advice needed please...

sminch

Me and my partner have been together for 6 years and have two children together.
She has been seeing another bloke, says nothing has happened yet but she texts him constantly and phones him few times a day goes for drinks after work with him few times a week. Has been doing this for a couple of months now.
She says wants me to leave so she can sort her head out, lol.
At the moment I have no bank account(partly due to my poor credit score but mainly because we used her account for everything always thought would be easier that way), nowhere else to go and stay. We jointly rent a house from housing association, they have advised me not to give up my party of tennancy yet, same advice was given to me by the council.
I have been looking to rent privately but cannot afford the bond and it is hard to find somewhere that my kids would also be able to come and stay over with me.
I work part-time and not sure what benefits I may be able to claim to help with cost of rent/council tax etc.
I don't want to break up our family I do still love her but situation is becoming unbearable, espicially for kids.
They have been suffering due to her working late, and not always coming home as they do not get very much time with her, apart from weekends when she spends most of her time texting or on internet anyway.
Any advice on any part of this would be welcome.
I have considered and mentioned counseling but was greeted with no response. I would like to save our relationship if it is at all possible.
Thanks.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Stay put and suggest she leaves to sort her head out?

And apply for a basic bank account using your current address.

sminch

Have applied for one now, just waiting to hear.

I have tried that she wont go, so suppose dont see why I should either then.

Forget to mention that they both work in same place as me, although it is a big company and building makes worklife awkward too and that she wanted to bring him home last night while I was here.

Auntie-Dolly

I would also suggest that she is the one to leave. You could claim child maintenance from her & any benefits due would help with the childcare while you work. If she is the one with issues, it hardly seems fair that you leave are the one to leave the family home.

pupsicola

I dont see why you should leave the family home. From what you write it seems that your are the responsible, stable parent. Her approach and behaviour toward your family life seems bizarre to say the least. Stay put and be the rock your kids need. Hope you get the bank account approved.

jackieglasgow

Sminch I think if she has asked to bring another man into your home while you are there, you have to accept that the relationship is not salvageable. Does she also work part time? Are you the main carer for the children? If so I would suggest that you ask her to leave, and you remain in the home with your children. Check entitled to to see how much money you would be able to claim in benefits if you are a single parent, and consider rebuilding your life, on your own, with your children. Good luck

sminch

She works full time. I am the main carer for them, she is adamant that she won't go.
I do think that they would be better off with me though.

jackieglasgow

Why do you think that?

sminch

her lack of interest/interaction with in them suggests that

jackieglasgow

Sorry I read your post as "...without me." That will teach me to speed read! I agree it sounds like they would be better off with you. Dig your heels in, and don't move. Don't rise to any baiting she may decide to do. She will eventually give up if she really wants a relationship with this other person, or she may realise she's a daft cow, apologise and try to repair your own relationship. One piece of advice I would offer though, is not to say anything bad to or about her in front of the children.

Bloomin_Freezing2

I agree, she should leave. She is the one coming home late and therefore missing out on time with her kids because she would rather spend time with this other man. She's putting her feelings for this guy above those of her children, I can't believe she wanted to bring him round! In my opinion, she's really taking the pee.

If you are the main carer, you should stay. Her leaving would cause the least disruption to the kids day to day activities.