Would you ask someone out?

tru

I didn't exactly ask someone out, but does this count?

I had a boyfriend, but fancied someone else. I'd drunk far too much one night and marched up to him and said "if it wasn't for x, I think I'd really go for you". So he tried to kiss me, I backed off and told him I'd just thrown up He said "I don't care" and kissed me anyway. That was in 1989, we got married a year later

miss_independent

When I was about 13 my mum informed me that it was "disgusting to ask a boy out. Ladies don't do that. Only desperate tarts." So I never asked anyone out and spent most of my teens having unrequited crushes and waiting around to be "asked".

I don't know if it is a sign of the times, or just that I'm not what men are looking for (but if that is the case my single female friends are in the same boat) but it doesn't seem to me that men in their 20's so readily ask women out anymore. I've been single for a good few years now after sitting around waiting in my princess tower (metaphorically of course ) for prince charming to ask me out. What I have learned is that if I had swallowed my pride and made the first move then I probably wouldn't have been single for as long as I have. And the amount of time I have been single has really knocked my confidence.

Although being naturally quite reserved I wouldn't find it easy, I would now definitely suggest meeting up with a guy I am interested in. I tend to go for gentlemanly types who don't have huge egos so I think alot of the time they wouldn't put themselves out to make the first move. I think there is a way to do it, something like; "I really like talking with you. Perhaps, if you'd like, we could meet up sometime and go out for a drink?" The worst they can say is no, in which case you haven't lost anything. But they could always say yes .

DUKE

Yes I've asked someone out & I'd do it again. Life's too short not to get the bloke you fancy - go for it!

pinksleepybear

janb5 wrote: »

Well just got an email back. He`s been married twice and divorced twice and `semi living with a gf (?) ` At least he was honest. Would like to meet for a drink and hopes that I would still find it worthwhile. Also homing two of his kids for half the week and alternate weekends. Asked whether I would want son to know.

I`ve said that I`ll meet him sometime for a drink but making it clear that I`m not messing where someone else is involved and no wouldnt mention it to my son as there has to be privacy and lack of embarressment at his work and I would hate him to be caught up in this. I`m glad I asked but would only do a driink on friendly terms. Know what it`s like to be hurt and not prepared to do it to anyone else.......

Good for you for doing it, but it seems that he already has a girlfriend, so are you sure you want to meet up with him?

jcr16

i think it perfectly fine for a girl to ask a guy out. ok i woulnd't do it now as i'm happily married have been since age 20.

but when i was younger i was asked out by chaps and i equally asked a few guys out. never had a rejection. just be confident, yoru your mutally attracted to each other then unless there in a relationship there is no reason why just having a drink together won't work, and they have a reason to turn you down.

minerva_windsong

Between the ages of about 13 and 19, I asked out pretty much every bloke I fancied (except my current boyfriend, but I'm not sure he counts as when we first met I had the mindset of 'yeah he's cute but he'd never fancy me'). They all said no, but it didn't stop me asking again when the time came and I think it helped me to get better at taking rejection. After all, to quote Wayne Gretzky, "One hundred per cent of the shots you don't take don't go in."

sausagesandwich19

janb5 wrote: »

Just curious to know as to whether other MSE people would ask someone out. It is quite ingrained in me not to ask first but I`ve come to the conclusion that if you dont ask you dont get!

Has anyone else (female) asked some one out or do they wait to be asked first!

Love to hear your views..........

Fancy going out then?

FreeBee00

I wouldn't say I have formally "asked a guy out" but I am sure that I have been the first to suggest a get together or meeting up somewhere. I am pretty outgoing, so I guess I don't pick up on my own actions when I do things like that. But I think it is a great attitude to have! You might as well give it a shot. Lingering around waiting for the guy can take forever (and sadly, may never come) so if you ask and find out you can either have a fabulous time or cut your losses! Best of luck!

GlasweJen

I'd be far too shy to ask a guy out, I think I'm going to end up single forever lol!

Zoetoes

Well I think it's time I started thinking about this, been over 2 years now and I'm too young to be celibate!