Daughter keeps running away

RainbowChild_2

I am posting here to see if anyone has any advice.

Recently my 14yo DD became involved with "the wrong crowd" and has become very abusive and uncontrollable at home and at school.

She was permanently excluded from school and is now attending an inclusion unit awaiting a transfer to another school.

Last night she told me she was staying at a friends round the corner and was brought home by the police at midnight as her and 2 friends were found hiding in the kitchen of an elderly man who in the police officers words was "off his face". She will not elaborate on who this man is.

She absconded again at 1am this morning and I reported her missing straight away. SHe came home at 10.30 this morning and was rude to the officer.

I locked the front and back doors so she couldn't get out. Unfortunately/stupidly I fell asleep at 2pm this afternoon as I have been awake for over 24 hours. OH came home half an hour ago and the kitchen window is wide open, she has gone again and broken the casing and fixings of the window in the process.

I am once again at my wits end and don't know how long I should leave it before telling the police that she has gone again.......do I need to leave it until later this evening?

Savvy_Sue

I'd tell them now. If she is already 'known' as being 'at risk' (and it sounds as if she is!) then they'll start looking now rather than later.

I wish I could give some more helpful advice. Are Social Services involved?

Is there anything like this in your area?

RainbowChild_2

Thanks Sue I will ring them now. OH thinks they will laugh because it's daylight but I agree that she is at risk


ETA: I have called them and they said they will be round within the hour

ellay864

I do hope you get the support you need as you're going through this. Years ago my mum and dad went through similar problems with my brother at a similar age, though my dad then died when my brother was 15. My mum tried everything but the police were hopeless, though quick enough to get on the scene when he resorted to car theft. At the moment you are obviously and rightly concerned with her welfare, but if the police are made aware you're also showing a responsibility as she may end up doing things that could put other people at risk.
(((big hugs))) to you and I hope you can get her and yourself the help you need

mandi

Hi Raindow

What a difficult situation to be in . I know this might seem odd but when I had problems with my son I contacted Childline for advice.

http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=childline&utm_campaign=childline%2Bexact%2Bmatch

0800 1111

Counting_Pennies_2

Someone listed on here before about a boot camp for kids off the rails. Not sure if I can find it, someone might provide the link.

I wonder if this might be worth a go, if she goes off for several months and away from the crowd, she might get back on track

RainbowChild_2

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Someone listed on here before about a boot camp for kids off the rails. Not sure if I can find it, someone might provide the link.

I wonder if this might be worth a go, if she goes off for several months and away from the crowd, she might get back on track

I will have a search I tried once before but thought they were only in the US

churchrat

hello
what a dreadful time for your family.
Are you sure that her behavoiur is only due to her friendship group? I ask because my dd also had terrible problems at her age, although hidden a little because she also had extreme physical ill health. My dd has recently been diagnosed with a mental health problem, which looking back, was evident for many years.

Have you spoken to your gp or had any mental health advice for her? I know that getting the right sort of help for children can be VERY difficult, but it is there if you push for it.

good luck.

RainbowChild_2

churchrat wrote: »

hello
what a dreadful time for your family.
Are you sure that her behavoiur is only due to her friendship group? I ask because my dd also had terrible problems at her age, although hidden a little because she also had extreme physical ill health. My dd has recently been diagnosed with a mental health problem, which looking back, was evident for many years.

Have you spoken to your gp or had any mental health advice for her? I know that getting the right sort of help for children can be VERY difficult, but it is there if you push for it.

good luck.

Hi Thanks for your reply, we have a referral appointment for the local CAMHS service for her later this month. I also have Bipolar Disorder which makes it difficult for me to cope.

rev229

We have had difficulties with our DS14. He is already under the care of CAHMS. Things got worse over xmas and we self referred to social services they have been very good and we have been having extra support from them. The police have also been excellent as he walked out on new years eve. They brought him back and told us to contact them any time we were concerned about his whereabouts. Perhaps social service could help you. CAMHS may help by bringing the appointment forward. No real help for you as we too are trying to work out what goes on in a 14yr old head.

RainbowChild_2

rev229 wrote: »

We have had difficulties with our DS14. He is already under the care of CAHMS. Things got worse over xmas and we self referred to social services they have been very good and we have been having extra support from them. The police have also been excellent as he walked out on new years eve. They brought him back and told us to contact them any time we were concerned about his whereabouts. Perhaps social service could help you. CAMHS may help by bringing the appointment forward. No real help for you as we too are trying to work out what goes on in a 14yr old head.

Thank you I will contact social services in the morning.....still no sign of her and she won't answer her phone