Just can't cope any more

longhauladdict

Hi Matt

Just been reading through the thread and hope you're feeling ok.
My dad has just recently been diagnosed with cancer and it is an awful time so big hugs to you and your family. However please don't just ignore the creditors, the stress of them trying to contact you etc will just make it worse.
I would write to each of them and tell them honestly your current situation and offer token payments to be reviewed in 6 months. I have done that for my mum who is on a DMP and most have accepted. The other thing about a DMP is that the creditors may stop the interest on the cards/loans which means that every penny you pay will go off the balance rather than just keep paying the interest.
I agree that CCCS have been fantastic with my mum- give them a call and see what they say.

Aslo, is there anyone you can talk to at work, HR or your manager and ask if they could give any extra support ie, if they are a big company they may have an employee helpline who can help out. I work in HR and one of the things we offer if we can is reduced hours for a shorter period of time whilst you sort things out. It might be worth speaking to them?

I remember 2 years ago when I found out about my mum's debt and how sick I felt- but I know she is 100% happier now that its all being dealt with and she is making inroads.

keep posting and let us know how you are xxx

battyboimatt

Hilonghauladdict thanks for your support guys, our HR department does have a councilling service which they have no problems refering me to, but I dont need counceilling, I cant bleed my heart out to strangers you guys are so nice also thanks Georige if I had a hat too id flick the front in acknodlgment.

Thanks

RAS

battyboimatt wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]Unsecured Debt [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Description [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Debt(£) [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Monthly(£) [/FONT][FONT=&quot]APR(%)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Credit Card MBNA [/FONT][FONT=&quot]800 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]25 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Credit Card MBNA [/FONT][FONT=&quot]700 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]25 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Credit Card MBNA [/FONT][FONT=&quot]750 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]25 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]26[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Capital One [/FONT][FONT=&quot]1265 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]40 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]26[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mint [/FONT][FONT=&quot]656 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]12 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]22 - whats the limit on this card?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Ulster Bank [/FONT][FONT=&quot]821 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]22 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24 - whats the limit on this card?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Asda Credit Card [/FONT][FONT=&quot]1900 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]56 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24 [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Barclaycard [/FONT][FONT=&quot]473 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]10 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]16 - whats the limit on this card?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]JJB [/FONT][FONT=&quot]1000 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]25 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Thomas Cook [/FONT][FONT=&quot]382 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]12 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]17[/FONT]- whats the limit on this card?

[FONT=&quot]Opus [/FONT][FONT=&quot]852 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]30 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]28[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Very [/FONT][FONT=&quot]129 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]5 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]39[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Lloyds [/FONT][FONT=&quot]703 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]20 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24 - whats the limit on this card?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Donate & Spend [/FONT][FONT=&quot]450 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]20 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]19[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Fullham [/FONT][FONT=&quot]400 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]20 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mywolrd [/FONT][FONT=&quot]850 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]25 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Silver [/FONT][FONT=&quot]800 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]20 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]19[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Flybe [/FONT][FONT=&quot]3900 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]119 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Hilton Credit Card [/FONT][FONT=&quot]800 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]27 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]28[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Aqua [/FONT][FONT=&quot]250 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]16 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]34[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Vanquis [/FONT][FONT=&quot]500 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]19 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]34[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Natwest Credit Card [/FONT][FONT=&quot]200 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]30 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]24 - whats the limit on this card?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Creation PC Parts [/FONT][FONT=&quot]1800 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]60 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]10[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Overdraft Natwest [/FONT][FONT=&quot]475 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]20 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]19[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Unsecured Debt totals [/FONT][FONT=&quot]21856 [/FONT][FONT=&quot]683[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

Hi

You may be able to start tackling this debt a few other ways.

To start with you have three cards which are on very high APRs. If you can reduce the amount on those, your situation will start to improve.

Do you have any stuff around the house that you no longer use? Could you do a car boot sale? Or flog it on AMazon or E-bay?

The other thing is that the rather random amounts on some of the lower rated cards. Does this mean that there is any spare capacity on these cards? If so, it may be possible to gradually shift the very expensive debt over and save yourself 10-12% interest, which will start to reduce your problem and make your payments more effective.

MiaowMiaow

Hi Matt just a quick message to say stay strong, I'm not great on the advice front but listen to everyone on here and if your not sure ask. Wishing you well x

ms_london

Hi Matt

I know how hard it is to be worrying about debt, but coping with your dad being ill too - I am really sorry to hear that, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed! If you don't have much time with your dad, that has to be your priority, at the end of the day, the being in debt part isn't as important as health & family, so lets try and help you with the debt side of things so that it gives you a little less to worry about.

First step is to cancel EVERY direct debit for your creditors, the unsecured debt, then you need to work out a budget, write to them ALL saying that you are experiencing financial difficulty, and offer them a token payment. If you can only afford £1 each at the moment, that is what you offer - some will be good and accept your proposal, others will try and haggle. Be cheeky and ask if they can reduce or freeze interest, this worked for me and a couple of my creditors did actually remove the interest! Also, think about whether you can balance transfer the debt with the higher APR's to the cards with the lowest - just be honest with them, and don't agree to a repayment you can't afford - you do have a lot of creditors who will be fighting for a piece of their money, they don't care if you can't afford to pay the other creditors!

Doing this will buy you some time, even if just the next month's payments to sit and think about what you can afford. Yes you are living at home, but you pay them rent and this does need to be included in your budget, just like the other essential expenses you have listed above - these are your priority.

You mention your job is unsecure, are you on a contract, or just a feeling you get? You need to account for this too - so probably a good time to negotiate with your creditors, as if you do lose your job (and hopefully you wont), you will need to do it anyway, if you have no income, they can't get a repayment. Usually the creditor will agree a fixed repayment for a period of say 6 months, and then they usually reassess your circumstances, and you can tell them that if your circumstances do change, you will be in touch. When you have worked out what you have left to repay to your creditors, say £200 a month, it would make sense to snowball this amount, and pay a higher percentage to the creditor who is charging the highest APR. whatsthecost.com has a calculator to help you with this.

I used to have debt of £19,000 so a similiar amount and almost just as many creditors, so this advice is what I did - and yes there are debt management companies who can help on your behalf, but I found it took so long to get an appointment with any of them, I wanted to get the ball rolling and deal with it myself. Log onto your internet banking today (or call them) and cancel these direct debits / standing orders pronto. That will give you a bit of space to breathe, otherwise they will take the minimum repayments and it will be another month where you are robbing peter to pay paul.

I am really sorry to hear about your dad, sounds like you have a lot going on, but don't let the debt rob you of the precious time you have left with your dad - the debt will still be there.

Sending you a hug! xx

BigCraigJohn

You have lots of creditors and morally correct or not there is bound to be atleast a few completely unenforceable debts in there. If you send a £1 you can request a copy of the agreement, if they are unable to produce it or its wrong the debt would be legally unenforceable ie no ccj.
Google: all about debt forum, and have a look around the site, theres templates and you can get personalised advice on dealing with creditors re unenforceable agreements, cant post a link here but with that many different creditors i'd be shocked if there were not atleast a few that cant deliver.
This is just another option btw, some people claim its a way of getting out of paying debts, get all high and mighty however unfortunately the banks contribute to the problem and in fairness should take better care when pushing credit in your face 24/7. At the end of the day the agreements in place to protect you as much as them and you can bet they will use it against the debtor in a second.

bluebag

battyboimatt wrote: »

Hilonghauladdict thanks for your support guys, our HR department does have a councilling service which they have no problems refering me to, but I dont need counceilling, I cant bleed my heart out to strangers you guys are so nice also thanks Georige if I had a hat too id flick the front in acknodlgment.

Thanks

Hi, so sorry to hear about your dad, it's hard going I know.

I found macmillan were brilliant at helping me claim everything that my parents were entilted to, they even filled in the forms for me.

It made such a difference to my parents and relived me of a load of worry.

When such illness strikes, people don't react the way you expect and it can make it difficult to cope, macmillan helped me understand and deal with that.

Get all the help you can, there is lots out there. You don't have to do this alone.

I wish you and your family all the best.

MiaowMiaow

Hi Matt how is everything going? Hope you are well xx

battyboimatt

Hi Guys,

Thanks for all the messages of support, it is very much welcoming, Miaow Miaow im not great Ive been full of cold for about a week although I've lost 1/2 stone in about the last week and a half which can only be a good thing. Thank you for asking

Im not on contract Im permant staff but only been here 4 years and the company is undergoing a restructure so we will at least have to reapply four our own jobs and there may be a reduction in the number of people needed i.e from 8 to 6 people, hence why I say my job is not secure.

In all honesty I have been looking into Bankruptcy, the only thing that worries me is if they decide i have a beneficial intrested in the property which is a very complex situiation looking at it, and no way can I jepodise the family home, Ive been very low these last few weeks and its showing even at work ive become more quiet, and if you worked with me, you so know thats not like me, Im the loudest in the office.

Ill let you all know how im doing etc and thanks for the continued support, I love you all

xx

MiaowMiaow

Keep going Matt, small steps will get you there and try to look after yourself which i know is difficult with everything going on but is so important for your mind and body. let us know how you get on :-)xx