Split up

Marisco

rgay1992 wrote: »

Im not saying thats the first thing to do-the very very last resort-but how is it fair for the mum to pay everything-dad walks in "treats "the kids and mum cant afford food.Im a child of divorce-i wouldnt say it unless it was the last resort

It shouldn't be the "last resort" either!!! As some say on the CSA threads, kids are not "pay per view"!! Blackmailing a father to pay for his kids is not right, any more than a father NOT paying is right!! But it should be done the right way. Kids should be kept well out of ALL domestic troubles, it's between the parents, and the kids shouldn't even come in to it!! In the OP's situation, I don't think that she will get any benefits but CB. How will they "prove" they are separated? TBH, anyone could go to the DSS and say they have split up, but are still living in the same house! It's ridiculous!! As for not affording food, I very much doubt, with all the benefits available to single parents, that anyone in this country need starve!!!

DX2

rgay1992 wrote: »

If he refuses to pay (which may be hard if csa will go into his account) then deny access-i know it sounds harsh but you can support children on nothing. Avoid that action if you can't, but sometimes you need to be harsh.

rgay1992 wrote: »

it was meant to say "can't"-

Go on re read your post and still tell me it makes sense.

You are telling someone to deny access to their child if they don't pay child support.
You then go on to say that you can support children on nothing?! She wouldn't have nothing she would have benefits.
Avoid that action if you can't???

DX2

rgay1992 wrote: »

Im not saying thats the first thing to do-the very very last resort-but how is it fair for the mum to pay everything-dad walks in "treats "the kids and mum cant afford food.Im a child of divorce-i wouldnt say it unless it was the last resort

Mum can't afford food get a grip and stop with the dramatics FGS. Why do you think there is a benefit system in place?

DX2

allen35 wrote: »

I think you suppose wrong then, it happens to the strong willed just as much to the most vulnerable, it doesn't necessarily have to be violence, what about psychological abuse where over years women and men are ground down to submission through a partners actions and especially where money is concerned, taking options/decisions from a person which makes them too reliant on the other to the point of complete submission.

I take it the sarcasam bypassed you

foreign_correspondent

allen35 wrote: »

I think you suppose wrong then, it happens to the strong willed just as much to the most vulnerable, it doesn't necessarily have to be violence, what about psychological abuse where over years women and men are ground down to submission through a partners actions and especially where money is concerned, taking options/decisions from a person which makes them too reliant on the other to the point of complete submission.

yes, I agree with you totally.. I was being a little sarcastic, but it wasnt very clearly put!