How much do you live on per month?

determined_new_ms

Lucy1010 wrote: »

I am not into online anything other than this forum and facebook to keep up with friends and family. I don't like online games or anything like that. My concentration span is pretty short so its got to be really good to keep me entertained.... if a film doesn't excite me in the first 10 mins I switch off...

I just don't like being on my own I guess. I feel envious of those that have partners in their lives to share everyday stuff with.

Saying that though, I am only just out of a relationship and have been warned not to get into another one so soon, I have been advised to spend time by myself for a few months..... but it's BORING!

hey lucy I'm back again, checking in to see how you're doing, you have gathered quite a following! Am sooooooo happy that you arefeeling the benefits of not smoking & are able to up your day to day living allowance because of it :j its mental isn't it? How much we denied ourselves just to smoke????

Ok I had to respond to this post as it really spoke to me, I was a single parent for (ever) and when I first split with my partner (when I was 24, and then met my oh when I was 32) it was awful spending all that time on my own, I felt incredibly needy - on the phone to friend's in the evening, online. So in the end I decided to "face" it and learn to enjoy my own company. So I would find some music I liked put it on, read, do a jigsaw, spend some time reflecting, take up a hobby. Once you start it becomes a lot easier. Go to a local bar and have a glass of wine on your own, if you're invited to a house party go, take up jogging, go to a museum on your own. Its honestly really liberating to learn to stand on your own two feet and enjoy your own company! Good luck x

schoolrunmum

Great post DNMS.....
My better half worked away, and I mean A LOT.....you can't put your life on hold, you have to get out there. In fact, he's recently retired and I am finding it hard having him around all the time,I am so used to being on my own!

Lucy1010

determined_new_ms wrote: »

hey lucy I'm back again, checking in to see how you're doing, you have gathered quite a following! Am sooooooo happy that you arefeeling the benefits of not smoking & are able to up your day to day living allowance because of it :j its mental isn't it? How much we denied ourselves just to smoke????

Ok I had to respond to this post as it really spoke to me, I was a single parent for (ever) and when I first split with my partner (when I was 24, and then met my oh when I was 32) it was awful spending all that time on my own, I felt incredibly needy - on the phone to friend's in the evening, online. So in the end I decided to "face" it and learn to enjoy my own company. So I would find some music I liked put it on, read, do a jigsaw, spend some time reflecting, take up a hobby. Once you start it becomes a lot easier. Go to a local bar and have a glass of wine on your own, if you're invited to a house party go, take up jogging, go to a museum on your own. Its honestly really liberating to learn to stand on your own two feet and enjoy your own company! Good luck x

schoolrunmum wrote: »

Great post DNMS.....
My better half worked away, and I mean A LOT.....you can't put your life on hold, you have to get out there. In fact, he's recently retired and I am finding it hard having him around all the time,I am so used to being on my own!

Thanks Girls, I am doing my best to embrace singleton life and I am enjoying it although it is when it warms up like this weekend that I get a bit sad... I want to be able to take a walk with a beloved... not sit and watch other romantic couples pass me by LOL, no I am joking a little but it is a bit depressing to be on your own when it's nice and warm! Everyone seems to have someone apart from me

I will take the advice given and it is humbling to hear your experiences. I can never ever ever see me walking into a bar alone and ordering a glass of wine. I would feel so exposed... Look at me... billy no mates! No... I can't do that and I am not even shy...! I would feel so vulnerable sat by myself watching groups of people or happy couples enjoying their drinks whilst I stare blankly into my glass

curlygirl1971

Lucy1010 wrote: »

I want to be able to take a walk with a beloved... not sit and watch other romantic couples pass me by LOL, no I am joking a little but it is a bit depressing to be on your own when it's nice and warm! Everyone seems to have someone apart from me

They've probably just had a row and decided to get out of the house before they murder each other

But yes....I remember thinking exactly that. I even began to get a bit resentful in supermarkets when I could see couples doing their shopping together and I was buying for one :rotfl: But there are LOADS of single people out there.

I don't think I ever got lonely as such - at least not when I was actually on my own - but towards the end of my single period I think I did start to struggle when I was in the company of others - it was more the fact that I felt so different to everyone else. I felt that there was something surely wrong with me because EVERYONE else had someone. And this really bothered me to the point I could get quite tearful about it. But that wasn't the case - it was just the way I felt. I think the only other times I felt it was when I was invited to places - I gave up going to Weddings because I just found a day event on my own in the company of couples too much. And then there was also the 'running a house' thing - sometimes I would have liked to have had someone to share a difficult decision with. But I think if I were on my own again in the future - I think I realise now that I'm very capable of being on my own and what I think other people think is often not the case and I'm past caring (to a point) anyway!

One of my teachers was a nun and I remember one of the pupils asking her 'Don't you ever got lonely because you never got married', she could have answered about the love of a religious community or God but instead she gave an answer to the effect that a bad marriage was even lonelier. And when I was in my late twenties (and going out with a raving lunatic) I had a glimpse of what she meant.

Anyway enought of that claptrap. Life's full of changes - some great and some crap - enjoy your single life - it'll be over before you know it and sometimes it won't be your choice!

curlygirl1971

Lucy1010 wrote: »

Ahh thank you Kerri! I won't be locking myself away but I did fast forward in my head and I know spending the money on myself is going to make me a lot happier this month. You are right in that I can't do both if I want to bust by debt! x

Promise us (if not yourself) that if you do want to go out and if you can reasonably afford it - then you will treat yourself to a night out - at least now and again

bluebag

'tis better to be one good whole than half of a poor pair.

About the going into a bar on your own, it's really easy, lots of singletons do it. It doesn't smack of 'billy no mates' it states independant woman.

Before I met my OH i went to nightclubs, bars, on holiday, weddings, parties you name it. It's a blast! (well past it now tho' )

Lucy1010

curlygirl1971 wrote: »

Promise us (if not yourself) that if you do want to go out and if you can reasonably afford it - then you will treat yourself to a night out - at least now and again

Hey CurlyGirl, the nun story is great... I can totally relate to that...!

I am not sat here right now desperately lonely or sad... it's only when its nice and warm and there is no one to go out with for the day My friends are all coupled up, doing their own thing on a lovely warm Sunday and it's at these times that I am reminded of how unlucky in love I have been I I look in the mirror and say to myself "How can you be single, you have so much going for you... (everyone I meet mistakes me for someone 15-20 years younger) I am happy, outgoing, I love life... yet I seem to attract the biggest LOSERS on this planet. That is what makes me sad I need a lesson on how to choose the right man without compromising my standards :rotfl:

OK, you know what? Life is too short, I am upping the budget for April and I am going ahead with the night out with friends

Oh and another thing, I have a few single male friends who I do not find attractive but like them as people, now these guys would be great to hang around with or go for a drink/dinner/cinema with but I end up regretting it because they always want something more and I find it very uncomfortable having to get out of sticky situations

Thanks again for the great advice xx

Lucy1010

bluebag wrote: »

'tis better to be one good whole than half of a poor pair.

About the going into a bar on your own, it's really easy, lots of singletons do it. It doesn't smack of 'billy no mates' it states independant woman.

Before I met my OH i went to nightclubs, bars, on holiday, weddings, parties you name it. It's a blast! (well past it now tho' )

OMG Bluebag, I think I would rather die...! I just can't. As I said I am the most outgoing person out there, not in the least bit shy, very outspoken but I can't walk into a bar by myself, I won't even go in by myself to meet someone, they have to meet me outside! Crazy hey but it's just the way I am.

bluebag

Lucy1010 wrote: »

OMG Bluebag, I think I would rather die...! I just can't. As I said I am the most outgoing person out there, not in the least bit shy, very outspoken but I can't walk into a bar by myself, I won't even go in by myself to meet someone, they have to meet me outside! Crazy hey but it's just the way I am.

Take a newspaper to hide behind... march up to the bar and order your drink and sit down and enjoy.

You don't know what you have in you till you try.

When I got divorced I had to do it as all my mates were part of a couple and I felt like a fifth wheel. I didn't think I could do it then either, but I did and it wouldn't phase me in the least now.

I depend on me, that way I know I won't be let down, stood up or made to feel awkward. I like life on my own terms and I make that happen.

Lucy1010

bluebag wrote: »

Take a newspaper to hide behind... march up to the bar and order your drink and sit down and enjoy.

You don't know what you have in you till you try.

When I got divorced I had to do it as all my mates were part of a couple and I felt like a fifth wheel. I didn't think I could do it then either, but I did and it wouldn't phase me in the least now.

I depend on me, that way I know I won't be let down, stood up or made to feel awkward. I like life on my own terms and I make that happen.

Thanks, very inspiring.... I will let you know if I am ever brave enough to do this although a glass of wine with a paper in my garden seems more appealing LOL :rotfl: x