My Confessional

Amelia39

Hi everybody

I am hoping this will be a therapeutic exercise! and I know lots of people do this, but I really feel I need to write down what i am trying to do, before I set off on my road to becoming debt free

I only very recently had a lightbulb moment (December 15th 2010), I have been living in denial until then. But since I discovered this site, I have been reading other peoples posts, and I really feel like you as a community have helped me come to terms with my problems and face up to my debt. I feel ready now to start tackling it, and I realise I am not on my own.

I started getting into debt in the usual way - living beyond my means, spending more than i can afford each month, but also I became a shopaholic (I know that sounds cliched), but I realise now it was a way of dealing with depression and not having to face reality. I have stopped all that now, cut up my cards,and consolidated my debt into one place

So here goes! I am going to update my signature at the bottom every 4 months, so I can feel like I'm making headway on my debts, but any tips and support are greatly received

honeybun16

did not want to read and run, Good Luck on your debt free journey

Byatt

Well done Amelia! You will benefit from doing this in more ways than you can imagine. The stress, worry and guilt of overspending and being in debt, takes its toll, not only mentally and emotionally, but physically and in terms of relationships with family and friends.

Keep reading and posting if you can; there are so many wonderful people here!

Is it worth posting your SOA (statement of affairs) to help you make cut backs if necessary. Also look at the old style board for tips on food shopping/menus etc.

xxx

Clarie_2

Welcome, well done and keep going!

Clarie

[Deleted User]

Hi Amelia,
I have just subscribed after my LBM last week. Have found reading other peoples posts so inspirational and motivating.
My debt has been caused by very similar things to you- overspending, depression then further spending to make me feel better- only now I feel stressed, anxious and ashamed of my situation.
It feels scary to admit my problem publically- friends and family have no idea of my problem debts, I have become very good at hiding them.
I need to learn how to use the board to post the updates on my progress as you have- that should keep my out of the shops for a while??
good luck

Amelia39

Thanks everyone for your support. I am determined to do it. I feel like I managed to kick my shopping habit, by just not going near any shops, as i am still not strong enough to resist at the moment.

I have actually started to enjoy not spending money! and i feel so satisfied when i get through a day without spending anything. that has replaced my shopping buzz for now!

I'll keep updated as I managed to get my debt down

Amelia39

lilykins wrote: »

Hi Amelia,
I have just subscribed after my LBM last week. Have found reading other peoples posts so inspirational and motivating.
My debt has been caused by very similar things to you- overspending, depression then further spending to make me feel better- only now I feel stressed, anxious and ashamed of my situation.
It feels scary to admit my problem publically- friends and family have no idea of my problem debts, I have become very good at hiding them.
I need to learn how to use the board to post the updates on my progress as you have- that should keep my out of the shops for a while??
good luck

i know exacctly how you feel and what you mean, i am still hiding from friends and family at the moment. I feel like i will be more accepted online with people who understand what i'm going through, than telling people i know. I feel really ashamed and shallow in explaining how i ran my debts up!

If i can be any support to you, let me know - we can help each other :j

Lucy1010

Good luck Amelia, I can relate! x

[Deleted User]

Thanks Amelia, great to know theres support and understanding here.
Cut the CCs up yesterday- so tomorrow my first day out without them- that feels scary. I have tried to resolve my debt problems on my own many times over recent years, taking MSE advice like changing gas suppliers and car insurances etc however have never dealt with the real problem- my over-spending.
Last year I asked my long-suffering husband to hide my cc's- that didnt work- I found them is a desperate moment and have run-up a further £4000, with absolutely nothing to show for it. Its not as if I live a lavish lifestyle- I just felt low everyday and shopping in my lunch-hour seemed to make me feel better- it soon became every lunchtime and I would have to leave the bags in the boot until my husband went out to walk the dog.
So am scared about tomorrow- first day without the cc's. will avoid town as I cant trust myself. Although I know over-spending has caused all this debt and misery, spending is still the only way I know to try to make myself feel better- you said you felt shallow- i do too- but its such a long-standing problem i dont know how to distract myself any other way.
It would be so great to help each other- will let you know how I do after work tomorrow.
How long have you been avoiding the shops? Have you set up a budget yet?
I am half way through MSE budget brain- its time consuming. Will post the results.
keep going Amelia- we'll get there!! x

southernbelle

Good luck Amelia! I am on about my fifth LBM now...I am terrible. I hope you do much better than I have!

mackeroo

[Cut the CCs up yesterday- so tomorrow my first day out without them- that feels scary.


Hi there i just wanted to share with you my experience of this. I also ran up a similiar amount of debt a few years back due to CC's and i decided last year that enough was enough as we added this amount to our mortgage which we had done a few years previously as well. So instead of mortgage payments going down they were going up. The BEST thing i ever done was cut up cards, DH has a card and its never more that £200 balance. Yes it was tough at the start, but i wouldnt change it for the world, and im now proud to say that i dont have a credit card. I know that i will never get another card as it would be too tempting. I wish you luck