Trying for baby number 5??

pigpen

viktory wrote: »

I actually think people that have really big families are a little selfish. There is no consideration for the children; even with our generous Government, the bigger the family the less there is to go round. Food, clothes, money, time, space etc, etc. Not every child wants to be part of a big family.

Now lets see if Pink Mummy can handle my comments in a mature and adult manner :cool:

They have more than enough in terms of clothes, food, toys and money.. not that they need money being children and all. I can't believe you would even consider the thought children would go without basic things like food because there are more than 2 or 3 of them.. what a very bizarre thought. I went without food as a child so my then 3 younger siblings could have breakfast I'd go to school with nothing if that was what was to be had, I wouldn't dream of it with mine.

Space.. we probably have more than a lot with 2 or 3 children in a 2 or 3 bedroomed house... we once only had 2 or 3 and were in a tiny tiny 2up-2down definitely more room now.

Time.. I think it is important for the parents (that would be me in my house) to make time for individual children. Naturaly the baby, as she is a baby, takes the lions share but they each are more than welcome to collect hugs as required there are alwas enough of those to go around. We discuss things en masse and individually I have even been known to help with homework.. BUT, they also have each other to get individual time from and the older ones willingly.. because I would NEVER pass my parental responsibility and duty on to one of the other children.. listen to reading books and help with other stuff. DD1 taught DD5 to walk.. we had just moved house and it was chaos and she would steal DD5 and spend a while with her.

I have yet to have one of mine say they wished they had fewer siblings.. apart from DD3 in a fit of rage after I asked her to pick up her dirty laundry.

I think the only things mine don't get which others might are foreign holidays.. but I have no desire to go myself so probably wouldn't take them anyway.

My lot are like the Waltons!!!!! #only a few more of them (they only had 7) Actualy we refer to them as the von Shut-ya-trapps ... cos they never stop talking it is like feeding time on a chicken farm!

thatgirlsam

My friend is 1 of 12.. and she hated it so much she got sterilised, she is adamant she will never have children, I think possibly because she did a lot of childcare when she was growing up

But there are 2 sides to the coin, loads of people love a big family

My personal view is that it is a little selfish too - if everyone had 5 each it would out a massive strain on the countries economy and it is definitley not eco - friendly

But.. one of your kids could turn out to be someone who makes a massive change to things so who knows!

JC9297

Pink_Mummy wrote: »

Seee.. each to their own, I was one of 2 and hated it!.. Well I love my sister but we were so bored with each other, our best friends were a family of 6 and they all loved it..

That's why it's good that everyone is so different.. Everyone has different likes, dislikes, opinions etc..

Each to their own!

But when you say each to their own it's only the adults that get a choice, you would have liked more siblings but your parents didn't have more to keep you happy!

Pink_Mummy

JC9297 wrote: »

But when you say each to their own it's only the adults that get a choice, you would have liked more siblings but your parents didn't have more to keep you happy!

My parents wanted more but couldnt..

Years ago people used to have big families, nowadays it's considered 'normal' to have 2 adults and 2 children.. anything outside of that people can't seem to accept..

In hundreds of years time people will probably still be having this conversation because everyone is different and always will be.. That's what makes the world go round! :rotfl:

iceicebaby

If you listen to my mum talk, we all had idyllic childhoods and she bleats on about the good old days etc. I just wish somone would have asked me how I felt about it as a child. It cartainly wasnt as idyllic as my mum likes to make out!

Nicki

It's a bit self indulgent as an adult to say you didn't like the family set up as child, isn't it. As a parent, we can't choose whether any given child is the oldest, youngest or middle child, nor can we know in advance whether an unborn child would be happiest as an only, 1of 2, or in a big family. Birth order and the number of siblings you have are things which can't be changed, so don't we all just have to get on with it?

OP's kids are surely statistically just as likely to love being part of a big family as to wish they were only children? Besides which I would imagine there is probably not much difference between being 1 of 4 and being 1 of 5. It is as different from being 1 of 2 as it is of being 1 of 10.

pigpen

JC9297 wrote: »

But when you say each to their own it's only the adults that get a choice, you would have liked more siblings but your parents didn't have more to keep you happy!

Maybe by the time they knew of her displeasure they were too old or they would happily oblige.

smk77

Pink_Mummy wrote: »

An adult manner.. hmm not sure Im adult enough too lol!!

Im sorry but I completely disagree, there is more than enough food, clothes, love etc to go around.. ok space is probably a factor but I've never known an unhappy big family, infact I know lone children feel as though they're missing out more..

Years ago 9+ children was the norm!! Maybe thats where us big familied people get our roots from?!?!?

Will you be able to afford to send them all to Uni? Will you be able to afford to help them on the housing ladder? Will you be able to contribute to their weddings? Not being able to help out with these may put children from big families at a disadvantage.

If you found yourself in a position where you had no income (unemployment, long term sick etc) would it be fair to burden the state?

pigpen

thatgirlsam wrote: »

My friend is 1 of 12.. and she hated it so much she got sterilised, she is adamant she will never have children, I think possibly because she did a lot of childcare when she was growing up

Exactly.. my oldest daughter wants 6 children.. I did say to her wait until you have the first and then decide on the second.. she might get one like herself! She is a wonderful teenager but God in Heaven she was a horrible baby!

HoneysuckleLou

We have 7 children, all fairly close together in age. In fact the 5th was the best birth!