Just can't cope any more

dancingfairy

Hi Battyboimatt - I agree with the others - you've got a load of other stress right now so perhaps setting up a payment plan with your creditors via CCCS or one of the other debt charities would alleviate some of the worries? Like Tixy said - you can't really make up the shortfall and you're going to run out of opportunities to rob Peter to pay Paul etc.
I hope you are able to spend some time with your family - especially your dad at this time and find out if he has any specific wishes you are able to fulfil for him. I would also make sure he's got a will as this is the last thing you will want to be worrying over later.
I would also consider getting in touch maybe with the cancer unit/counsultant to find out what help and support their is available - your dad may be entitled to certain benefits that could make life that bit esier and perhaps he is able and perhaps the rest of your family can get some counselling to help you cope as well if this is something you would find useful.
CAB should also be able to advise you what benefits your family can claim as well.
Best Wishes at this difficult time.
df

dancingfairy

Just wondering if your dad has any insurance through work? or perhaps any cover on the mortgage in the event of his death/serious illness? Obviously anything that would make things a little easier for you right now.
df

ceejaydee23

Have you truely looked into the state pension thing for your mother, as my mum wasnt sure my dad would get a state pension either, due to his lack of filing NI contributions when Self Employed. He still qualified to get about 150ish a week State pension, and i know My nan Not sure how much(if anything) she paid in NI stamps used to get a half pension when my grandad was alive but when he died it increased significantly cos of pension credits x

jonjamie1970

Good luck with this mate, thats an awful lot of credit cards, I think take some free advice from CCCS and get this sorted so you can concentrate on your dad. They will negotiate for you and put everything into one payment then you can focus on your life.

CH27

Matt does your Dad get DLA? If not you should definately look into apply for him.

You're having a really stressful time & I hope you manage to get sorted with a plan you are happy with.

If you are writing to or ringing companies tell them your dad is very unwell & that under no circumstances are they to ring your home number.

Cyril

Are you an only child Matt ?

Seems like you have too much on your shoulders irrespective of the debts.and it seems like some of these will be because of your trying to hold together the family purse strings.

I can't help but feel desperately sorry for you as it seems like you are forgoing a normal life to bolster your parents misfortune. I may be completely wrong here but remember you can't be all things to all people and make sure you look after yourself aswell.

battyboimatt

Hi All,

Firstly let me say a hudge thank you to everyone, it certainly made me smile for a moment with all the help and suggestions, ill answer where I can.

Cyril, No i'm not an only child, I have a older borther and sister, however my sister has 3 young children has never worked and is in debt herself, she lives not far away and visits when she can. My older brother is in about £40'000 worth of debt with his kids and x partners disastrous relationship and well we dont get on that well, so really I am the only one holding the family together.

CH27 - No my dad does not get DLA, at the moment he is still working full time however takes a month off on the sick every 3/4 months, so hes trying to save as much as he can to leave something for my mother, he works 9 - 5 then comes in spends a little time with us and goes to bed exaushted about 7pm. Ive tried to talk to him about things but he says hes ok, its even harder to get info out of him when hes been to the hospital and we all know hes just putting a brave face on it, when he first found out he insisted he wanted to be put into a home and not cared for by the family but we talked him out that one, hes very proud and he will be working until he drops, I have no doubt about that one.

ceejaydee23 - I'll approach my mam about the pension, she last worked in a factory at the age of about 16 all be it not for very long before she become a house wife, she has never paid NINO or tax or anything like that for over £40 years, fter looking at pension top up, I dont think she would qualify as my dad earns over 20K a year

Dancing fairy, my dad does pay into a pension shcheme that has an in death benefit for 3x his yearly wage, however where he works there is undergoing a restructure so he might be made redundant soon anyway and hes only been there about 3 years so I dont know what he would get, but that would go to him not me, Ive just found out today that the mortage is paid off, the house is now wholy my mam and dads he has no life cover or anything.

Ill try and get though to CCCS something this week when no one is around, I dont want them over hearing as the phone is next to the living room, I mean I do manage at the moment with my over daft, i get paid go into credit but about 5 day slater slip back into the overdaft, I dont know what to do for the best, still I just want to say thank you guys, you have been so great.

CH27

Matt, CCCS will talk you through all the options.

Have you looked at the McMillan forum? It's very good for practical advice & support about all things cancer related.

AlyBaly

Hi Matt,

I do not have any expert advice to give you and as you see I am quite new and don't post often but please know your not alone. The people here are fantasic and will help and support you in all sorts of ways.

Keep posting, a problem shared ....

teecee152

Hi there!
Please look into DLA for your dad it can still be paid even if the claimant works full time. Don't let that fact put you off enquiring. Also can't praise CCCS enough they have been fantastic as far as my debt has been concerned.
Good Luck.