stressed , fed up and very down

mummyofboys

Hi

I dont know why im writting this, i feel abit down. I feel totally exhausted sp? I am currently finding paying bills hard.. I got married last month, im currently on an access to health course and have been accepted to go to uni for a nursing degree in Sept.

I have 2 kids both in childcare, and although i knew this year at college would be hard money wise ( cutting back hours ect) I feel like im in a hole I cant get out of. I am at college trying to make a better future but i feel im always in the red. I keep getting phonecalls from littlewoods( i hate them!) im currently trying to work as many hours as possible but for the past 3 weeks I have done 12 hour days and with one day off yesterday for my sons birthday which was with loads of kids and not very relaxing! today im due in at 3.30 and i feel so sad and fed up.

I normally earn 96 a week , my husband works fulltime, im at full time college however I have been working these extra shifts as a girl is off, but it doesnt seem to be helping. I dont have enough money to cover my basic outgoings and debt repayments. IM hoping this will get better in sept as I will be able to get my bursary ect there is little help for access courses which is 20 a week.

I just feel very fed up, and like although i am trying me best to pay things something always happens to screw it up! I feel like sacking the course or and getting fiulltime work however i know deep down this wont soolve my long term goals.

Im 24, it doesnt help my son is also undergoing cystic firosis tests this week as well as head scans as they think something is wrong.

I feel so stressed My husband has depression and is on medication, it feels like i have the whole burden incase i make his depression worse

feel alone

Sublime_2

Hi. No wonder you're feeling stressed and down, you've got a lot on your plate at the minute. Well done to you for all the things you're achieving/have achieved! :T

When you feel fed-up, think about the long term goals you are aiming for. They will be worth it, and also take time out for yourself, to do something that makes YOU happy. Hugs. xx

barbie_babe

ask college about money from their access grant. the money will be given to you if you tell them how you are struggling.

mummyofboys

they have already given my some off their grant in order to pay some of my childcare but i still just dont seem to have enough to live, i dont have many treats ect it seems to just be on day to day living and debs that ive ran up paying for things that have happened emergency wise car breaking down, washing machine breaking ect

Jesthar

Hi Jay

*hugs* (think you need one of those!)

Would stopping the phone calls from Littlewoods help? Because you are allowed to tell them "I don't want you to phone me any more, please communicate me in writing only", and then they HAVE to comply with that request. If they call you after that, there is a template letter you can send them to back up what you told them on the phone, and you can also report them to the Office of Fair Trading for breaking the laws

I had a friend who was harassed day and night by a major bank like this, and I so wish I had known then what I do now, it could have saved her so much heartache...

~Jes

mummyofboys

Thankyou

Does anyone know where I stand, I was harrassed constanly by capital one for a credit card payment of 40 and they literally wouldnt let me off the phone untill i paid it, once I did this i had no money for food! I had to borrow some money from my dad. I feel like im trying my best but somehow I feel like its not getting me anywhere Im upset as Ive worked really hard at college and was so proud of uni but now I just feel like i shouldnt be doing it as im putting my family through being so skint at the minute.

NeverAgain_2

Sounds like the debt callers are preying on your well-mannered nature.

I know it goes against the grain, but you may have to learn to put the phone down as they are talking and not answer it again.

Better still switch it off, or unplug it.

dancingfairy

I think anyone would be stressed by that lot:
1) marriage and wedding - stressful even if a positive sort of stress
2) ill child and uncertainty
3) ill husband
4) 2 children and house to run
5) doing college course
6) debts

Some things can't be sorted quickly easily but some can be perhaps managed a bit.
The debts you can get help with and indeed people on here can provide advice on that. In a realted vein are you husband and child getting as many benefits as they/you are entitled to? I would have a look on the entitled to website as a first port of call.
Whilst it's great you have been accepted for uni in September I wonder if postponing it for a year would help? This would hopefully enable you to get any diagnoses your child requires and any support - emotional, practical and financial in place as well. Hopefully things with your husband will have changed for the better too. It gives you another year to get a plan in place to tackle the debts without the added pressure of uni on top as well.
Regarding the debts I would go to the website makesense of cards and fill in the budget planner (SOA) to get a crystal clear idea of where you are right now with it all. I will try and post a link in a minute.
This will enable you to see whether you can meet your debt repayments right now, highlight any areas to be addressed etc. If you can't meet your repayments then you can start to consider things like a debt management plan (dmp) through one of the debt charities etc.
df

dancingfairy

SOA calculator is here:
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
along with a beginners guide to getting started here:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2976812 which is very useful
df

super_g

I have not posted much on these forums as I have brought problems of my own but it may be worth while for you to visit the CCCS website... it is referenced some where here... on this site: Consumer Credit Counselling Service Scotland (they cover England and Wales too)...

First of all congratulations on being accepted onto the Access to Nursing course... in hard times it is easy to forget the positive things.. but as you mention and remember that you embarked upon the course to better yourselve and your future... which is great... it must be the driving force that keeps you going... and yes.. having complete an Access to Nursing myself... bursary time is the best time..

We're still being harassed by Capital 1 for £50 so you are not alone... and I offered them £1 today... so let's see what happens... the money is not there and we too need the money for food.. so thank you Capital 1 for helping us in our time in need and sorry we cannot pay you back just yet... we ended up taking the phone off the hook too... as it was added pressure and stress... it was the only way but avoiding it is not easy either... you have to do the leg work and send them a letter or two... again and again explaining why you cannot pay... even if they refuse to listen... because when things do end up in court (depending on individual circumstances) then at least one looks like they have made every effort to remember their debt and pay whatever they can. Stick to your guns... a better life is a few months away!!!

dancingfairy

There is a letter on here somewhere that tells then that you don't wish to be communicated with by the phone and letter writing will be sufficient thank you very much - everybody knows where they stand then - less chance for them to lie/coerce/bully/threaten you in writing
If they persist they can be reported for harrassment and if enough people complain then they may receive a fine or have their licence removed.
Hopefully some kind person will provide a link for you.
df