Disneyworld advert - not fair...

vesper

When I was growing up I lived in a rather affluent area (my parents bought their house really cheap though as it was a shell and gradually over 18 years, did it up doing all the work them selves) and many of my friends during the summer were whisked away on family holidays like Disney. I was never that bothered, in the end I had a pair of parents that were there for me and did things that were far better than a holiday, such as one year my Dad built us a treehouse.
Instead when I was 15, I saved and saved up myself to go on a school trip to Italy as my parents couldn't afford it, it took me a year to save up but I learnt the value of money, and as I had paid for it myself I appreciated it more. To this day it has been my only holiday, and to be frank that doesn't bother me.

Your kids have got something much more valuable than a holiday that they will have vague memories of when they are grown up.

There_Goes_Trouble

I don't have children so this thought might not apply to you, but I have a vocational job and earn just enough to scrape by. I don't go on holiday, buy designer clothes, eat out... anything like that.

My thought though is that I'd rather be happy all year round and put up with no flashy holiday, than have 2 amazing weeks a year but be unhappy for the other 50 weeks. Stick with your family time. No Disneyworld holiday can compare with that.

Tropez

I come from a working class background. Father was an engineer and pulled enough money in that mum didn't have to work but not enough that we were able to afford any extravagances such as family foreign holidays. That isn't to say I didn't get special outings, such as the occasional trip to Alton Towers, but holiday wise it would always be my mum taking me, somewhere in the UK, while dad worked.

I suppose, as a kid, I was a little jealous of the other kids in my class jetting off to Majorca or Milan for their holidays but as I've grown up I know now it doesn't matter. I like to travel (well I like the part between the journeys) and have a long, long list of places I'd like to go in my life - but I want to go there because I know that when I get there what I do is up to me and my partner. You can go somewhere as a kid but you don't have that freedom, nor have you really developed a sense of what is truly enjoyable to you. When I go away, I want to see things that I've never seen before and try things that I might never get a chance to try again. I want the experience that I want and I think, if anything, if a kid really wants to do something then they'll do it themselves once they're old enough to do it. Anything else is just a typical passing interest of a child.

With regards to other things though, such as after school activities, I consider these to be valuable. My parents took an interest in what I was interested in and attempted to cater for those interests and I feel this contributed to an important part of who I am now. My interest in technology has helped me achieve far more than somebody with my disposition should have been able to achieve and I only have my parents to thank for that. My interests in other things have assisted me at some point in my life and while they may not necessarily have helped me career wise, they have still helped me at various points in my life and once again, it was my parents who gave me these opportunities via a mixture of after school activities and private activities I was able to engage in at home.

Family time is of course important, and nobody should be swayed by television marketing (my parents certainly weren't) when it comes to their children. Being there for your kids is probably the best thing that you can do but I do think that there can be a good reason to encourage your kids to spend time in after school activities - and they needn't be costly - because it will aid them in socialising, build confidence and possibly appeal to their interests too, maybe even helping to build a solid foundation for their futures.

nzmegs

OP here. thanks for the replies. it is nice to know we are doing the right thing.

I have to make it clear that we would never take our kids to Disneyworld even if we could afford to do so. I think it is commercial rubbish, but I used it as an example of how television makes us feel like inadequate parents if we can't take our children on a once in a lifetime trip.

I think the chances of our kids becoming spoiled brats is minimal...we bought our house at a time when we could easily afford it. It is a two bedroom terrace and certainly not the biggest or best house in the area. With two children this house is a squeeze...so we are not living beyond our means. We chose this area because of the excellent school and are pleased that we did. We feel we are setting up the children to achieve everything they dream of as they get older.

As parents the choice to work from home has meant that we are happier, less tired and feel a sense of pride in what we do. The kids are also proud of our jobs. I guess they just don't understand what the alternative would be as they don't remember what it used to be like. However we often feel that we are always waiting for that big break, when things will get easier and that never comes. In many ways the children have better lives, but in other ways they do suffer due to our choices.

I guess it swings in roundabouts. Hopefully they will appreciate it as they age. One thing i do know is that there is a lot of love in this house and you can't put a price on that!

SonjaLiK

This initial post of yours has really hit home as we are (and have been for the past 4 or 5 years) trying to move to a better area where we'd most likely be the poorest family in a good neighbourhood as opposed to one of the best off in a bad neighbourhood that we are now.
Growing up, I was one of the richer ones. We could never afford to go to Maldives or the likes, but amongst my friends and our neighbours, not many had what we had.
Later on, when I was a young adult, I often had arguments with my dad about the past, my childhood etc. and his main argument has always been "you had everything; you had skiing trips, long summer holidays on the beach...".
My one and only reply was: "I didn't want them." All I ever wanted was to have a dad most of my friends had: one that loves you, comes to your school, talks to you, plays with you and not one that's never there and when he is, he is so annoyed at the world that you're best off staying well out of his way.

feedumall

Adverts cost thousands agencies sit around deciding how we can be parted from our money,using children is a good tool parents want the best for there kids ,show children estatic at the thought of euro disney dont take them, bad bad parents ,yeah right .Guilt tripping is very effective ,but nobody had a terrible life because they didnt get to see a person in a mouse costume.

Molly41

Funny you should mention that advert because my DD commented on it. She is 18 now and has a very happy memory of being told she was going to Disneyland Paris when she was 6. I can still remember her face. Yes I put it on my CC but she still has the memory of a wonderful time spent with her family. I had a very frugal childhood and wanted to create happy memories for my children. I dont regret it - as they are only young once!

Mupette

I look back to my childhood and remeber not seeing my dad much because he worked all the time, trying to get money to feed and clothe us.

Holidays was a family thing, if one went camping we all did, the whole family, each year we would see the same family members, camping, caravaning... same people.

other family memebers did the expensive holidays, their daughters were spoilt brats and grew up into bigger ones.. But i was jealous as a child of their lifestyle..

Then i look at their parents both in their mid 60's still working paying debts from over the years.

Then i look at my parents, retired, living in another country, still skint, but less stressed and happy.

if i had to choose as a child i think i would of been blinded by the expensive holidays etc, but ask me now, the familiy holidays camping etc....

It takes becomming an adult to understand that advertising is just to get you to buy products etc..

As for disneyland paris, did that with DS when he was about 8 ish, i was lucky had a friend who lived in paris so accomodation was free, i only paid for the park tickets, and the extremely long coach to paris and back (never again) the place was filthy, the staff were rude, most certainly wasnt the disney dream they make it out to be.

Kids are blinded by advertising now adays, but a simple trip to the seaside was my favourite memory of my childhood, ds who is now 16 enjoyed his trips to paris, i even scaped enough for a week in the algrarve, but the driving to a beach for the day, getting lost, the picnics, he loved all that and still enjoys those memories.

faithcecilia

I think the same could be said for any adverts though. They are there to make us want whatever they are promoting, and learning we can't have everything we see that we would like is just part of life - whether that is a trip to Disneyland, or a certain toy, or even a chocolate bar! I would use it as an opportunity to talk to them about money, about it needing to be earned and that you have chosen a certain lifestyle for your family. Even if they are very young they will be able to understand it - I learnt young that we were poor (still are, lol!) but that we were also lucky because we had a home, enough food, and family around.

What about playing with them one weekend to 'make Disneyland' at home - paint, old wallpaper, streamers, music, etc - and then all curl up in front of their favourite disney film with a treat such as popcorn to make is extra special?

Taliahmai

My kids always ask if they can go on a plane this year too. My son is 8 and he has been abroad 3 times (thanks to help from nannie and grandad) My 4 year old has been abroad once. I have told them we will try and save up and go to disneyland paris but it wont be for a couple of years.

We do go camping a lot though, once you have everything for it (freecycle and ebay are great) You can go anywhere. We often pack up and just head out for a weekend, i dont pay loads for a site (no more then £30 for a weekend) we take our own food and cook and just do things as a family once there....play football, go walking, swingball is great, tennis, hide and seek, board games allsorts....the kids absolutely love it, and have so many happy memories from it