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Split up
Comments
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Do you own the house-eg pay a mortage?
if you do youd be entiled to it-you could have a forced sale.
If you rent- just leave,
He would have to pay maitence i think its csa(some one correct me?) who will look into his pay and take some off.
You would get housing,income support/jsa,(maybe) working tax credits if you chose to work, child benefit, child tax credit.
Get a bank account! Look for another place. If he refuses to pay (which may be hard if csa will go into his account) then deny access-i know it sounds harsh but you can support children on nothing. Avoid that action if you can't, but sometimes you need to be harsh.0 -
LOVELY!Get a bank account! Look for another place. If he refuses to pay (which may be hard if csa will go into his account) then deny access-i know it sounds harsh but you can support children on nothing. Avoid that action if you can, but sometimes you need to be harsh.
Even before the OP got any child support, she would have plenty benefits for herself and the children so hardly nothing.*SIGH*
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Sorry to hear your sad news.
What you do next depends on the situation, and how you feel about it.
Presumably, your husband is still paying bills, and providing food for you and the children?
If so, you will probably find that the with-holding of cash to yourself is a knee-jerk reaction on his part, bought about by his frustration at events, particularly if he is not 100% behind the split. He may feel that this is the only way to stop you leaving, and 'control' the situation.
Definitely open a bank account asap, and get the child benefits paid into it, as soon as you are able. Generally child benefit is paid to the mother, so this is probably already the case, and so will just be a case of changing the account details.
Secondly - if you are really serious about the split - take legal advice. CAB would be the starting point, as they should be able to point you to a family solicitor, many of whom won't charge for the initial consultation.
It is important to do this as soon as possible, as although you say the atmosphere is not bad in the home at present, this may change (sometimes can deteriorate very quickly in these circumstances), and you really don't want to leave it until the housing situation becomes crucial, as this would be unfair and unsettling to the children.
As a marriage couple who are estranged, living in the same house is really not a good idea as a long term solution, it may be amicable today, but no-one can say what tomorrow may bring!
So take advice, listen to it, and act on it, and do it NOW.
The sooner things are sorted, the better chance of things staying amicable, and its very important for the children that things are kept as amicable as possible.
Hope all turns out well for all parties involved.0 -
Sorry to hear your sad news.
What you do next depends on the situation, and how you feel about it.
Presumably, your husband is still paying bills, and providing food for you and the children?
If so, you will probably find that the with-holding of cash to yourself is a knee-jerk reaction on his part, bought about by his frustration at events, particularly if he is not 100% behind the split. He may feel that this is the only way to stop you leaving, and 'control' the situation.
Definitely open a bank account asap, and get the child benefits paid into it, as soon as you are able. Generally child benefit is paid to the mother, so this is probably already the case, and so will just be a case of changing the account details.
Secondly - if you are really serious about the split - take legal advice. CAB would be the starting point, as they should be able to point you to a family solicitor, many of whom won't charge for the initial consultation.
It is important to do this as soon as possible, as although you say the atmosphere is not bad in the home at present, this may change (sometimes can deteriorate very quickly in these circumstances), and you really don't want to leave it until the housing situation becomes crucial, as this would be unfair and unsettling to the children.
As a marriage couple who are estranged, living in the same house is really not a good idea as a long term solution, it may be amicable today, but no-one can say what tomorrow may bring!
So take advice, listen to it, and act on it, and do it NOW.
The sooner things are sorted, the better chance of things staying amicable, and its very important for the children that things are kept as amicable as possible.
Hope all turns out well for all parties involved.
Yes but don't be buttering up the OP that she has a totally good case, far from it, if the house is under a mortgage, then the OP's ex need not move out and it is probaly better all round that the OP moves out, if the OPs ex moves out, he simply only needs to fork out for the csa 20% net pay max , I doubt benefits will be enough to cover the mortgage and other asscosiated running costs of the house and that is before food is put on the table, if the Ops ex goes and he stops paying the mortgage the lenders will soon be on the case and the house may have to be sold anyway
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Really didn't mean to imply that OP would be able to stay in the house. That is precisely why I told her to seek advise!
I know of several divorces where the mum and kids have had to move out of the marital property for one reason or another!
What I was trying to point out was that it may not be healthy for both sides of a relationship breakdown to stay in the same property, not least for the children, as experience shows that, as time passes, the relationship may disintegrate further, then the OP, the husband and the children may suffer more in the long term.
Sometimes it is just better to grasp the nettle, and get the ball rolling towards a solution, sooner rather than later.0 -
Really didn't mean to imply that OP would be able to stay in the house. That is precisely why I told her to seek advise!
I know of several divorces where the mum and kids have had to move out of the marital property for one reason or another!
What I was trying to point out was that it may not be healthy for both sides of a relationship breakdown to stay in the same property, not least for the children, as experience shows that, as time passes, the relationship may disintegrate further, then the OP, the husband and the children may suffer more in the long term.
Sometimes it is just better to grasp the nettle, and get the ball rolling towards a solution, sooner rather than later.
I agree, I suppose it was reading your other reply but coupled with the silly replies like 'change the locks', some (other respondants) do seem rather short sighted with situations like what the OP is in, if she is not working and not likely to get a well paid job with reliable childcare, she is in the cow dung really, if she thinks her partner is stubborn now, once csa has to be paid up and he requires a roof over his head, she may find herslf turfed out and the partner and children remain at home and yes it does happen too :eek:0 -
Maybe she feearsome of him voilent and temper ? too scare to ask CAB or act now0
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Maybe she feearsome of him voilent and temper ? too scare to ask CAB or act now
Not all blokes or even most of them are violent the moment a relationship breaks down, and the OP never even hinted at those sort of accusations, it looks to me like two stubborn adults in a relationship who if they don't resolve their differences soon , will end up cutting their nose to spite their faces. We've all been in and out of relationships at some point, and what the OP describes sounds more like a tiff gone out of hand 0
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