Can i nominate a next of kin

escortg3

tattyuk75 wrote: »

You really shouldn't need to defend yourself to some stranger on the internet making wild assumptions, it's none of their business AND has nothing to do with your original query!!

I am in a similiar situation to you as far as how to protect yourself and how to make sure that the right people are making decisions for you, when the time comes...I would like my partner (together coming up for two years) to make decisions and arrangements should anything happen to me, but it would probably be my father as we are not married, he, on the other hand is still married, although in divorce proceedings...so if anything happened to him, it would be his current wife, followed by his parents...then me last of all as things stand, so I am reading this thread with interest.

thankyou for your post

sixlittleimps

Those next of kin cards are great, I carry one. I also have a living will in my satchel, my coat and my walking rucksack (I normally have at least one of these three things with me at all times ad it is too big for my wallet) - the note telling emergency staff to look for it is written on the back of my next of kin card.

I did it because my mom believes in life support and invasive measures that I just don't. While I'm happy to be given blood and patched up I wouldn't want to be hooked up to a machine that breathed for me or have an organ transplant. We draw the lines in different places. My next of kin card states a long term friend (my oh knows this) and my living states my wishes on things like resuscitating, life support etc. Living wills are contentious but are usually respected by medical staff if they are present at the time of response which is why I carry with me. If you don't carry it they can't acknowledge it. I know of friend's father who had a living will and had a heart attack in the street. Medical staff arrived in an ambulance to begin resuscitation and were not happy to stop until my friend had run home, got the will and shown them it. There is always still the chance that an arrogant doc will ignore my wishes because of the shaky legal standing of a living will but I have done as much as I can to give my opinion on options I may not be conscious of when decisions are needed. I also have a normal will that discusses disposal of remains as well as goods to make sure I get my way on that too.

It looks like a lot of paranoia when I am only 30 but it makes sure that everyone knows where they stand well in advance of any situation that needs these guidelines in place. It gave me great piece of mind to get it organised.

Alter_ego

escortg3 wrote: »

Well 15 years together was not a night in a casino. He cheated after we had been together 5 years then became an alcoholic. Stayed for the childrens sake until they was older. My partners wife stole and cheated on him after 9 years together. Sometimes you never really know someone until you are well and truly involved in a marriage.

You seem to be anticipating the same will happen if you marry your present partner???

Savvy_Sue

escortg3 wrote: »

My partner has spoke to funeral director and they have told him if his dad came in as next of kin he would be able to arrange funeral and i wouldnt have any say

but if you got in first and said you were paying, I'm sure the FD wouldn't have any problem at all accepting that!

shellsuit

It's whoever has the death cert that counts, not who is holding out the cash first.

mum2one

Surely you can do a pre-pay furneral and that would be as you want it, no need for any disagreements as its all been done by the person themsleves.

Savvy_Sue

shellsuit wrote: »

It's whoever has the death cert that counts, not who is holding out the cash first.

ah yes, I was forgetting that detail.

And that could be an issue. You can't get any old Tom !!!!!! or Harry to report a death. I can't remember the details, but it has to be someone who was there, or a close relative, or ... or ... or ... and I am not sure where unmarried partners fit in that list.

Mojisola

https://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029642
Who can register a death
If the person died in a house or hospital, the death can be registered by:
a relative
someone present at the death
an occupant of the house
an official from the hospital
the person making the arrangements with the funeral directors

Deaths that occurred anywhere else can be registered by:
a relative
someone present at the death
the person who found the body
the person in charge of the body
the person making the arrangements with the funeral directors

Most deaths are registered by a relative. The registrar would normally only allow other people if there are no relatives available.

The last bit is the problem.

Craftyscholar

Thanks for raising this question, escortg3.

It has made me think about my own situation and realise that there does not seem to be a legal definition of 'next of kin' apart from spouse, parent, child.

I was an only child, both my parents were only children, I have no husband or children. I have xmas/birthday card contact with some cousins, but that is about it for family.

I do have two local friends listed in my diary as 'please contact' if I was in an accident or going into hospital, but I would not want to put greater responsibility on to them (they have their own families to worry about).

vwelsh13

I could be wrong but I think you can have someone "displaced" as next of kin ..but think its only concerned with mental health act??