advice needed please...

Pixiechic

I don't see why you should leave at all.

If she wants to see another man then surely she can go and see him outside of the family home. Why can't she go round his house?

If she wants time to 'sort her head out' then she should go and do it. You are the main carer of the children so it would not be beneficial to them if you go.

Caroline73_2

Stay put and speak to a solicitor regarding your legal status.

As she is the one who wants to split up then she should go. She may be wanting to bring the other man there to force you out passively (if that makes sense, sorry I know what I mean).

I don't understand her 'time to sort her head', if she wanted that, she would have done it before getting involved with this other bloke.

I hope you get it sorted out.

Caroline73_2

I'd be inclined to keep a diary as well. If this progresses further and a custody battle happens, your primary parent role at the moment would be noted.

consultant31

Stick to your guns and refuse to leave the family home. It seems that she will let the children live with you rather than look after them herself - surely she can see that they shouldn't be uprooted just because she's got herself a 'bit of spare'.

I'm sure if you refuse point blank to consider leaving she will go because you're spoiling her plan for the future.

ETA: sorry, most of this has been said - I'm a slow typist

catfish50

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Check [entitled to] to see how much money you would be able to claim in benefits

What's the "entitled to" URL needed for? It just transfers you to the real benefits calculator which is at:

http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

Provided and paid for by registered charity Elizabeth Finn Care, so they should get the credit.

Mupette

If she wants you to leave, does she expect you to take the children
or does she expect you to go on your own?

if it is the second, i would be inclind to got to parents house for a week, and see how she copes without child care, i wonder how long the bloke will hang around too, no more going to the pub with him after work.

Shame you couldnt secretly film her this weekend ignoring her children and then show it to social services, sorry she seems unfilt to be a mother right now, who would neglect their children over a fling.

but if she wants you to leave with the kids, tell her to bog off you are not uprooting the children

catfish50

OP, are you on the children's birth certificate?

You have to be on their birth certificate to have parental rights.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954

sminch

I am on the birth certificate yeah.
She wants me to go on my own, I really dont think she would cope or that he would hang around for long. this is all one big mess and horrible for the kids.

Caroline73_2

DON'T GO! You don't want her saying you left and walked out on the children.

Sublime_2

Not much to add, but I agree that she should move out, if you are the main carer. Good luck.