be handed to them on a plate and understand the value of working for something they can then have pride in and a sense of achievement. They are less selfish (unless you are DD3) and have a realistic view of the world rather than some idiotic view that mummy and daddy will bail them out whenever they have gone over budget.
I just had to transfer the money to my daughters bank account for her exam resit (the college is the only one in the country that doesn't pay for resits I am sure!) because she insisted on paying it herself out of her EMA because she could.. so I gave her the money back and told her it was for college stuff etc rather than reinbursement for her fees. She is fiercly independant but equally very happy to stay living here through uni.. up to now anyway lol She did joke about moving into the studen house next door and sneaking over the wall to raid the freezer and sneak her washing in my basket.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
Pink_Mummy wrote: »
Years ago people used to have big families, nowadays it's considered 'normal' to have 2 adults and 2 children.. anything outside of that people can't seem to accept..
I find this comment rather naive. Families were big because contraception was non-existent and because women had nothing else to do - they couldn't have a career, for example. Society defined a fulfilled woman as one who had children.
To do something "because it's been the norm for so long" when so much has changed in the mean time (contraception, glass ceilings, divorce, women being able to own property etc) suggests a lack of awareness of the world around you.0 -
How can you compare a home to a holiday??? A home is the biggest single purchase that any of us ever makes.
We're living in a world where people can have a decent education and job but can't get on the property ladder. They're having to wait well into their 30s before they can afford to buy their first house. I'll do whatever I can do to make sure that our son and unborn child have a decent education AND have the security of their own homes. I can do that for 2 kids...not 20!
so they rent.. they have a home.. a mortgage is a luxury not a necessity
You give them the education the home comes later through work and achievement.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
Why is it assumed that 'everyone' wants to own a home?
I'm an intelligent woman, with a good education (a degree) and reasonable expectations for my income, life and family...but I have never wanted to own property.0 -
They are also at the advantage of not expecting things to be handed to them on a plate and understand the value of working for something they can then have pride in and a sense of achievement. They are less selfish (unless you are DD3) and have a realistic view of the world rather than some idiotic view that mummy and daddy will bail them out whenever they have gone over budget.
That's absolute nonsense...I'm talking about giving a little help to get from A to B. We got about 30% of our wedding costs from parental help. It was a lovely gesture. We still had to work for the remaining 70% and felt a sense of achievement.
We got about 4% help towards our first mortgage too. We still had to work for the remaining 96% (of course with massive help from a mortgage!) and felt a sense of achievement.
You're getting greatly confused with gestures and spoiling.0 -
No I am getting it quite right in that my children will be given the tools to be self sufficient.
I saved a 5% deposit on our first mortgage and a 10% on our second.. on my own without any contribution from anyone.. I did that.. on my own and I am damn proud of it.. and my children will should they decide to take on a mortgage.. but I will not be teaching them I am an untapped source of unearned income.
You will have to agree to disagree with me on this one.
And just because I do disagree with you does not give the right to decide my perfectly adequate views are nonsense. You are as entitled to your opinion as I mine and I respect yours so please have the same courtesy LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
so they rent.. they have a home.. a mortgage is a luxury not a necessity
You give them the education the home comes later through work and achievement.
education...so you've said.
However, it's becoming increasingly difficult for first time buyers (did you read my link?) to get on the property ladder without assistance. We're living in a world where professionals such as teachers are unable to get onto the property ladder despite hard work and achievement.0
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