My Confessional

[Deleted User]

dancingfairy wrote: »

Have just read through this thread - Lilykins - perhaps you could tell your friend that you are economising for now - you don't have to say oh I'm in major debt just say that the cost of living is going up etc etc and you want to pull the reins in a little. If neccessary you could always lie and say you're saving for your retirement/dream home/ holiday of a lifetime somewhere in x date - pick a date a long way away though
df

Thats such a good idea dancingfairy, can def do that with work colleagues etc. I know i shouldnt worry about what people think but I do. Cheers :T

ixwood

You're doing brilliant. keep up the good work!

I think generally speaking, frivolous/conspicuous spending is often a symptom of a deeper self esteem problem.

it's not very surprising as a lot of companies spend a lot of money to make us think we are what we buy and that material things actually matter.

Glossy magazines and adverts are basically designed to make you feel inferior and inadequate and the need to buy things to make you feel better.

And as it's so ingrained in society, you're surrounded by people that have been conditioned to think the same, so feel like everyone else has all these things and a materialistic attitude, so it just seems normal.

When you're confident/happy in yourself, it doesn't matter what other people thing. I drive a 10 year old car. It's not rusty or unreliable (touch wood!), has served me well and does me fine. I have no debt other than the mortgage and could get something newer/flasher if I wanted, but I don't feel the need at all. Some people probably assume I'm poor and that's fine. It's no biggie.

In fact pretentious people almost make me feel embarrassed for them these days. It's all a bit Mrs Bucket/Bouquet at times. I think there is something in the flash car making up for something joke. Maybe I'm just getting old!

If I hear/read someone going on about about designer bags or whatever, I cringe and think they're a sad gullible muppet, rather than admiring or being envious of them (which is the desired/anticipated effect).

ixwood

Be proud of being frugal and saving money. Conspicuous consumption is so last millennium.

You need some interest in your life to replace the shallow consumerism. What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? What are your interested in? Who are the people you enjoy being with?

Do you have a garden, or can you get an allotment? Do you paint or have an crafty side? Do you enjoy cooking? Are there any eldely/disabled people that you could help out/get to know? Do you like reading? Any sports or games you enjoy/fancy? Any projects on your house to do? Anything useful you could make/build? Anything you'd like to learn?

[Deleted User]

Ixwood, your words are so true and very much appreciated. Its reading threads like yours that reassure me I'm on the right path finally. I have a couple of good friends personally who would understand and support my plans, however at work my 'friends' there are always talking about their holidays in the maldives and cruises and their plans to get the latest designer handbags. I have had to distance myself because 'lunch' is too expensive (taking a packed lunch now). So at the moment feel quite isolated, but also a little relieved to be out of that pressure (thats what contributed to my debt in the first place).

I am keeping busy, I've been to the library, am doing some quilting (DH cant believe his eyes!!) and enjoying soending more time with my DH and DS, and the dogs (not reading thoses expensive glossy magazines, which as you say make me feel more inferior).

Thanks all, hope everyones ok

Amelia39

Wow - i have just updates my signature, as i promised I would every 4 months - and i am so pleased with the results! I have managed to pay off £3,669.18 in total! I literally can't believe it - i am so happy. I never thought i would manage this much!

Feel like i'm really on track for my goal of debt free by October 2012!

How is everyone else getting on?

wigwam

Have just read through this thread - its really positive, thanks for updating your progress Amelia.
For me the worst part is friends wanting me to spend loads when we are out - but funnily enough I know they are in debt too and most of that is going on the credit cards. I have suggested to them that they should stop the card spending but suppose we are only ready to hear it when we see it ourselves.

Its great seeing the total debt numbers go down and strangely satisfying to see huge amounts of money going from my account every month to debt repayments (how weird is that!!).

As I am now in so much debt I have changed my mindset to veiw everything I buy as being on borrowed money as that is cash I could be paying off debt with. Just waiting for the debt free date when I can finally be spending with my own money :j:j

CH27

Well done Amelia:T

SeriouslySeekingtoSave

Amelia39 wrote: »

Wow - i have just updates my signature, as i promised I would every 4 months - and i am so pleased with the results! I have managed to pay off £3,669.18 in total! I literally can't believe it - i am so happy. I never thought i would manage this much!

Feel like i'm really on track for my goal of debt free by October 2012!

That is absolutely fantastic! Feel proud of yourself :T

GreyFox_2

Welcome and Good luck. Small time poster myself, but have been reading alot of post and eveyone seems helpful. Sometimes the honest and brutal truth is also required and there people here good enough to do that.

Amelia39

wigwam wrote: »

Have just read through this thread - its really positive, thanks for updating your progress Amelia.
For me the worst part is friends wanting me to spend loads when we are out - but funnily enough I know they are in debt too and most of that is going on the credit cards. I have suggested to them that they should stop the card spending but suppose we are only ready to hear it when we see it ourselves.

Its great seeing the total debt numbers go down and strangely satisfying to see huge amounts of money going from my account every month to debt repayments (how weird is that!!).

thanks for the support! and i totally agree with you - my friends used ti be a nightmare too, but i came clean with my best friends and they are actually being very supportive - they have been having fun about who can organise the cheapest night out - we are voucher queens!

I love seeing the money go out to pay off debt too - not weird at all, but really satisfying. I think it has replaced the buzz i used to get from shopping, just wish i didn't have to wait for pay day in order to pay stuff off!