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Comments

  • viktory
    viktory Posts: 7,635 Forumite
    flight747 wrote: »
    Maybe she feearsome of him voilent and temper ? too scare to ask CAB or act now

    The OP strikes me as being far too bolshy to be a victim of DV.
  • dogfish12
    dogfish12 Posts: 159 Forumite
    edited 25 March 2011 at 12:46AM
    Medusa:the caring, sharing, forgiving texter of mse gives her poison!! I name you shelob!
  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,718 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    viktory wrote: »
    The OP strikes me as being far too bolshy to be a victim of DV.

    I was always quite bolshy......but was a victim of domestic violence. Unfortunately, he ground the bolshyness out of me over the years.

    Back to being very bolshy again now though!
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
  • foreign_correspondent
    foreign_correspondent Posts: 9,542 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    viktory wrote: »
    The OP strikes me as being far too bolshy to be a victim of DV.

    yeah, cos that only happens to weak people I suppose... :(

    of course, the more articulate, opinionated women are immune...
  • allen35
    allen35 Posts: 1,516 Forumite
    foreign_correspondent wrote: »
    yeah, cos that only happens to weak people I suppose... :(

    of course, the more articulate, opinionated women are immune...

    I think you suppose wrong then, it happens to the strong willed just as much to the most vulnerable, it doesn't necessarily have to be violence, what about psychological abuse where over years women and men are ground down to submission through a partners actions and especially where money is concerned, taking options/decisions from a person which makes them too reliant on the other to the point of complete submission.
    Forums can be/are a good guide to entitlement and it is good practice to back it up with clarification from the relevant department/specialist with written confirmation to safeguard yourself.
  • popadom
    popadom Posts: 822 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    DX2 wrote: »
    LOVELY!
    Even before the OP got any child support, she would have plenty benefits for herself and the children so hardly nothing.

    it was meant to say "can't"-
  • popadom
    popadom Posts: 822 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Marisco wrote: »
    Not a good idea at all!! Access and maintenance should be kept separate, the only ones to suffer will be the kids!!!

    Im not saying thats the first thing to do-the very very last resort-but how is it fair for the mum to pay everything-dad walks in "treats "the kids and mum cant afford food.Im a child of divorce-i wouldnt say it unless it was the last resort
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,517 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    rgay1992 wrote: »
    Im not saying thats the first thing to do-the very very last resort-but how is it fair for the mum to pay everything-dad walks in "treats "the kids and mum cant afford food.Im a child of divorce-i wouldnt say it unless it was the last resort


    That may have been the case when you were a child, but the law has changed.

    A mother who uses access to punish a delinquent father will get very short shrift from the courts, so this is not good advice
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,517 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    jani


    Please read this thread about economic abuse in marriage. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1276963
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • DUTR
    DUTR Posts: 12,958 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    rgay1992 wrote: »
    Im not saying thats the first thing to do-the very very last resort-but how is it fair for the mum to pay everything-dad walks in "treats "the kids and mum cant afford food.Im a child of divorce-i wouldnt say it unless it was the last resort

    Not all seperated couples act in such a foolish and immature way, my Dad is great and so is my Mum, they both work mind you, there was none of this csa malarky or access rubbish . In the case of the OP whilst she is under the same roof as her hubby then I doubt she will be entitled to any benefits which is what i think she was asking.
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