arguement over a baby monitor

asdash

If you read the FSID website, they seem to suggest that having one of the 'shop bought' monitors dosen't seem to make much differance. The monitors pick up when the baby stops moving, and doesn't register breathing.

Another thing to note is, if the baby DID stop breathing would you know what to do ? - You can go on first aid courses.

In familes with a history of SIDS, the Hospital will provide Apneoa monitors (which attach to the baby, not go under the baby) But they are only given out after the family has had training in infant resusitation

Andrea

pigpen

GobbledyGook wrote: »

When people say 'it's only really any good if you would know what to do if baby stopped breathing' - I think all new parents should be shown basic baby CPR in hospital the way the parents of premature babies are.

They aren't all shown, I've had 6 prem babies and never been shown ... in 5 different hospitals.

Usually if the alarm goes off that kick starts them, but rubbing their tummy or jiggling them does too.. it is if that fails you hit problems.. cpr is hugely ineffective in most cases sadly..

I agree that all parents should be taught it too.

hulagirl79

I am first aid trained so i hope i would know what to do but that being said i have seen people who are first aid trained just stsnd stunned when they need to do something. On my last first aid course there was 8 parents who were just thete to learn cpr etc for there children. X

twi1ight

To them it might seem like, If you have the chance to learn from their misfortune and somehow do something to protect yourself and your baby but choose not to, then their baby died for absolutely nothing and nothing in the world will change because of it. You often see with grief that people want to do something to prevent other people going through the same experience. Eg raise money for a research charity, increase awareness of the condition/illness/risk.

Mojisola

hulagirl79 wrote: »

I agree there are bigger and more important things going on in the world and in my life, my partner called me this morning to tell me his best friend was organising a night out for his other half and mutual friends and that we would not be invited as In his words " she didnt want our advice, we know more than she does about children so we assume she would not want to socialise with us" my other half was stunned, he was there when i spoke to them and heard everything i said. I didnt say anymore than i wrote on here and think this is unfair. I will give them some distance and hopefully it will all blow over.

Good for you for rising above these comments.

It may be that in a while when their emotions settle down they will be really embarrassed that they have said these things to people.

Alternatively, they may turn into one-track campaigners who, like some reformed smokers, just won't let the matter go.

RedwoodBrook

twi1ight wrote: »

To them it might seem like, If you have the chance to learn from their misfortune and somehow do something to protect yourself and your baby but choose not to, then their baby died for absolutely nothing and nothing in the world will change because of it. You often see with grief that people want to do something to prevent other people going through the same experience. Eg raise money for a research charity, increase awareness of the condition/illness/risk.

It is very irrational thinking, but you are probably right.

With regards to wanting to help others, My OH and I are getting married in June, and have requested that all of our guests make a donation to SANDS (the stillbirth charity) in place of any wedding gifts they may want to give to us.

GobbledyGook

hulagirl79 wrote: »

I agree there are bigger and more important things going on in the world and in my life, my partner called me this morning to tell me his best friend was organising a night out for his other half and mutual friends and that we would not be invited as In his words " she didnt want our advice, we know more than she does about children so we assume she would not want to socialise with us" my other half was stunned, he was there when i spoke to them and heard everything i said. I didnt say anymore than i wrote on here and think this is unfair. I will give them some distance and hopefully it will all blow over.

Thanks for your advice
x

That's very sad. They'll end up quite lonely if they think that losing a child gives them the right to say whatever they want regarding other people's children.

RedwoodBrook

GobbledyGook wrote: »

That's very sad. They'll end up quite lonely if they think that losing a child gives them the right to say whatever they want regarding other people's children.

+1. Couldn't agree more.

galvanizersbaby

GobbledyGook wrote: »

That's very sad. They'll end up quite lonely if they think that losing a child gives them the right to say whatever they want regarding other people's children.

I'm a bit confused - is it their daughter they lost or their niece and do they themselves have any other children?

fishingcinema

Hi there

No i do not think you are in the wrong, i think as another poster said it's obveiously still a raw subject for them and if they did not have one of the monitors themselfs prehaps they feel some what guilty for not having one and trying to make others aware if that makes sense.

My own experience in this kind of thing is that in may 2005 my sil lost her 10day old baby to cot death, whilst i was heavily pregnant with my first that was born in june 2005, i peosonaly i was devistated at the loss of my nephew and also went through terrible guilt questioning why her not me ect. when my little girl was born i had already decided to go out and spen over £100 on the angelcare baby monitor with sensor mat in light of loosing my nephew.

I was constantly checking her, checking she was still breathing whilst asleep constantly on edge, And when my little one was 10 days old i do not think i slept at all through fear.

Whilst the monitors are good they can frighten the life out of you with false alarms it happened several times with me and can put and already edgy person even more on edge.