Just can't cope any more

tugrin

Dear Matt
You are a lovely loyal boy for supporting your mum and dad the way you are and I wonder if all your spending has been to take your mind off the really heartbreaking situation you find yourself in. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 25 and I was devastated - took me years to get over it so I can sympathise with how you feel. PLEASE take everyones advice - the CCCS are worth their weight in gold and will do their best for you. You need to remove this horrible burden from your shoulders and as others have said concentrate on enjoying time as a family and looking after you dad. People on here are all on your side and will help to talk you through all the pain.
Do CCS TOMORROW and look into Macmillan nurses - you owe it to yourself - if you feel better you will be able to transmit that secure feeling to mum and dad. Look upon it as a way of supporting them too. Take care.

MiaowMiaow

Hi Matt
I wont repeat all the advice you have been given but I also wanted to add that maybe a visit to your GP would be a good idea for the depression - it is no wonder you feel low at the moment with all the various stresses in your life, particularly with your Dad. I know how it is to feel so low and I have been to my GP when it got to the point I didnt know what to do. They are there to help. Try to remember how important YOU are. I wish you the best of luck - keep posting on the forum if it helps. xx

MummyOfTwo

you are a good lad, Matt. my thoughts are with you, chin up:(

wannabe_free_2

Hi

I just wanted to echo what someone else had said - please do give the Macmillan Support Line a call on 0808 808 00 00 and ask about entitlement to benefits and other support - it can make a huge difference and they are specialists in supporting people with cancer. I don't know where you live, but there might even be a Macmillan benefits adviser close by - if you visit the Macmillan website you can do a search. DLA is a non-means tested benefit, and if your Dad is eligible for that, then it can also mean that he will be eligible for other support.

You might also want to visit the online Macmillan community on the Macmillan website (macmillan.org.uk) as there are lots of people there who are going through a similar thing and can offer support and/or a friendly ear.

I wish you all the best.

wannabe

Hales82

Hi

I don't have any practical advise to give you but just wanted to wish you well in what must be a very stressful time.

We've just entered into a DMP with the CCCS and the relief to be sorting it out is amazing. It's a little stressy at the beginning but after a few weeks you'll be able to relax knowing your priority debts are paid and so are your creditors. You can then just concentrate on you, your Mum and your Dad.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

ceejaydee23

I found this info on the governments website - I really think your mums entitlement should be looked into, especially with your dad being ill, As others have said the benefits your parents could be entitled to now, open doors!

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Pensionsandretirementplanning/StatePension/Basicstatepension/DG_10014671

If you've been a parent or carer
If you reach State Pension age on or after 6 April 2010 you may be able to get new National Insurance (NI) credits. These NI credits allow you to build entitlement to the State Pension. You may be eligible for NI credits if you are:
a parent with a dependent child under 12 years of age
an approved foster carer
caring for at least 20 hours per week for one or more severely disabled people
Up until 5 April 2010, many people who cared for others were eligible for Home Responsibilities Protection (HRP). HRP helped protect your State Pension entitlement for years when you were not working or your earnings were low. If you reach State Pension age after 5 April 2010, you will receive NI credits rather than HRP.
The new NI credits replaced HRP from 6 April 2010. If you have built up HRP before 6 April 2010 then up to 22 of these years will automatically be converted into NI credits. These NI credits will then count towards your basic State Pension.
State Pensions for parents
Caring and your pension (caring for someone section)
Home Responsibilities Protection (money, tax and benefits section)
If you've been claiming benefit
You will automatically receive NI credits for the weeks you’ve been claiming the following benefits (if you have paid enough NICs):
Carer’s Allowance
Jobseeker’s Allowance
Incapacity Benefit
Employment and Support Allowance
To find out more, contact the National Insurance Contributions Office.
National Insurance Contributions Office

battyboimatt

Thanks people, well I spoke to my mother, she had a letter to say as she hasnt paid enougth nino blah blah she cant get penison until she is 63, ill have to look into this, also my dad an DLA he's too proud he doesnt need help with anything lol. Anyway I filled in all my outgoings and that on the CCCS webstie last night and that reccomended an IVA with a payment of about £260 a month, however I dont know what to do, i'm unsure as my job isnt secure at the moment, we are under going a restructure ourseles and wont find out about our jobs until june / august this year.......the stress agghhh, Ill have to mull things over I dont want to go Bankrupt as then id never be able to run my own company as a director and I want to do this in the future, plus no one would touch me with a stick again, and id be 36 before my credit file would be clear *sigh* I just want to curl up in a ball and die myself.

ceejaydee23

Thing is Matt, your mum is now your dads carer officially or not, if they were claiming DLA and carers allowance your mum would then be earning the NI credits that could help make up a state pension? (please can someone put me right if i'm wrong)

Its hard and can sometimes be harsh BUT its time someone took the bull by the horns and said enough is enough we dont need to struggle like this! You have taken massive steps to accept your debt problems, which I applaud you for, But unless your mum and dad seek some extra help, your going to crash and burn and be no use to anyone either!

My Nan is currently going through some tough times as she is riddled with cancer and living with my aunt and uncle, my aunt refuses to put her in a hospice at the moment but things are getting harder as the cancer is spreading quickly (esp in the brain).

battyboimatt

Hi All,

Well Ive been posting on the bankruptcy board and asked a CCCS advisor a questions and that is totally not an option for me as they may still say I have a intrest in the paretns house and dont want them to touch that, I think the best thing I should do, change the house phone number, just stop paying and let the letters and that start, hopefully debt collectors will freeze the intrest and then if they do take me to court and try for a CCJ the jude will see my forecast and just order me to pay what I can, everyone has been such a help but im struggling at the moment, is there a rock I can crawl under now ?

GeorgieFTB

matt

I take my hat off to you, well if I had a hat I would. You sound lovely, looking after your parents, wanting your own company etc

I don't think anyone on this board would suggest just ignoring the debts and hoping they get worse... your best bet to buy yourself another few months breathing space might be to cancel your DDs and send token payments while asking them to freeze interest. It shows you are trying to pay...

Gx