unfounded child neglect claim do i have to let social services in

flippin36

I know it probably will never happen but my wish is that one day all homes with children will have routine, regular checks by social workers. I think this will stop people like OP from feeling there is a stigma into SS making enquiries. No one likes to think their parenting is in question but if it was routine to all there wouldn't be so much hostility/negativity towards SW's and they could get on with their job. I knew a childminder who had a visit from SS when a child in her care was injured and had an A&E visit. I asked her if she was upset about the visit but she said she was very impressed that SS acted so quickly into checking everything was ok in her home - she had nothing to hide.

pearl123

It would be best to co-operate with them. I think in your heart of hearts you know this. If you are not coping - then you need to see a doctor to check out if any medication can be improved or given.
If there are any issues in the house, then they will need to be addressed. If you are depressed you might not notice or be as concerned as you would with be with any area where there might be problems. Basic hygenie for example.
If you are well enough, then now is the time to get everything sort out. If you can pay to get someone to come in and give you a helping hand then great. Otherwise if the house is in a mess - then pick a corner and start !
And the end of the day children need to be safe and if there are no major issues in your home then you will have no problems. Try not to worry - just try and active yourself to improve your situation. If there are no issue in your house then they will go away quickly enough. It is important though not to be in denial if that make sense.

pigpen

flippin36 wrote: »

I know it probably will never happen but my wish is that one day all homes with children will have routine, regular checks by social workers. I think this will stop people like OP from feeling there is a stigma into SS making enquiries. No one likes to think their parenting is in question but if it was routine to all there wouldn't be so much hostility/negativity towards SW's and they could get on with their job. I knew a childminder who had a visit from SS when a child in her care was injured and had an A&E visit. I asked her if she was upset about the visit but she said she was very impressed that SS acted so quickly into checking everything was ok in her home - she had nothing to hide.

For those with under 5's that is supposed to be what the HV does.. check all is well.

Maybe if there were some good media stories about helpful SW's and good outcomes because I am sure there are some! There would be less stigma attached to it. If the SW's weren't so judgemental and looked at the families circumstances with compassion and a view to help rather than make the family feel like they are failing it would be more helpful too.

MY DS1 and Dil had Sw's involved when their little boy was born for a variety of reasons (none of them to do with me) and the SW actually said 'there is no reason a child of 16 would be allowed to keep her baby' .. they saw her as the person who was trying to take the baby away because that is what she hinted at every time they saw her.. that is neither helpful nor constructive. Se wasted thousands and thousands of pounds of funding. She left eventually they allocated a new SW who didn't understand why they were still being seen (which was what the HV, nursery nurse and everyone else had been saying for months) and closed the case immediately.

I understand why the OP would be scared and avoiding Ss intervention but in order to do this she needs to show them there is nothing for them to be concerned about.

rozmister

SS's came to my Mum's house when I was 13 after I was hospitalised for self harming (my Dad died when I was 12). It was a routine check and she had tea and biscuits with us and talked to me about school and my Mum about my Dad and her new boyfriend, looked round our house and in my bedroom and then she left. We never heard from them again! They have to follow up every single referral to protect children even if the parents are good parents. If they didn't follow up one and that child died there would be blood on their hands. They're just doing their job and by not letting them in you're obstructing this and meaning they have to keep trying to follow you up.

With your depression is there anyone that could help at home? How much does your other half help? When you're in crisis it is hard and that's why you need good supportive people around you, to keep things ticking over til you come out of crisis. If you don't have a support network maybe SS could help you find one.