My Confessional

foxgloves

As someone who is now very nearly (well, May 2011) debtfree, I wanted to say that if you keep at it like you are doing now, you will find that your mindset changes. I used to fritter so much money on trips into the city centre, garden centres, anywhere with a till & nice stuff to buy, really! What I find now, is that I honestly do genuinely get the same buzz from being in control as I did when i was overpsending. Partner says exactly the same.....if anything, he used to be even worse than me, but neither of us will impulse buy now. We do still buy things i.e We've recently bought a laptop & new TV, but instead of bunging them straight on a credit card or adding to the overdraft as we'd previously have done without a 2nd thought, we saved the money, researched good deals & paid cash. It was planned expenditure, using our money, not the bank's & that felt good. Ultimately, if it is overpsending & failing to budget that has got us into debt (which was certainly the case with us), then we have to realise that we DO have a choice. We can choose to stick to a budget & get our finances straight again, or we can choose to keep spending beyond our means & keep (or add to) the debt. I can't think of any situation in life which is improved by being in debt, so it really is worth cultivating these new spending/budgeting habits so you can eventually enjoy the freedom of every spare penny you earn belonging to you instead of already owed to somebody else. Be strong, be focussed & beat the banks.....that's how I've done it....Just wish I'd had LBM at 20 instead of 40!! Never mind, definitely better late than never!

[Deleted User]

Hi Amelia,
Great to hear from you, glad to hear your still doing well- youve given me inspiration cause I've found the past few days really tough. Have discovered how materialistic I've been in the past and think the past few days have been tough because although I'm trying to let go of being so materialistic I've realised many of my friendships are based on this.
Met a friend for coffee on Friday and she insisted on a bit of retail therapy- I know I should have been strong and told her no but she has no idea of the debt I'm in (would be too embarrassed to tell her). We looked round the usual shops on the retail park (my first time since LBM) and it was so difficult, there were so many nice things I would have usually bought and keep thinking about the things I wanted and trying to justify to myself that I 'need' them. Feel ashamed of feeling like this. My friend spent a small fortune on 'bits and bobs'- I didnt spend anything- my friend was very suspicious!!!
I have always felt under pressure to have lots of clothes, bags, shoes etc cause my work colleagues and friend have. The same goes for nice houses and interiors etc. I now know that these friendships have influenced alot of my spending.
So, I feel I need to distance myself from certain friends (not all)- because I certainly felt the pressure on Friday. To be honest, I have now questioned whether they are real friends at all, since I do feel like they will look down on me if I'm not buying, buying,buying and having the latest things.

Foxloves, your message shows me where I want to be in the next few years, thank you. Any advice would be gratefully recieved.

I know this post makes me sound like a selfish, materialistic person, I hope to change this and enjoy the important things in life, my family and health.

I too have things for sale on e-bay, they finish today but no bids yet- will try again though!!

On a positive note, have been meal planning and shopping for food very strictly and have spent under £50 per week and used everything I bought, have ate well and felt very proud no wastage. The shopping bill was £120 a week previously, and still had several take-aways per week.

Have been reading the old-style posts, in particular living more simplistically- more inspiration.

Thanks for reading and support

herewegoagain2010

Amelia

Well done, I think you've done the hardest part and that's having your LBM. I found that adding it all up and writing it down in the form of diary is the best way to keep motivated.

My DH and I have had a LBM and then a couple of slips, but we got there in the end. We are finally offically debt free and have a few pounds in savings, (but it is only a few pounds at the mo, but I'm workin on it) We are 'let's treat ourselves' shoppers and I finally realised that we're serious spenders when we're together. It was a small adjustment, but we no longer use shopping as our weekend entertainment. Getting a dog has changed our habits completely.

If you find your spender triggers and then change your habit. If you're a lunch time spender, only have enough for a sandwich in cash and leave your cards at home. Better still make a pack-up and get a good book from the library. It sounds simple, but if you don't go into any shops you can't spend an money lol!

Although we're debt free at the minute, I keep reading the board to keep me motivated to stay that way. It only takes a small slip like a holiday and we'll be back into the red. I want a new car, new clothes and a holiday like everyone, but I need to be debt free. It is a state of mind and I do get my buzz from being sensible and motivated to keep DF.

Good luck with the road ahead x

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi Amelia,

Well done it sound like you are doing great, keep it going. I honestly dont enjoy shopping any more and avoid going anywhere near shops if I can help it. For me there is no fun browsing if you cant afford to buy and I really have enough clothes and shoes to last for at least a year!

The trick is to find other things to do instead. When I am tempted by the online sales I come on here and it keeps me from spending.

For anyone worried about not making huge dents in your debts - if you just pay off what you can and dont use the cards the balances are going to go down and thats what matters.

Craig_W_2

Amelia39 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your support. I am determined to do it. I feel like I managed to kick my shopping habit, by just not going near any shops, as i am still not strong enough to resist at the moment.

I have actually started to enjoy not spending money! and i feel so satisfied when i get through a day without spending anything. that has replaced my shopping buzz for now!

I'll keep updated as I managed to get my debt down

You've truly seen the light, Amelia. Amen to that! :T

Keep on keeping on.

Fedupofbeingindebt

Well done for having your LBM and posting on here. I've found the support on this forum extremely valuable and like you, I now know that I'm not alone.

Wishing you the very best of luck on your debt free mission :T

Yargo1

Fabulous post, so much relates to me and my spending habits too! going to subscribe.

Come on we can do it... Debt free here we come!

[Deleted User]

Thanks guys- great to know I'm not the only one.

Would love regular updates from everyone to help keep me on track.
Feel like I will get there by using the boards to get ideas from everyone and keep me busy and out of those shops.

DH has been really supportive and helpful. Althougth we have had LBMs previously we have never dealt with things and often 'encourage' each other to spend with all the usual excuses to spend 'we work full time, we deserve it, we will think about it next month'.

E-bay went ok, managed to sell couple of boys clothes, for £1 only but its a start but we did sell the dishwasher for £51 so will use that for grocery shopping this week, hope that means extra to pay off a card.

Have admitted to one friend I am in debt (although not to what extent), had to do it by text as I am too ashamed face to face. This will take the pressure off not being able to have the usual weekends away, nights out etc. So hope thats a good step towards paying off my debts.

Thanks for reading

[Deleted User]

Made some progress yesterday- found two old, broken gold braclets, took them to my local jewellery shop and sold them for £120- as with the money for the dishwasher will use for next couple of weeks food shopping and living and will have that £170 to pay extra off my cards.

Feel great that we are finally moving in the right direction, planning meals and making shopping lists has saved us alot, will continue to do this.

Have joined the library, I usually spend a small fortune on books, read them only once, maybe lend a few out but otherwise theyre piled up in the spare room (oooh, something else to sell).

Still find it hard not to think I 'need' clothes, particularly with this lovely weather we're having, have been tempted to buy some pretty shoes or a top now that boots and jumpers arent needed, so instead spent a few hours last night getting out summer clothes, I had forgotten how much stuff I already have- lots of it doesntmatch anything cause I used to buy so much and never thought about what I'd wear them with- thats all changing!!!

Still reading the old style boards and really enjoying them, gettting lots of tips on leading a simplier life- I'm really keen to do that. Still feel pressure from friend to go for night out or lunch but I have resisted- my life will be very simple soon- I'll have no friends!!!!!

Onwards and upwards- we'll all get there eventually!

dancingfairy

Have just read through this thread - Lilykins - perhaps you could tell your friend that you are economising for now - you don't have to say oh I'm in major debt just say that the cost of living is going up etc etc and you want to pull the reins in a little. If neccessary you could always lie and say you're saving for your retirement/dream home/ holiday of a lifetime somewhere in x date - pick a date a long way away though
df