I dont know what to do??

shellsuit

ailuro2 wrote: »

I think you need to be clear in the way you communicate with people - hate to say it, but are you a bit scatterbrained or something?

It strikes me as odd that your MIL would go out and buy stuff for sandwiches without checking with you first, and also odd that you'd not tell her your friend has already said she would do them. Also the comment from your friend about turning up early to make sure everything is organised....


That makes me suspect other people don't think you're capable of doing stuff for yourself. I might be way off the mark here though!

Your friend does sound a bit weird though...pop into hers this morning to pick the stuff up, and give her the money for it - tell her you're sorry there was a mix up, that you didn't think to say to your MIL that it was already organised.

If she doesn't have the stuff to give you, then you'll know she was lying.;)

Good idea

She doesn't half sound like a right drama queen though, that would do my nut in as I'm not very good with needy people!

Any

immortalprincess wrote: »

YOU ARE way off the mark here.

My friend just asked me at the weekend if she could do the sandwiches, I havent seen my MIL hence the reason why she didnt know. Didnt realise I HAD to tell my MIL everything.

The reason my MIL and my friend is asking to help is because my daughter has been ill and was in hospital over the weekend.

You know you really shouldnt be so assumptious about people!

Your friend is weird and you seem too affraid of any argument that you are pandering to her whims.

She is needy and a stalker. Do not dare to appologise for this situation, say what has been suggested before "mil has done it without consulting me and as you didn't buy anything I didn't see a problem."

However I also find it weird that your MIL just goes off and buys stuff without checking with anyone first...

pinkshoes

Your friend does sound a little intense and odd, BUT... as you told her she could make the sandwiches, then the correct thing to do would have been to tell your MIL that friend was already making the sandwiches.

This may sound odd, but I bet she was really looking forward to doing it, as it made her feel useful and part of something, and probably only said she hadn't bought anything as she could tell by your voice that you were going to let her down.

Odd friend or not, I think you let her down here, and owe her an apology.

heretolearn_2

IYKWIM - what does this mean?

shellsuit

heretolearn wrote: »

IYKWIM - what does this mean?

If You Know What I Mean.

Any

pinkshoes wrote: »

Your friend does sound a little intense and odd, BUT... as you told her she could make the sandwiches, then the correct thing to do would have been to tell your MIL that friend was already making the sandwiches.

This may sound odd, but I bet she was really looking forward to doing it, as it made her feel useful and part of something, and probably only said she hadn't bought anything as she could tell by your voice that you were going to let her down.

Odd friend or not, I think you let her down here, and owe her an apology.

Sorry, I find this unreasonable...
MIL already bought the stuff, without telling OP. What was she supposed to do - tell her to throw it away?

Any reasonable friend (well, any person really) would see that OP had no option. I am sure she would have told MIL that the friend was already doing sandwiches if she was given the chance.

The friend's reaction was way over the top.
If OP has a child in hospital AND birthday party to prepare AND MIL who doesn't bother checking with her first, she has enough on her plate to deal with stropy "friend" as well.

Only my opinion of course.

Any

shellsuit wrote: »

If You Know What I Mean.

Thanks for that, I had no idea either.

somethingsgottogive

I'm confused as to why people seem to be implying that the MIL 'went off and bought stuff without bothering checking/consulting...' She, uh, only bought some sandwich stuff, she's not the devil Y'know that whole evil MIL thing's just a stereotype right? All she did was try and help out. My MIL would probably just bring stuff over and say 'if you don't need it for the party, use it for lunches in the week'

The clingy friend does seem a bit unbalanced, but hopefully she'll let you explain that it's all just a big misunderstanding. Maybe you should use her tendency to copy you to your advantage - look on https://www.meetup.com for a free/low cost thing to go to that you think SHE'D really enjoy, go for a couple of months with her and when she's made a few friends there taper off your attendance .. 'OH has to work late, family coming round for a birthday etc... maybe she just needs a push towards other people and away from you being the centre of her social life?

Good luck with the party!

euronorris

Any wrote: »

Your friend is weird and you seem too affraid of any argument that you are pandering to her whims.

She is needy and a stalker. Do not dare to appologise for this situation, say what has been suggested before "mil has done it without consulting me and as you didn't buy anything I didn't see a problem."

However I also find it weird that your MIL just goes off and buys stuff without checking with anyone first...

It is a bit odd of the MIL, but, I know my Mum would also go off and buy stuff, even if I told her there was no need to. But at the same time, she wouldn't be offended if there weren't laid out or eaten, as she knows they'd get eaten another day anyway.

I do think it's a bit unfair of Ailuro to suggest that the OP is scatterbrained because she didn't call the MIL to tell her of the planning/organisation. Unless I was specifically asking someone for help, or they called and asked if I needed help, then I don't see any reason for them to be told anything other than the place and time of the party.

shouldstopspending

I'd not be letting this friend anywhere near any food that me or my loved ones would possibly be eating. She sounds a bit nuts.. who knows what ingredients she'd be planning.