How can I get him to pay?

Britneys_Firefly

Hi all,

At the moment I have no idea if I can try and get my newborn sons father to start making payments towards him, i need some serious help.

I dont know where my little boys father lives, or works, or national insurance number. All I have is his name, and mobile phone number, as well as the town that he lives in!, can the CSA help me?...

The reason I have so little information is because I wasnt with him for very long, are relationship moved very fast very quick and as quick as it started it finished, I didnt even know i was pregnant until I was in labour either, so once the relationship finished contact was lost, of course since my little boys arrival I have told dad he has a son, but at the moment he is being bone idol and hasnt even visited yet.

Can anyone help?

pupsicola

I have just recently applied to the csa to trace my ex in the hopes of recieving child maintenance. I had very little current info to give them either, he hasn't had any contact with us for over 2 1/2 years.

They have managed to trace him and I am waiting to see what happens next. I have found the csa really efficient so far. It is worth downloading the form and filling it in as much as you can and sending it off.

They will want to know if his name appears on the birth certificate. There are alot of really nice, knowledgeable people on this forum who have more experience about all this than me. Couldn't read and run though and want to wish you luck.

Britneys_Firefly

pupsicola wrote: »

I have just recently applied to the csa to trace my ex in the hopes of recieving child maintenance. I had very little current info to give them either, he hasn't had any contact with us for over 2 1/2 years.

They have managed to trace him and I am waiting to see what happens next. I have found the csa really efficient so far. It is worth downloading the form and filling it in as much as you can and sending it off.

They will want to know if his name appears on the birth certificate. There are alot of really nice, knowledgeable people on this forum who have more experience about all this than me. Couldn't read and run though and want to wish you luck.

Thanks for the help,
His name isnt on the birth certificate, because guess what?, yup he was far too bone idol to get into his car and travel the 30 mins that it would take and meet me at the registery office,
weird really seeming as not once has he thrown the line 'hes not mine' at me, yet he is acting like it!

vasseur

Britneys_Firefly wrote: »

Hi all,

At the moment I have no idea if I can try and get my newborn sons father to start making payments towards him, i need some serious help.

I dont know where my little boys father lives, or works, or national insurance number. All I have is his name, and mobile phone number, as well as the town that he lives in!, can the CSA help me?...

The reason I have so little information is because I wasnt with him for very long, are relationship moved very fast very quick and as quick as it started it finished, I didnt even know i was pregnant until I was in labour either, so once the relationship finished contact was lost, of course since my little boys arrival I have told dad he has a son, but at the moment he is being bone idol and hasnt even visited yet.

Can anyone help?

Sounds similar to me (the situation that is) and 7 years on he still hasn't seen his daughter, but that was his choice and he has to live with it.

Do you have his date of birth? Even partially may help. Have you been on 192.com - that might narrow the address down a bit?

Good luck!

sjc3

Do you know his past address or know any of his past employers? You do at least have his mobile number so that would help in csa being able to contact him. I hope they can help you.

pupsicola

I would second the point about the date of birth, that would be useful. Is he employed or self employed? If he ran his own business you could google that and see if address details come up. 192.com is also a good place to use too. If you put his name in it can bring up limited details about previous and current address details. The more credits you buy the more info can be released. Have you tried 118118 or the like and given his name and home town. They may have a landline listed.

Did you two have any mutual friends that may be able to shed any more light, realise this is a long shot but worth a try.

Phil_Wood

Send him a text wishing him "Happy Birthday".....he might just be daft enough to reply with...."What do you mean?...my birthday is such & such"......gotcha!

Phil.

vasseur

Phil_Wood wrote: »

Send him a text wishing him "Happy Birthday".....he might just be daft enough to reply with...."What do you mean?...my birthday is such & such"......gotcha!

Phil.

Nice one!!!

cloudcuckooland_3

Contact Social Services, get number from phone book. They may pass you on to some different numbers but they might be a good starting point. You have right on your side and you need serious help - DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT - this isn't just your problem. Unfortunately you need to get on the phone and let every benefit agency know that you need help. There is money out there you just need to claim it. Does your local jobcentre have a lone parents advisor? Phone up and ask them, make an appointment.
I have been through some of this and I have now been a single parent for 15 years. Good luck to you, you can do it - maybe think of you an the baby on your own but YOU CAN DO IT!!
Please let me know how you get on!
If the father doesn't come forward and doesn,t participate in the baby's upbringing this is his loss - but please persevere wiv money to help you both, if not from him then from the benefit agencies.
Please go out with your baby and get this help.

RedSky

Britneys_Firefly wrote: »

The reason I have so little information is because I wasnt with him for very long, are relationship moved very fast very quick and as quick as it started it finished, I didnt even know i was pregnant until I was in labour either, so once the relationship finished contact was lost, of course since my little boys arrival I have told dad he has a son, but at the moment he is being bone idol and hasnt even visited yet.

From the limited information given it doesn't sound like you both actively planned starting a family together. Only you know the full details but he may chose not to be emotionally involved as he may not have wanted a child opposed to just being bone idol.

If you give the CSA as much information as you can, they should be able to tell you if they have found a match or not. If he is bone idol and consequently unemployed then he will only be assessed to pay a minimal amount from his benefits.

sjc3

Phil_Wood wrote: »

Send him a text wishing him "Happy Birthday".....he might just be daft enough to reply with...."What do you mean?...my birthday is such & such"......gotcha!

Phil.

Worth a try :rotfl: