struggling...seriously considering suicide

Hannah_10

It really is only money. Bankruptcy might be worth looking into, so might an IVA or a DRO or lots of other things with 3 letters (the CCCS are great and can tell you more). Not being able to stop spending means that Bankruptcy or another option might actually be great for you because you wont have any cards, without the means to run up the debt again you can't get back into trouble.

I think many of us have felt like this and paying it back over 33 years isn't the right option for everyone. If you look into what bankruptcy and other insolvancy options truly entail (not just what we assume they mean when we're scared) then you might find it's a lot better idea.

Nothing is worth ending your life over. There are people who love you.

When life hits the skids so badly you aren't even sure you want life anymore then it's time to get a bit more crative wih your options. You can try a radical solution before you die, but you can't try it after you die. Ring back and ask about insolvancy.

Firewalker

summerstreetallotments wrote: »

...over my debts...cant stop spending on the cards...never buy anything worthwhile, just try to cheer myself up...paying £100 a week in charges etc.

Killing yourself is not worth it - particualrly over debts. Taking control of the situation, on the other hand, is probably worth a go. What I am hearing is that you are a bit addicted to spending and I would urge you to approach the whole thing as an addict. I know about this - I have had a string of addictions (some healthy and some not so). Please do take deep breaths...then:

1. Go to the mirror, look at yourself and say - 'I am...and I am a spending addict.'
2. After that sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and answer the following questions (have to be honest, though):

"Why do I spend?"
"When do I spend?"
"What do I spend on?"

3. Take a different piece of paper. Imagine that someone rings the doobell and you are told that you have to live your place. You have 10 minutes to pack and will not be allowed to buy anything for a year. What are the 20 things that you will take with you? (it is important that you make this list quickly, without trying to be practical).

4. Looking at the list, what are the 10 things you will take with you? And what are the five things?

Congratulations! If you did this you have just worked out your 'protected wants' - this means that these are the things you will allow yourself to have. And watch how the attractiveness evaporates.

Worth a try - I developed this one to stop me spend. And the effect was immediate and very positive. I allow myself £10 per week and usually don't spend it.

Good luck - if you want to talk PM me.

Firewalker

joolsybools

Hi Summerstreets, cool username by the way, sorry you are feeling down. Martin and co who run the site have put together a guide that might help you, hopefully this link will work. Maybe you should also have a chat with your doctor or a friend or family about how you are feeling - there is no shame in it you know. Have a read of this and you will see you have some better options

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/mental-health-guide?utm_source=forum&utm_medium=clicks&utm_campaign=resourcebar

chipdouglas

Hi summerstreets, Debt is horrible, but it can be dealt with in diffrent ways. Its not the end of the world though.
You have made a start by seeking advice. There is not only CCCS out there but national debt line and also this forum which is a great help!
It may be advisable to sit down with your partner and explain what is happening as well. I was afraid to tell my family about our problems but felt a lot better when i finally admitted that we were in difficulty.
You have my support and i'm sure every one else's on this thread and forum!

Lucy1010

summerstreetallotments wrote: »

...over my debts...cant stop spending on the cards...never buy anything worthwhile, just try to cheer myself up...paying £100 a week in charges etc.

C.C.C.S. has been good but only want me to make payment offers...reckon if I did this it would take 33 years to clear debts if no interest added...my partner has no idea about all this , he'll go ballistic when he finds out....

Hey STA...

I hope you haven't done anything stupid!!

Just checking up on ya! See how all these lovely people care about you even though they don't know you? It's because some have walked in your shoes so please post and tell us that you are alive! IT IS ONLY MONEY, not worth dying over!

Please read what the the other OPs have said to you, some are in BIG debt but are getting through it. As one OP said, surely your OH would rather have you alive than have to bury you. Your life is valuable, you may have a sister/brother/mum/dad/auntie/uncle/cousin/nephew/niece etc that you will leave devastated! It's not worth it babes.

Hugs xxx

sickasachip13

Hey your life is worth so much more. Please, please don't do anything to hurt yourself. This is just money, although it seems like a humungous problem, it isn't so humungous that ending your life is a good choice. Your partner might go ape, but let him, it is what it is and his reaction isn't going to change it. Get it out in the open and then you can start dealing with with it.

You are worth more, so much more than these thoughts are letting you believe. The money you originally borrowed is being added to day by day by the banks so you know what? If they have to wait for years to get it / get a lot less than what is owed on paper, then tough sh ! t. Don't let the barstewards grind you down. There are always solutions and it's never worth ending your life over.

Please talk to someone about your feelings and investigate bankruptcy and the DMP route further.

FTW

summerstreetallotments wrote: »

...over my debts...cant stop spending on the cards...never buy anything worthwhile, just try to cheer myself up...paying £100 a week in charges etc.

C.C.C.S. has been good but only want me to make payment offers...reckon if I did this it would take 33 years to clear debts if no interest added...my partner has no idea about all this , he'll go ballistic when he finds out....

No, don't ever think that. Money can be replaced - you can't.

Most of the country's in debt, including the government.

You've acknowledged to yourself that you have a spending problem - you've overcome one of the most difficult parts of the problem.

When you say 'on the cards', what kind of cards do you mean - exclusively credit cards, or debit cards as well? Have debt collection agencies been involved?

We can help on the 'dealing with companies' side of things, but as regards your feelings, talk to - as another user's suggested - the Samaritans, but also your GP as well.

ghostmadlittlemiss

I noticed that in your other post, you mentioned that you are bi-polar. You definitely need to discuss these suicidal feelings with your doctor. If you're on any medication, you may need the dose changing and if not, you might be able to undergo a course of CBT. So make an appointment as soon as you're able to. In the meantime, call the Samaritans and talk this through with them or post more on here if you like. You'll find loads of support and reassurance within this board.

Something that Martin is fond is saying is, "There is no money problem without a solution." That's a paraphrase but it's close enough. You can get through this. I know right now these words might seem empty and meaningless to you, like someone saying, "The weather'll be nice tomorrow," when you're stuck in torrential rain. But it will pass and when this depressive episode lifts, you'll be able to find the path ahead of you again. Until then, take care of yourself and try to let us know how you're doing if you feel up to it.
Kayleigh

Jesthar

Honey, there aren't any money problems in the world that can't be fixed. You are far more important than any of them, and more valuable than all the money in the world. Hang on in there, and let us know how you're doing, hey?

*hugs*

~Jes

summerstreetallotments

...Thanks for all your words of help...I am still taking it all in...am terrified of life without a credit card because I have a son and dont want him to go without..also, my partner now knows a bit about it and is understandably furious (he's always left all the money to me as he only ever spends money on alcohol...he's not an alcoholic , but never ever sees the point of spending money on anything else - so I had to take it all on years ago).

Thing is as I'm so depressed I love shopping , it gives me a small burst of happiness, I dont have a job due to the depression...but I know the government is going to stop the benefits and push me into something soon...I'm trying to make an effort to get over it, having the debt adds to my depression I think, but I cant stop spending...always think life will be better if I buy just one more thing...cupboards here are overflowing, have just recently bought 14 beauty gift sets...anyway...thanks....xx