arguement over a baby monitor

jcr16

i can see both sides of the arguement. and i don't feel there is any right or wrong.

i've had 3 children , never used that sort of monitor and never plan to. i've heard to many stories about it turning parents completely paranoid and then to the other extreme when they have relied so much on the machine that when there was a prob because the machines alarm didn't go off they didn't worry or check the baby.

Every one has to make a choice for themself's, based on how they feel about it . With parenting as i've found your first child more so, but with all yoru children as each is different. children area huge learnign curve. you may think a product is fantastic can't live without it. buy it and think , i so don't need that what a waste. and then equally not buy something as you think i'll never need it, then realise once you've bought it, how did i live without it.

a way to approach it would be to say , thankyou for your advice. were currently reasearching all different monitors and will make a desison later on . they are prob just trying to stop a friend go through what they went throught but as it all still raw but not wording it very well.

JoJoB

I bought one of these monitors after reading a post on here from a woman who's baby DID stop breathing and she was alerted by the monitor. Without it she wouldn't have known there was a problem and the consequences may have been dire.

It's up to you - I lent mine out to a friend when my DD got older but she felt comfortable enough not to use it. As a new mum it helped me sleep, instead of checking my DD's breathing every ten minutes. The first few weeks the responsibility and worry can be overwhelming so I found it helpful in this regard. I used to be a nanny too so thought I knew what would be involved, but it really is very different when it is your own.

Above all the grieving parents are simply doing anything they can to prevent other parents suffering in the way they have.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Quite often when someone becomes pregnant for the first time anyone and everyone likes to offer advice of what's the best way to do things. Clearly your partners friend has suffered the most unimaginable loss, so I agree to not be too hard on him - even though his comment was harsh to say the least.

If anyone else suggests you buy something you don't want/haven't thought of just say 'thanks for your advice, I hadn't thought of that. It's definately something i'll look into'

Good luck with your pregnancy, and be prepared for some well meaning busybodies along the way (not that ths friend was being a busybody, I think his grief got the better of him).

hulagirl79

I already feel so protective about little spud ( not sure why we have named him that but i like it) lol i dont want to become one of them over protective mum's and i do think i will become paranoid enough. I have lots of friends who were nannies then had there own kids and seen the look of shock when they realise how tough it is. So i am trying to prepare myself as much as i can. I understand they are grieving and would never want anyone to go through what they have.
What i said was we have already been bought a monitor so will probably use that but i will look into the one they are talking about to find out more info.
Thanks.

gone4gold62

hi i can see both side to this i lost a daughter 27 years ago and yes its somthing that you learn to live with .so when all my three grandchildren were born i bought a monitor for each of them that clips to the nappie,and my own two children indulged me by putting them on their babies ,and all was ok but my daughter in law only puts hers on the baby intermitently and thats fine its her decision ,but my own paranoia wont let me have any of the babies to stay over night until they are past six months ,just do what feels right for you and your child .but most of all enjoy as they are only babies once .

chanie

When I was pregnant with DS, I was paranoid about EVERYTHING and I did look at getting one of these monitors. I went onto the SIDS website (I think somebody else provided the link) and they stated that there was no evidence it would help.

In the end, we got a basic monitor, but to be honest, in the early days, we kept in the room we were in - so if we were in the living room, we'd have a Moses basket downstairs and if we were in the bedroom, he'd be in the cot. Again, that wouldn't prevent SIDS, but it made me feel better knowing he was next to me.

I think all you can do as a parent is to take the advice on the site - baby in a cot/moses basket, don't overheat, feet to foot etc.

WestonDave

Not sure if its still the case but when our first was new born someone bought us one of these mat monitors, however it couldn't be used with a sprung cot mattress. We'd bought the mattress as we wanted it as a long term cot bed mattress rather than a cheaper cot one that would be grown out of so that rendered the monitor pointless and we had it exchanged for a simpler one. (We got 6 years use out of the mattress so I think it was a fair decision).

Having said that the one we got was one of these with a temperature monitor on it. DS1 was born in January so we sort of kept an eye on his room temperature - however come the first hot day in June this thing started going ballistic as the room was "over temperature". Yeah its over temperature because the weather is steaming hot - what are you supposed to do, fit air con for the kid? So at that point we switched the temperature alarm off and just kept the display!

Technology is great but it can only work alongside good parenting, not replace it!

January20

If they care so much, perhaps they could buy you that monitor?

I didn't even have a monitor when my dd was born! Many generations survived without any. Although they can be useful of course, it's amazing how manufacturers make us feel we need so many of the gadgets they want to sell us.

mum2twinsx2

I think its personal thing. If you feel you need one then get it.
I use them as i had two sets of twins who were premature. I think i would use them if they weren`t premature. I like the peace of mind. Plus my youngest girl twin had apnea so was very much needed. She is almost five and still has a monitered this time supplied from the hospital.

gratefulforhelp_2

tattycath wrote: »

That's a very harsh comment-yes they are grieving, so their rationale will probably be on the extremely cautious side-that does not make them idiots.

I said they had made an idiotic comment, not that they were idiots, and then went on to make it clear that I understood their reasons.

What they said was potentially very hurtful.