am i being unreasonable??

saintly_2

if id just written that as a list i would be pee'd off with me aswell if i had read it lol

Jinx

I must admit hubby and I had words when he was at home all day following being made redundant. He wasnt lifting a finger and so was told that if I worked all day I didnt mind cooking as he doesnt really cook but I would NOT be doing everything else too....... He pulled his finger out after that. Even now he will write a list sometimes as even when asked to do one thing he forgets what it was..... I feel for you!!!!! xx

Sambucus_Nigra

Why not write a list of ALL chores that need doing during the week - and put both of your initials against them so that he doesn't feel that he is doing it all. We have a white board we use as a menu planner with days down the left hand side, then the meal and then initials of who is cooking it [me, the OH or the slow cooker], you could do that and add chores to be done next with initials - I also use it as a holiday task list when we take a week off and stay home, and when we run out of stuff it all gets up up there each week. We discuss our meals each week, and both put up chores that need doing as and when. Otherwise we forget.

Pixiechic

Hi,

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, obviously he can do some jobs whilst he isn't working.
It would be unreasonable for him not to do anything when he is at home all day. Such jobs that he can do should be agreed apon and then just leave it for him.
Staying up till 2 or 3 am and then complaining of being tired when you have come back from work made me laugh when reading but would definately annoy me!

saintly_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Why not write a list of ALL chores that need doing during the week - and put both of your initials against them so that he doesn't feel that he is doing it all. We have a white board we use as a menu planner with days down the left hand side, then the meal and then initials of who is cooking it [me, the OH or the slow cooker], you could do that and add chores to be done next with initials - I also use it as a holiday task list when we take a week off and stay home, and when we run out of stuff it all gets up up there each week. We discuss our meals each week, and both put up chores that need doing as and when. Otherwise we forget.

yeah great idea, might make a start on it now ready for the start of my shifts tomorrow!!! thanks

Errata

TBH you shouldn't need to ask him to do anything, he should be doing it all! I managed to push the hoover round, flick a duster, do the washing, and cook whatever I could keep down when I was on radical chemo and radiotherapy for 5 weeks because there was nobody else around to do it.
He's either bone idle, taking the mickey, or you need to send him back to his mum's for a bit of civilising.

saintly_2

Errata wrote: »

TBH you shouldn't need to ask him to do anything, he should be doing it all! I managed to push the hoover round, flick a duster, do the washing, and cook whatever I could keep down when I was on radical chemo and radiotherapy for 5 weeks because there was nobody else around to do it.
He's either bone idle, taking the mickey, or you need to send him back to his mum's for a bit of civilising.

its his bloody mother that has got him like this, he openly admits that, i was shocked to hear the reason he never scraped the left over food off his plate was because he used to put it by the dishwasher and his mum did it! :eek: that soon changed!!

nearlyrich

That's shocking about his Mum but I know Mum's who let their teens and young adults live rent free and no chores, my two had to cook at least one family meal a week from secondary school age, take charge of the washing one weekend in 4, (wash dry and fold to be out away by the owner) keep their own room tidy and clean. Result is two young adults who are able to cook, clean and live in a communal setting without annoying the bejasus out of their friends/partners etc.

Hope you get him trained soon or find one who deserves you!

Errata

saintly wrote: »

its his bloody mother that has got him like this, he openly admits that, i was shocked to hear the reason he never scraped the left over food off his plate was because he used to put it by the dishwasher and his mum did it! :eek: that soon changed!!

In that case you need to point out to him that you're not his mum and he needs to get a grip if he plans to pass himself off as a mature adult male.

saintly_2

nearlyrich wrote: »

That's shocking about his Mum but I know Mum's who let their teens and young adults live rent free and no chores, my two had to cook at least one family meal a week from secondary school age, take charge of the washing one weekend in 4, (wash dry and fold to be out away by the owner) keep their own room tidy and clean. Result is two young adults who are able to cook, clean and live in a communal setting without annoying the bejasus out of their friends/partners etc.

Hope you get him trained soon or find one who deserves you!

i admit i got it easy when i lived with my folks, we only only moved out 8 months ago but i got a culture shock and i know i have to do it but he was an only child so they did everything. and he wonders why i dont want children lol

he's done 1 set of washing since being in the flat together, he put it on a boil wash haha