unfounded child neglect claim do i have to let social services in

barbieC

hi there please help it has been the day from hell i was woken this morning to find my husband had let 4 police into my house they had, had a claim of child endangerment against us which has been ultimatley proved wrong, now i dont claim to be the best housewife in the world my house is somewhat untidy but my kids are clean well fed and happy. My prob is the police took pics of personal stuff in my house i didnt not know wot was going on my husband let them do this when i was asleep he thought it was for the best as i am currently in crisis with my depression.. i feel like i have been violated and they said social services will be in touch to come in the house even though we were proved that we didnt neglect our kids. I dont want them in my house this is causing me such stress and anguish i dont like strange ppl in my house... my house now feels like its no longer my home and my sanctuary can i stop them from coming in?

chocdonuty

I would have thought it best you do let them in, If you don't then obviously they will think you have something to hide. Social workers are just making sure the kids are ok and a follow up appointment is important either to clarify a few things and offer support that you may need.

rachbc

You can deny them access- but it would be a massive red flag that you were trying to hide something from them, even if this is not the case.

If you are struggling with depression this could be an opportunity to get some support?

pigpen

If you have nothing to hide and no issues then let them in.. they just ask a load of stupid questions and go away.. surely it is better to let them see there is no problem than send them away with the worry there might be.

I know what you are saying about it being your home and sanctuary but wouldn't you rather show them all is ok and he children are safe and well than have that doubt in their minds?

Some interfereing turd sent them to mine last summer days before i had the baby and I was really unwell and in massive amounts of pain and it was totally unfounded claptrap.. but they came they waffled they left and then they sent a report on each individual child.. most of their names spelled wrong my name wrong and mixed up between KH and OH.. complete farce...

Nicki

If the housework has got out of control while you have been ill perhaps it would be sensible to see if you can get back on top of things before social services come round? Do you have friends or relatives who might be prepared to help you blitz, or could you afford to pay for a professional clean.

I know you say that your kids are clean and well fed, but social workers can be very judgmental (my sister is one!) and as you have been forewarned that they are coming, you could avoid any red flags being raised about their environment. I've never had a social worker come to the house on a neglect complaint, but I have had them round to assess DD's needs as a disabled child, and they always want to check the child's bedroom and the central living spaces, I assume to make sure they are in a safe and habitable state.

elvis86

pigpen wrote: »

Some interfereing turd sent them to mine last summer days before i had the baby and I was really unwell and in massive amounts of pain and it was totally unfounded claptrap.. but they came they waffled they left and then they sent a report on each individual child.. most of their names spelled wrong my name wrong and mixed up between KH and OH.. complete farce...

..or possibly just someone who was concerned for a child's welfare and couldn't cope with the prospect of living with themselves should they do nothing and later discover the child came to some harm..?

I'm not saying that in your case, it wasn't malicious, I don't know your circumstances. But I think it's unhelpful to brand anyone reporting their concerns regarding a child as "interfering". In the case of the OP, if she's mentally ill and her house is a tip, perhaps she's given someone genuine reason for concern that they felt warranted action. If she's doing nothing wrong, she's got nothing to worry about.:cool:

Nicki

pigpen wrote: »

Some interfereing turd sent them to mine last summer days before i had the baby and I was really unwell and in massive amounts of pain and it was totally unfounded claptrap.. but they came they waffled they left and then they sent a report on each individual child.. most of their names spelled wrong my name wrong and mixed up between KH and OH.. complete farce...

It could have been malicious but at the time didn't you have 8 children, 4 of whom were disabled, and you had serious health problems and bad spd which made it hard to walk? I can understand in those circumstances why social services might just want to check that all was ok at home. Which isn't in any way to suggest you were neglecting your children, as you clearly weren't if no action was necessary, but you can see surely that some lesser mortals in your shoes would have been struggling mightily? My guess would be that it was a medical professional involved with you who made that call, and from the best of motives for you and your kids, rather than a neighbour with bad intent.

pigpen

No, she was interfereing and being malicious and all she gained was a dressing down and a complaint in her personal file.. there was absolutely no issue whatsoever with the children or the house just with my health. And no it wasn't anything to do with medical professions. If I wanted help I could ask.. and wouldn't be asking them.. I hadn't asked so obviously I was just fine. She actually thought it was disgusting having more than 2-3 children and had told me so.. that was her issue she didn't like my response so did this.

What I was offering with my experience was that the SW comes and asks a few questions and then goes away . it isn't worth worrying about if there is nothing untoward going on... I wasn't asking for other posters to butt in and offer opinion on my life or circumstances... It was meant to reassure the OP that it isn't all bad.. thank you though for your concern, it isn't needed .

What I don't understand is why the police were involved.. what horrors had they been told in order for the police to come??

We had SS round years ago too.. DS1 told a creche worker his dad had hit him with a spanner in his tummy and it was really sore .. he had a bad case of colic and just made up a story.. Around the same time I 'almost' had them round as DD1 had a 'cigarette burn' on her bottom... it was a strawberry birth mark and the same creche workers who knew what had gone on before and had been looking after DD1 weekly for 4 months had 'concerns'.. I said maybe they need to start changing nappies more often than once in 4 months if they'd not seen it before!

sueeve

At the moment the SW's will have concerns, and they will just magnify if you don't deal with them. The quicker they come and look the quicker it will be accepted that here is no need for concern. If you are really down etc they might even be helpful

elvis86

pigpen wrote: »

We had SS round years ago too.. DS1 told a creche worker his dad had hit him with a spanner in his tummy and it was really sore .. he had a bad case of colic and just made up a story..

So, having been told by a child that their father had hit them with a spanner (whether he was fibbing or not - they weren't to know), you would have preferred to creche workers to do what, exactly? Mind their own business?

delain

I'd let them in, as others (notably Pigpen) have said, they'll probably just ask some questions then go away.

I've had involvement with them through silly calls (my neighbour rang them because one of my twins was screaming on the way to school. I had said she couldn't take the argos catalogue in her book bag and me just carrying on as usual and ignoring the tantrum somehow means I can't cope, apparently!) and when DD1 was small my mum rang them say she didn't think there was any food and the baby wasn't being fed (which was absolute tosh, and shows what sort of mum she is really - if I'd been in her shoes and it was my DD and DGD and I'd thought there was no food I'd have gone to tesco and taken them food - even if only baby food for the baby!)

Even when my mum said there was no food the police never came, just a couple of social workers who insisted on looking in the kitchen cupboards (to see there was food!) and living room and DD1's cot (as she was still in my room at that point) and no one took photos of anything.

It's worrying that the police came and took photos, must have been quite an extreme complaint! You will only make things worse by refusing them entry.

Oh and would everyone stop digging at Pigpen? She's being helpful to the OP!