How to Get Through The Tough Times The Old Style Way.

shegar

ChocClare wrote: »

Shegar, sorry to hear you're feeling so overwhelmed, and who can blame you? It is very difficult to have to look after someone day in, day out.

Can the Stroke Association not help you? I know they do offer local services - see here It may be that that was precisely what you were talking about in your post, in which case, my apologies!

You MUST NOT feel guilty about requesting help from social services. That is precisely what they are there for, particularly as your DH had his stroke so young. I spend a lot of my day talking to (usually) elderly ladies about how they are finding it difficult to cope because of their husband's dementia/physical disabilities etc etc and they all have in common that they feel that they SHOULD be managing without help, which is just ridiculous. I always tell them to take whatever help is on offer - very few of them are qualified nurses, and even if they were, they wouldn't be expected to work a 24-hour shift.

Did you DH belong to any professional organisation before his stroke? Was he in the services? Was he a Mason? I ask because there are all sorts of charities which exist to help former members who have fallen into difficulties, so there may be other avenues open to you.

You take all the help you can get, my girl!

Many thanks for your very kind words,I will be looking into some of your points you made, :T............this is what I like about this thread there is always someone on here that know a way of helping out,its so much appreciated, im really grateful.....:D

On to hawthorn /blackthorn, ive planted a hawthorn hedge over winter ,I took some cuttings about a foot long long from the roadside dipped them in hormone rooting powder in October.................................:j

They now got green buds on so im very happy with my new hedge......I know it will be a few year before the birds will be able to nest in it, but its there and each autumn they will have red berries for the blackbirds..............and yes you can trim it for a hedge or let it grow into trees................:j

joeck68

I've been lurking on this thread (and its previous one) and am so impressed with all the wonderful tips and advice that you all come up with. I have a small notebook and jot down recipes and idea's as I come across them, if I didn't my bookmarks list would be huge

I've read that a few of you are expecting babies - congratulations - (sorry, can't remember names, I'll have to go back and check:o!). I would love to have another baby, my daughter was 9 a few weeks ago, but at 42 time is definately not on my side, however, financially we're only just scraping by at the moment, and I'm not working, so I don't see how we could afford another - plus we live in a tiny 2 bed rented cottage, so space would be a real problem, and as we have a cat, it's not so easy to find other rented accommodation (and buying is not on the agenda at the moment, no deposit, so well out of reach unless our lottery numbers come up!).

I try to be realistic about it, and in reality, at my age, getting pregnant might not be so easy anyway, but it feels really unfair that our finances mean that another baby is really not a sensible option, and will just over-stretch us - plus I have to think about my daughter too. I would to take her on holiday, and its so damned frustrating to be constantly saying no, because we can't afford things

Anyway, no use depressing myself over that - I really just wanted to pop up and say hi, and how much I value this forum, its so good to know I'm not on my own, and that I'm not the only person who stockpiles food under the bed (8kg of oats, my hubby and daughter love them, 10 kg sugar, 40 tins of baked beans, on special offer, and more loo roll than you can shake a stick at!)

Will try and post more often, but I don't think I can match you all for OS tips - I'm here to learn!

Pitlanepiglet

Welcome Joeck, you look like you're doing a fantastic job of clearing your debts so don't put yourself down! Keep posting, I have no doubt you've got loads of useful stuff to share as well.

lostinrates

joeck68 wrote: »

Anyway, no use depressing myself over that !

There really isn't.:) DH and I would love a child but its not possible for us so we envy you your one. Its not easy to overcome such a longing, but you know we can choose to accept the negative and embrace the positive, I'm sure your little girl is well loved and sibling rivalry is a terrible thing . We have very spoilt pets.

ceridwen

Frugal wrote: »

Shegar - If you have a local LETS group, they often have people on there who will do 'adult' sitting and keep your DH company whilst you go out for an afternoon or something... I doubt they'd help with the practical stuff but if it was a few hours to give you a break...

Yep....I'll second it...I've certainly had some very "unusual" requests through my LETS group.

Right now - as I bought a meditation chair a few years back for about £150 (yep...I know...I know...:(). So - its brand new condition and I've just given "first refusal" to another LETS member and he's said that he wants it for his girlfriend and it looks like its going out the door for 100 LETS Credits (ie our equivalent of £100) - so win/win. He gets a "present" for the girlfriend for no cash and I reduce my LETS debit balance:D:T. I just cannae be bovvered to advertise it in the local newspaper and see if anyone else has similar "tastes" and go through the hassle - so thissa way I get a like-minded "audience" and a fair "price". Everyone happy = win/win:D

kitschy

welcome joeck68 :beer:



I'm sure you will have lots of things we can learn from you - you start to think in a different way when you're part of a group like this. Not many of my real life friends share my enthusiasm for a simple and frugal life, so I was used to keeping schtum about any bargains or tips. Now I keep an eye out for things anyone on here might find useful

helen_jelly

Hi

I thought that I'd delurk too!!

I've been reading this thread [well, the latter part as its way too long to read all of it!!] lol

Kitschy - I have the same problem - all my real life friends don't feel the need [yet] to be OS so I find the community spirit on here wonderful

I won't post very often but will read all the posts as I learn lots from you all

Helen x

ChocClare

Welcome joeck68 and helen jelly (though I'm sure I've met you before, helen?).

I love the feeling of community on this thread - which is why it's so discordant when we get the thankfully only very occasional poster who doesn't post in a supportive and friendly way. I've been on other forums and always come running back - WAY too scary!

I've had so many hints and tips from here and you always feel happy to be able to post something back, I think. I posted ages ago a little mantra I had read about self-sufficiency, which included "support your local community" as one of the things to do each week - definitely what we do on here!

kezlou

Pitlanepiglet according to sources who i know personally who work within the council, the idea is that cpouncil tax can go up but not extortionately otherwise they will get fined by the government.

One of the main reasons CT may not go up where i am, is because a lot of jobs are going to to be lost and this is apparently to help EVERYONE out and hopefully boost the local economy at the same time. Thus ensuring services stay open. If that makes sense. Basically if people pay less CT they will spend more in shops etc.

Hey JackieO, should have seen me and OH out the back, the snails we found out there were huge , one must have been about4 inches high (in its shell). I know what we'll be eating ! After all last year they ate all the salad we were growing! Organic snails anyone?

O)h and yes they stacks of plant pots in poundland, oh and they selling packs of largeish round terracotta , 3 for a £1.

hi joeck welcome to the thread!:D
Shegar - don't feel guilty about social services, that's what they there for! Take full of advantage of everything you can get. After all it there to help YOU.
Hi Helen!

Its been freezing here yet again, been so tired today that i hardly got anything done, i was in too much pain. But i made a nonya laksa form scratch and it was amazing hmmm yummy. The boys scrammed it down and thought it was great eating with chop sticks. I'll put the recipe on the grocery thread tomorrow. Won't be able to do it tonight. I've stolen coddys pc while he's watching tv with his dad:o


I actually went looking for rabbit today in a butchers and they didn't have any. Got recommended to go in by some friends and guess what, the prices weren't horrific but i couldn't rdi of the over powering smell of bleach from the cafe next door. Put me right off. So alas i didn't buy any meat, but i'm going to visit one in town next week i think. May as well support local butchers if i can. Oh great more underwear flying past coddy;s window. Where the brush again ....

flowertotmum

Hi all..
Hello to helen jelly,joeck68..welcome..you'll love it here..these ladies are ace..
Kitschy..i too keep my mouth shut..i have one good friend that understands my lifestyle and thats all that matters..others don't feel the need to be frugal yet and are in total denial i think either that or the keeping up with the jonses attitude has kicked...i would rather chat to you ladies than them thats for sure...
ftm