stressed , fed up and very down

mummyofboys

Hi everyone,

update, son has been for some tests had xray done on hips and head ( no results as of yet ) sweat test did not go ahead as he wasnt very well, consultant said he is still concerned with motor stills.

feeling really crap, have talked to my mum who gave me some good advice she said to ask my landord to up my rent by 50 a month instead of paying 250 in one go, council tax have agreed to add £54.25 to my monthly payments of £76 for three months to clear arrears. littlewoods have accepted payment plan of 68 a month, capital one being no help, other catalogue isme is accepting £22.50 a month. husbands catelogue have not called yet. Im still not getting anywhere... I dont work of this SOA as i get so many different payments, weekly, monthly and four weekly. I dont know how to budget . This is an example of this month/ next month and Im still in trouble even though I have tried to make way today. Feel lost, I am making a payment of 30 to ebay today in order to clear arrears so I can put on my items for sale to get more money in.

Positive news, I got an interview date today from Manchester Uni ( really didn't think I would even get offered an interview so I am proud)

Bad news- everything else.

feel really down, here is what im working with this month.
Monday 28TH March

132wages +£21.73 in bank+ £52 of dad=£205.
-60.00 Asda
-£10.00 Petrol Paid
-£10.00 Footie Paid
-£6.99 Dixons
-£2.99 Dixons
-Loan £61.24
-£30.00 ebay fees
=£43.78

Tuesday 29th march
£43.78 in bank

Wednesday 30th march
£43.78 in bank

Thursday 31st march
£43.78 in bank

Friday 1st april
£43.78 in bank+ £20 Adult learner grant = £63.78
-12.12 Tv License
-£40 overdraft
-£40 lees credit card
-£129.87 council tax
-£25.00 Account C
-£68 littlewoods
-£22.50 marshall ward
-60 CHARGES joint
-£57.00 Phone
= -£390.71

Saturday 2nd april
= -£390.71 in bank

Sunday 3rd april
= -£390.71 in bank + 1065 husband wages=£674.29
-77 sky
-440 nursery
=£157.29

Monday 4th april
=£157.29 in bank +96 mywages=£253.29
-60.00 Asda
-£10.00 Petrol
-£10.00 Footie
-£60 petrol (company car)
= £113.29

Tuesday 5th april
£113.29 in bank
-38.00 water
-£27.77 HMRC
-£40.00 Credit
=£7.52

Wednesday 6th april
=£7.52 in bank

Thursday 7th april
=£7.52 in bank

Friday 8th april
£7.52 in bank +20 ALG + 662 TAX CREDITS= £689.52
-600 rent
-£30 capital one
= £59.52

Saturday 9 th april
= £59.52
-115 INSURANCE CAR
=-£55.48

Sunday 10th april
=-£55.48 in bank

Monday 11th april

-£55.48 +96 wages= £40.52
-60.00 Asda
-£10.00 Petrol
-£10.00 Footie
-£49.77 loan
=-£89.25

Tuesday 12th april
=-£89.25 in bank

Wednesday 13th april
=-£89.25 in bank

Thursday 14th april
=-£89.25 in bank

Friday 15th april
=-£89.25 in bank + £20 ALG
=-69.25 In bank
Saturday 16th april
=-69.25 In bank
Sunday 17th april
=-69.25 In bank

Monday 18th april
=-69.25 In bank + 96 wages =-£26.75
-60.00 Asda
-£10.00 Petrol
-£10.00 Footie
-£18 beun
=-£71.25

Tuesday 19th april
=-£71.25 in bank

Wednesday 20th april
=-£71.25 in bank
-£55 gas
-£55elec
-£22pinnacle
=-£203.25


Thursday 21st april
=-£203.25 in bank

Friday 22nd april
=-£203.25 in bank

Saturday 23rd april
=-£203.25 in bank
-Credit £100
-Overdraft £85.00
-£70 sky
-Loan £61.24
-£6.99 Dixons
-£6.99 Dixons
-£2.99 Dixons
=-£536.46

Sunday 24th april
=-£536.46 in bank

Monday 25th april

-£536.46 in bank +180 wages =-£356.46
-60.00 Asda
-£10.00 Petrol
-£10.00 Footie
=-£436.46 in bank

Tuesday 26th apri
=-£436.46 in bank

Wednesday 27th april
=-£436.46 in bank

Thursday 28th april
=-£436.46 in bank

-£68.00 littlewoods
-£22.50 marshalward
=-£526.23 in bank

Friday 29th april
=-£526.23 in bank

This is how im living and its making me ill feel so stressed, any extra i earn goes straight into account but seems to not help at all. Im hoping once this course ends in 10 weeks I can earn more money by working more hours in a different job ( fulltime)

mummyofboys

laineydoll126 wrote: »

Hi Jay_Mi10,

which part of the UK do you live in?

north west why?

mummyofboys

bump any advice

Mothermercury30

jay_mi10 wrote: »

Hi

I dont know why im writting this, i feel abit down. I feel totally exhausted sp? I am currently finding paying bills hard.. I got married last month, im currently on an access to health course and have been accepted to go to uni for a nursing degree in Sept.

I have 2 kids both in childcare, and although i knew this year at college would be hard money wise ( cutting back hours ect) I feel like im in a hole I cant get out of. I am at college trying to make a better future but i feel im always in the red. I keep getting phonecalls from littlewoods( i hate them!) im currently trying to work as many hours as possible but for the past 3 weeks I have done 12 hour days and with one day off yesterday for my sons birthday which was with loads of kids and not very relaxing! today im due in at 3.30 and i feel so sad and fed up.

I normally earn 96 a week , my husband works fulltime, im at full time college however I have been working these extra shifts as a girl is off, but it doesnt seem to be helping. I dont have enough money to cover my basic outgoings and debt repayments. IM hoping this will get better in sept as I will be able to get my bursary ect there is little help for access courses which is 20 a week.

I just feel very fed up, and like although i am trying me best to pay things something always happens to screw it up! I feel like sacking the course or and getting fiulltime work however i know deep down this wont soolve my long term goals.

Im 24, it doesnt help my son is also undergoing cystic firosis tests this week as well as head scans as they think something is wrong.

I feel so stressed My husband has depression and is on medication, it feels like i have the whole burden incase i make his depression worse

feel alone

Hi there

I just wanted to say keep on in there. I will mail you with a considered Personal email later on.:beer:

lambda

Hi There,

I'm sorry to interject but I had a point that I thought was worth mentioning.

Do you really *need* Sky TV? Sky is a luxury not a necessity. Even if it does include landline and broadband: you can get combined phone and internet for 10 - 20 quid a month. I would ditch it and save the 50 quid a month that you can put towards other living costs or debt. Just use freeview: it's like Sky but 20 channels of crap instead of 200 channels of crap. In fact, if you want the HD channels then buy a cheap Freesat HD box (about 50 quid) and plug it into your existing Sky dish. That way you'll get freeview with a couple of HD channels too.

lemonpopsicle

Quite honestly I'm not surprised you feel crap, I would too! You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, more than a lot of people have in a lifetime. Sending a virtual hug.
Well done for putting on your soa, I've got a few things I'm unsure of in it. What is Footie, Dixons and do you really pay £100+ a month for car ins?
Thinking of you and yours, Pop

mummyofboys

lemonpopsicle wrote: »

Quite honestly I'm not surprised you feel crap, I would too! You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, more than a lot of people have in a lifetime. Sending a virtual hug.
Well done for putting on your soa, I've got a few things I'm unsure of in it. What is Footie, Dixons and do you really pay £100+ a month for car ins?
Thinking of you and yours, Pop

I have only just passed my test I am 24 and my husband is 24 he is also insured on it this is why its high.

Football is 10 per week for my husband and son to play football at a team ( this and sky is really the only luxury we have plus i think im in contract with sky )

dixons is insurance for laptop, tv and playstation

gettingbackontrack

Hi Jay. Sorry you're feeling so low but you REALLY are making progess - arranging to pay off your arrears, and coming toagreement with some of your creditors. You've started to get things on track and with all your stresses, that's a achievement. It must be very hard to budget when your income comes in so erratically. Is there any way you change the date of some of your payments so they all fall on the same day? I've done that in the past - it helped me keep on top of things.

Just one thought on the expenses - shouldn't the laptop, TV and playstation be covered in your contents insurance? That would save you a bit.

Congratulations on your interview too! Take care and try not to get too low. You are making steps to get things fixed - small steps but important ones and you're tackling so many issues at once. have you had any professional advice - ie CAB, CCCS? They might be able to helo you work out a budget and how you can control your cash flow easier. If you did start a DMP with CCCS, for example, you would pay them one monthly sum and they would forward it to your creditors. That might take some of the stress away.

Hang in in there - you're coping brilliantly and things will get better. Just think how much extra you'll have when you pay off those arrears!!!

Stoffy

Hi Jay,

Have you looked at Virgin Media? I was currently paying £70+ per month for Sky TV , changed to Virgin Media and now pay as little as £45 per month for XL TV package, Large Broadband & medium phone line (free weekend calls too). This also cuts off the line rental you will be paying to BT/Sky too. I assume your paying for the sports/movie packages too. You should get rid of them whilst your struggling so much to make ends meet. You surely can't be getting the benefit of what your paying for anyway as you must spend most of your time with the kids or working towards your Uni placement.

Without sounding too judgemental, you say your husband is depressed yet he's working full time so obviously not off "on the sick" with depression. He also pays £40 per month for his footie while you are on here clearly sounding a lot more depressed than he sounds. Are you sure his "depression" is not just him sulking. (I only say this as I'm a 26 yr old man in a long term relationship, no kids, however I know in general women around the same age are a lot mentally stronger and can cope a lot better with stuff life can sometimes throw at them, men do tend to spit their dummies out a lot quicker, sorry men but its true). By reading what your saying on here you are working a lot harder than he is to raise your family/pay debts/work towards uni ect.

What does your husband do? If he works a 9 - 5 job maybe, as he drives too, maybe he could get a part time job as a delivery driver (fast food ect). I know a lot of people who deliver for chinese restaurants/domino's pizza ect. who are struggling to make ends meet and they can earn quite a bit working a few hours a few nights a week. Just a suggestion.

I do think you need to talk to him about these issues you are having though and come to a compromise on the luxuries you have and discuss your problems as a couple. Its not healthy to bottle your troubles up and I'm sure he wouldn't be happy knowing how down you are. If my wife/GF was as down in the dumps as you sound and there was something I could do to help her, I obviously would.

Please don't read these comments as a negative judgement on your husband, they're not meant to be. But hopefully you can speak with him and see if he's pulling as much weight as you are in the relationship as it doesn't sound like he is.

Good luck anyways x

mummyofboys

Stoffy wrote: »

Hi Jay,

Have you looked at Virgin Media? I was currently paying £70+ per month for Sky TV , changed to Virgin Media and now pay as little as £45 per month for XL TV package, Large Broadband & medium phone line (free weekend calls too). This also cuts off the line rental you will be paying to BT/Sky too. I assume your paying for the sports/movie packages too. You should get rid of them whilst your struggling so much to make ends meet. You surely can't be getting the benefit of what your paying for anyway as you must spend most of your time with the kids or working towards your Uni placement.

Without sounding too judgemental, you say your husband is depressed yet he's working full time so obviously not off "on the sick" with depression. He also pays £40 per month for his footie while you are on here clearly sounding a lot more depressed than he sounds. Are you sure his "depression" is not just him sulking. (I only say this as I'm a 26 yr old man in a long term relationship, no kids, however I know in general women around the same age are a lot mentally stronger and can cope a lot better with stuff life can sometimes throw at them, men do tend to spit their dummies out a lot quicker, sorry men but its true). By reading what your saying on here you are working a lot harder than he is to raise your family/pay debts/work towards uni ect.

What does your husband do? If he works a 9 - 5 job maybe, as he drives too, maybe he could get a part time job as a delivery driver (fast food ect). I know a lot of people who deliver for chinese restaurants/domino's pizza ect. who are struggling to make ends meet and they can earn quite a bit working a few hours a few nights a week. Just a suggestion.

I do think you need to talk to him about these issues you are having though and come to a compromise on the luxuries you have and discuss your problems as a couple. Its not healthy to bottle your troubles up and I'm sure he wouldn't be happy knowing how down you are. If my wife/GF was as down in the dumps as you sound and there was something I could do to help her, I obviously would.

Please don't read these comments as a negative judgement on your husband, they're not meant to be. But hopefully you can speak with him and see if he's pulling as much weight as you are in the relationship as it doesn't sound like he is.

Good luck anyways x

Thanks, no he does suffer with depression, anxiety and OCD, he was very bad about 6 months ago to the point of refusing to talk and having panic attacks alot. He went to the doctors with me and he is on daily medication... he just doesnt cope well with finances ect / well he does but it worries him. .. and im reluctant to put pressure on him after hes making a recovery. Plus last time when I did, he didnt really help much it just made things worse.
Sky I am locked in with at the moment but your right I am not really getting the benefit of it at the minute... I am not depressed, I just feel abit like I am always having to fight, and im worrying I am never going to be free of debt, it seems like most people my age dont have these worries yet I have to worry about even buying a coffee right now. My husband works 9-5 but has the kids whilst I work, I work hours such as 3-8 after college so he will collect the kids and give them tea and put them to bed ect so getting a part time job would be very difficult!